I didn’t work my usual marathon today (I didn’t exactly have an easy day mind you) but, I met back up with someone I trained (at a store) two years ago, it was like a time machine, she had that on me, total surprise, she’s young, it is not a thing like that, but sometimes you just run into someone who reminds you of the fire of life, this was one of those moments, in Harlem of all places (when we previously met in Valley Cottage), life is strange, and all circles, maybe I should be more… observant and active in it. Sometimes you just connect with a certain person, for whatever reason, enjoy the moment, they are special, we had that fun and now the universe brought us back together… so damn strange…
That said.. here is some simple thoughts…
8/13/2018
where were you
when you were gone
but more to the heart –
where are you now?
8/13/2018
you are
all the more
I could ever
ask for
NOTE: sort of my groove on Haiku… feel wise.
I have posted this one before, but so what, this is what I am jamming to, you’ll get over it..
Sometimes work saps the sap of life out of me (just jam the damn syrup spigot in my back already)… 2 days into the week and nearly 24 hours of work hours logged can do that, so I am beat like that plastic bag on the highway that keeps getting passed (unmercifully) car to car, under tires, sometimes head on, I feel like I am tumbling out of control head over heels into traffic (why am I programmed to work so damn hard?)… and like that bag I am no good for my (immediate) environment, I want to defuse myself and live… but life is not that simple as my typed words, years of behavior do not unravel and re-learn themselves in the blink of a blog, “it’s a process” … ugg, that almost makes me sick thinking it let alone typing it, but what else can I do ? 360 in a day doesn’t happen, we all love the certain and known (I am surely no exception), but try and step back, well… do step back, sure it will be a bit late most of the time, but not all the time, at least, that is where I am at, I can only speak for me, this one voice, this one vessel filled with all the unique and common experiences, how do we think like anyone else? how can we? is trying enough? or is failing better? Just throwing things, cuffs off and all, just throwing things bouncing my inner walls…
Note: my posts are totally organic (except the poetry when date stamped), tonight I am totally exhausted but writing… it brought me some semblance, I thought about writing nothing, but… the muse took over, so the lesson, move over rover and let the muse take over….
Although my job can be thoroughly frustrating (often) I must admit (begrudgingly) that it does afford me the opportunity to discover/explore/experience all the locales of the local locale (whew, that’s a mouthful), I guess more simply I am thrust into neighborhoods not too far from where I grew up (well, grew up in the physical sense), and said neighborhoods can be interesting little beakers of human experiment. Today I was stuck, ahem, ‘assigned’ to a store in (googling the section where Dykman street is… hold on…) the Inwood section. The history is pretty interesting if you read the Wiki… but there is definitely some gentrification going on here, right around the corner from the store (and storefronts which are clearly Dominican/Puerto Rican) is a little street that is a little booshie… (go to the street side view)… very different from Broadway proper (almost the bronx)… trust me, this will be the new Williamsburg imo (not necessarily a bad thing)… just a little exposition on a neighborhood that will explode, I mean, damn it is right on the Hudson river, easy access to the G-Dub… cmon now…
Anyway, just past the store is this intersection… don’t blame me, blame the city planners…(map) (you might have to click on “larger map”), it is funny that it is a dead end where they meet… let me know if you spot what I spotted… (wink)
and I will be back there tomorrow, so I hope to explore the neighborhood further, but man the pizza (Sicilian) sucked @ tony’s but my co-worker Alex (who is all Rican … Dominican and Puerto mix!) said “what did you expect in a Dominican neighborhood”… damn I am white and stupid… I should stick to the local licks.
continuing my series of just parking my big white butt outside and looking at the small window of the world I can see here in new jersey suburbia. I am a little behind so I am posting two posts that represent two weeks, I am posting tonight’s first (and last week’s just under) because if feels more vital to me, I am trying to carve out the time to post on time, in my head I have a plan but the world seems to disagree with me… often, but I will endeavor to keep doing this project, sort of like the “picture a day” thing people do online, it is revealing, I hope this experiment turns out worth it, if not, well, then it doesn’t… but I am certainly more optimist than not so, with that all said…
9.16.18 (porch series)
this is one of those fall nights
where everything seems the way described in books
the temperature has fallen into comfort
into just cool enough
especially on the back of the memory of an angry blistering summer
(but that even now seems so faraway
weeks wipe memories faster than time can build candles on a cake);
leaves have two lives now
clinging to branches or littering the floor
all from verdant green move to vivid spectrum now
swatches of the dead adorn
but no rebirth can occur without the purge, I know,
this same hour in which I write, is much later now
the ancients association of death with night
the night that approaches and slowly suffocates the daylight
day by day swallowed night by night longer into winter, a descent,
all life is strangled to slumber
each phase of the passing days
subtracts a piece of the orchestra
summer full bloom is certainly a symphony
(or cacophony for some)
but now the year moves to loom on ever still
the lights burn out from the peak fire of life
leaves fall, insects lose their songs
the rain will become hard blocks
but – I should remain in now
not dwell on such dire things
even if I might be quite used to them
why faster should I wish their arrival
for now – enjoy, this nearly flawless night
something of which I might wish I could capture
in a moving minute moment picture
wrapped up in ball of cloth, stuffed in my pocket,
so I might take it out and wrap around
to block out
the whatever “importance” is swirling about,
and come back, to now
sitting here under the hazy crescent moon
drawing deep breaths
exhaling –
to become a component of this night
under the hazy tender glow
of a crescent moon.
9.10.2018 (porch series)
in an instant, seemingly
the summer has given way
already the silent stalk of winter
inhabits the shadows
the rain, once soothing, once relief
now speaks of longer nights
and trades in the rumors of the coming cold
fall it seems is just a balance beam
between, walking along artfully to an inevitable end
the cycle which began will but start again
as is all things
but this is a different matter
to try and capture the unfolding
to observe the obvious march
towards winter’s holding
do I delight? or mourn?
but as yet I know reborn
but there must be, that firstlast kiss of death –
the step that must come before the stairs
before we can resurrect.
Music… dramatic, with classical instruments and modern ones… you might notice patterns, I might call them taste…
not that I ever have a full weekend (rarely), I work 6 days a week (my choice I am not complaining…. ok, a little…), but I still like to think of the relief of the idea of a weekend… the idea sounds so damn nice… but if you follow me you see that I like to post some simpler things on the weekend, or funny things, not everything I post has to be an exposition to impress you or anyone, I aim to entertain to those who like my particular brand of thought (I post almost all my work, good, bad or indifferent), that’s all, as I usually say “with that said…”… so with that said…
“untitled” 4/26/18
hello day moon
I’m told you must signify something
just another thursday
I might imagine
if clouds are mountain tops
you are the king
but not mine
“untitled” 4/26/18
amber ember remember
blazing fire burning hotter,
forget,
why do I keep locked back
to ponder wonder hover,
the past is ash
yet I still grasp
the soot, stains my fingers
the scent, of expired fire
that once was
where now – there is none
“struggle” 4/28/18
cherry blossoms fallen
first line of defense
dandelions spawned
infantry
buds bustle and deploy
out on limbs
but winter always loses
so why try?
like all else
struggle
for every ounce of life
“untitled” 4/28/18
a sunset
how many more sunsets
will I see
how many more
alone
all around
this world is sprouting green
but yet my heart remains mourning
in winter’s captivity
musical amusical a musical, going really classic (legendary imo) on you all…
Do you watch some of the silly tags that come across on the “reader” page here… I do, and sometimes the combos are quite amusing (well, to this jersey boy anyway), just logged in and saw this…
Seems like a flow chart of my life .. Craft Beer (check), go to the psychologist (check), in my happy place (check)… ahhh….. that’s all just a silly post as I am sometimes just a silly goose (this being one of those times if you did not notice)
notes… I think this one is pretty straight on, I was picking at the underlying scab of the ugliness of humanity and money…. am I above it ? I wish I could say I am totally a pauper who lives the life of a monk, but here I am on my $3K laptop posting about greed… as if I am better than anyone (which I am certainly not), stripping yourself of the material is a process, after all, I’m just a material girl… in a material world…
music… again I will wander into the obscure, I can pretty much guaranty you never heard this… but it is pre-korn NIN type stuff, they fizzled out but this song had it all imo… (and no it is not death metal, clean vocals but it is heavy at times…)
Just some rambling last thoughts (or things I forgot as I write my posts whole-cloth from memory on the spot)…
Anna remarked during the show how she does not like to talk (just perform) which sort of is ironic for a lead singer (at least I thought so, but she was in a talkative mood this particular evening – she talked about how they like to tell stories with their songs and origins of the various lyrics, definitely a different vibe than “this is a song about a girl” or whatever…). More importantly she said that the new album is pretty much done (and a new song was ready to be debuted… soon! yay ! If I remember correctly she said the new tune was very complicated so they couldn’t play it yet live. Which makes sense if you know any professional musicians, doing things in a studio is one thing but then learning the new stuff cold to play live is quite the different animal all-together.) Did I mention she plays a friggin’ hurdy gurdy ? That thing looks like it weighs a ton. From a show perspective I thought it was pretty cool that she would hop on the thing (it was on a stand) but then hop off to sing lead / engage the audience. She also broke out a flute… man she makes me feel like a lazy musical bum!
My staked out position happened to be next to 2 black guys (and their girlpal), I only say that because for whatever reason there just generally is not a lot of black people at metal/rock shows. In fact one of the guys remarked “hey, we are the 2 token black people here”… which I found amusing (if you like South Park, think of Token). It got me thinking back to a show I was at ages ago for the BRC (Black Rock Coalition) in NYC. The BRC is pretty interesting I recommend you check them out (for once I would say their Wiki page is pretty accurate). Of course my favorite all time singer is Doug Pinnick and he always wondered about why there is so few black artists/fans in the genre as well (as you could argue that rock and roll itself (and by extension metal) is derived from essentially black music – I don’t want to go to far into the weeds on this right now, maybe another time we’ll have that discussion).
So just a final overview/review… (in case I missed it), this band are total pros man, very tight and obviously well rehearsed, I have seen plenty of “big” bands in my day be a little sloppy or not pay as much attention to detail (lazy from success maybe?).. but Cellar Darling ? nah, they nail it… sure, they have a limited catalog admittedly but I have a good eye (and ear) for these things.
Unfortunately I could not stick around after the show but the band was hanging out interacting with the fans at the merch table… damn, it would be nice to be independently wealthy… but I will settle for mildly comfortable for now…
So in between sets I looked behind me and there is standing Anna Murphy kind of unassumingly checking out the room and opening act. Other people noticed of course, I didn’t want to be a pain in the ass but definitely wanted to tell her (in some suave manner) how much I love her art (it is art after all). So after some trepidation and a flux of nervous energy I saw the opportunity and jumped in to say a few things… and boy I am glad none of my friends were around, I turned into a 13 year old fan girl faster than you can say my little pony… I had all these lofty things in my head that I thought I might say but… whew, I swerved past that in a nervous rout of sheer geeky fandom, to her credit I am sure she has witnessed plenty of men turn into jelly trying to get out all the feelings/emotions/thoughts as she has been touring for years and been on huge stages in front of massive adulating crowds, I said something in the neighborhood of loving her solo album (which I absolutely do) and how I didn’t need a selfie (gee.. cause I am just too cool for the room but I was probably drooling on myself by this point), I haven’t had that sort of nervous energy in some time… so I made a semi fool of myself, and that’s fine, it certainly was not the first time, and certainly will not be the last, she was absolutely gracious to me and everyone who wanted anything (autographs, photos etc etc)… she took it all in stride and was genuinely appreciative of the fans (this was a tuesday night after all… and 9/11 no doubt). So anyway I was literally vibrating after that for some time anxiously awaiting their set. Side note… In my mind’s eye I didn’t think Anna was that short, I don’t look up people’s vitals when viewing videos but man.. they are all a lot shorter than I pictured in my mind (like from the videos). Not that it matters but it is that much more impressive that someone of Anna’s stature has a 10 story voice, and Merlin? damn, he is a slamming force of nature (no fret Ivo, you rule too, and damn I forgot to google the bass player but I am not going to pretend for this piece that I did, but his bass reminded me of seeing Geddy Lee ages ago as I never saw a bass like that previously). Like I said in my previous post this club has such a strange (but awesome) setup where the band literally has to wade through the audience to get up to the stage. A quick word on the audience, for such a small crowd my fellow cellar darlings (see what I did there..) were a really good crowd, no assholes, really polite, and definitely into it.
So the band finally takes the stage… (they did a quick last minute sound check previously which I am so used to when I was following King’s X all over the east coast back in the late 90’s early 2000’s). I purposely (which is not usually like me) did not check the internet to see what the set list was (well.. I mean, they only have ONE album so… it was just a matter of song order I suppose)… but point being I wanted a total surprise, a total new experience, I really haven’t had the chance to go out to many shows the past few years as none of my friends listen to what I do and I am quite single (applications… ladies? … kidding, having some fun there), so… they opened with Black Moon which is a good choice as it is a pretty simple one to play and gives the sound engineer some leeway to adjust the levels, sure, it is one of their “singles” (is that even a thing anymore?) but it surely is a kick ass song to get the crowd going. A word on their sound engineer, she did a fantastic job (and “she” is important, my years of seeing literally thousands of shows I almost expect some dude working the soundboard, just one of those things, you usually do not see females at that job.. why ? I have no idea nor can I speak to that, but she absolutely crushed it, unfortunately I did not get a chance to tell her so – sound people rarely get the credit they deserve – so kudos to her wherever she is at this moment – after about halfway through song 2 the sound was close to perfect, sometimes the guitar popped up in the mix but overall, especially the hurdy gurdy was spot on). I won’t go through the whole set, I used to be one of those people who wrote down all these things… but I was there singing along to all the words (OK, except the song not in english “Hedonia” – before which Anna quipped “you won’t understand shit” lol, but then amended that because there were some people in the audience that apparently spoke Swiss), so I was banging my head old school, just enjoying the show. The band was fantastic, there was only a couple of mistakes in the entire show and I think I was the only one that noticed being the music nerd I am. Totally tight and in control, Anna.. man, her voice live ? wow… watch the clips, no tricks, no auto tune she just brings it… and as I said previously Merlin just SLAMS on the drums, what a thunder, Ivo and the bass player are friggin robots (in a good way, just exact and damn on time), they basically played the entire album, I liked the song mix (order) they picked, great ebb and flow, they decided not to do the usual “encore” bullshit and Anna just basically said they were going to just play the encore tunes… and they did.
I absolutely loved it all and was pleasantly surprised by “Six Days” which was much better live than on the album (heavier), they did the Queen cover “Prophet” as well but I would have preferred Twin Flames… but I am just a lowly fanboy, still on cloud 9, feeling like I am in my 20’s discovering some new thing that no one knows about. If anyone reads this, and cares about the future of music, go check out Cellar Darling… I don’t understand how people are not beating down the doors for them, they are not some crazy death metal act (ahem, which I love, crazy death metal that is…) but really accessible folk metal/rock with both amazing vocals and great playing overall (without being too prog imo).
Thank you Cellar Darling, for a great experience I will not forget.
Being that they are basically a Swiss band they do not travel these parts often (well, not as this band maybe… as Eluveitie… ok, fair enough). But that said when I first got into Eluveitie it was a little (very) late in the game, in fact when I started googling them they had just broken up ! doh! So… the sometimes lead singer (the amazing Anna Murphy) and two members of Eluveitie (Merlin Sutter, drums and Ivo Henzi, guitars and bass) broke off and formed… Cellar Darling (the name is also the name of Anna’s quite excellent solo album)… so with all that tedious groundwork laid out….
The venue? A legendary (to some), mysterious to others (me) spot located in the Greenpoint section of Brooklyn, I am very familiar with the area (one of my accounts is literally up the street) but I had no idea this venue (which seems to specialize in the heavier side of the musical spectrum -yay!) even existed… and the beast is called “St. Vitus“… go ahead and check out the link, I’ll wait for you… It looks a lot worse than it actually is inside, I was sort of amused and bemused that there is absolutely no sign on the building, I kind of just drove down manhattan ave until I came to the approximate address… so I just parked… I went to where the place SHOULD be and found THE door that music was behind… and entered…
No pat down (which I was expecting, like the dork I am I wanted to bring a journal and one of my fancy metal pens… oh well, just have to use the ole noggin instead!). Lots of cute satanic stuff adorns the walls but that is just amusing to me… I mean if you believe in satan you are acknowledging some other “good” god, unless you are of the Anton LeVey strain, but that is all a different matter and I do not want to venture off onto another tangent (as I am known to do)… on first glance you think dive bar, but this is a dressed up dive bar with actual clean corners if you look around and inspect, plus they had a good tap menu (although a beer was $8, I know it is a stone’s throw from NYC proper (ie manhattan south) but damn… either way I still tip at least a buck when I buy a drink)… I wound up having a couple of Victory Prima Pils (excellent beer)… I did not want to get buzzed in any fashion as I had a good hour drive home (god bless (or curse) the BQE and the Staten Island Expressway, oy…)… plus it was humid as balls so water was the later option (I know, ruining my party animal image…). The room itself (stage etc) is pretty small, they say capacity is 250…woah, that has to be pushing it…. forward, I might imagine you can fit 300 in here, but only if you include the bar area (which honestly would not be the worst thing in the world…).
So I scoped out the room, picked out a spot, and anchored myself, luckily the crowd was light so planting a flag and defending my turf was not a necessity on this night, I used to be that guy who had to be up front… but with age I just want to hear everything the best I can (and finding THAT spot is a thing, being right in front sucks… trust me even though I get the urge). So there was time to kill.. so of course I people watched (as I am known to do)… there was huge metal guy (with his denim vest from 198? with all the patches from iron maiden forward, sort of like a metal war flag of where he has been, and damn that dude is always like 6’2 or bigger, but there is always one of THAT guy at every metal show, then there is the people competing to wear the oldest concert shirts to show off their metal cred, then there is the disinterested girlfriend dragged there by their totally into metal boyfriend (I totally have been that guy), then there is the spiritual old guy with the fanny pack raising up his hands like he just don’t care with the newly bought band t-shirt tucked in, not sure if he knows where he is, then there is the friends of the local openers, easy to spot, maybe I am cynical and have been to too many concerts? nah… even though I was scoping out the soundboard setup… again I am too into this… I just was in a t-shirt and jeans with my semi soft looking merrells (they are comfy!)… besides I have been all those things I laugh at, so… not judging, more reminiscing…
So I had no idea who the opening band was… usually I could care less (or they stink worse than the skunk that died up your ass 4.5 months ago)… turns out the opener friggin ruled ! They are called Seven)Suns (apparently the “)” thing matters… they played as a trio instead of their usual quartet, which, to me made no difference because I had no idea who the hell they were anyway, so anyway… they basically are excellent classical musicians who are into the heavy stuff and cover same.. ferociously on their instruments (and I do mean ferocious!)…. now, I know not everyone (or more than 14 people at times…) read my blog but I love classical music, I also have always been under the belief that death metal and really technical metal is closer to classical music than most people understand/realize (challenging, exciting, fast, tonal changes etc etc)… so this absolutely blew me away… I think most of the audience was a bit bewildered (by observation) but I totally got it. Nothing like banging your head to classical instrumentation… they played a few “covers” (as if they don’t sound so original..) they had me like “what the hell is that?? I KNOW that!!??!?” for parts of the songs. Their cover if “It’s Love” by Pantera was really damn cool, apparently they don’t like to play it because Phil Anselmo (the lead singer of pantera) did something I have no idea about and frankly am too lazy to google at the moment (I’ll get to it… but cmon, that song rules), they had great vibe and personality, Earl was very amusing and real, Jennifer and Amanda were also great.
Shades of My Garden 