sudden. realization.

sudden. realization.

when my eyes darken,
in a time of light,
I will know
this is the time of night.

but until that time,
I must rejoice
to bask in the light
of both the sun- and the moon.

with the whirlwind trying to get my mother end of life care I realize my own future… why is this not taught anywhere? This is a tidal wave… and only the brave might not get swept under by the might of such force… and car salesman, ahem sales people… I do not blame those trying to make money off such things, I blame the general lack of info and circumstance that allows such things. this was one of the longest weeks I can recall in a long time… of course time is the same but I am not in how I experience it…

cry out, and a tree falls

cry out, and a tree falls

if I might cry out
who is there to hear me
if I scream inside
the voice, is mine
and even if-
there is ears, to hear
what might that reaction make?

so I might understand
the tree in the forest
and a lightning strike
or a tree alone in a grove
in hundred year stance,
for the same fate unfolds-
for both.

(but timing is everything)

one of my pet bands… I will always love them… and their debut album is a rock legend… you may or may not agree, matters not to me… I love it…

fools

fools

the balance of fools
just upon the balance of fools I dance
without knowing
the music or the steps
but knowing in just breaths
that I am but on strings
to navigate such strings
while feeling the pull
and denying the same
(to myself)

insert words of wisdom here… sometimes I am the big ego, sometimes I feel like a pawn or a useless tool… depends on my mood, and the day… and if it matters anyway, I’m not sure… so…

sand.

sand.

will I be sand
or stone
when I go-
or have I already been
all of these
and more

have I been
fire that burns
or water for thirst

will I be a flash of light
across the sky
or the calming glow
of the vast twilight

for I will never know-
these memories may have been
but I can grasp-
the dirt within my hands
and dream of them

if only I could talk to my DNA and understand the spiral that is me.

the heat

the heat

the heavy summer blanket-
the sweltering-pulp of thick air
is-
that feral cat
on my deck,
rabbit-scared bolt
in our previous encounters
today?
strewn out
like bone-dry-baked seaweed
waiting for the salvation
of the tide
to revive

sure, I have been through summers, and I also lived in south Florida for a spell… but it is hard to describe how air can be heavy, where it hits you when you walk out the door in the morning like a literal barrier, and even at night, where just a simple breeze is revelation, and air conditioning is truly salvation, but if you have no means of shelter? or reprieve? you have no choice but to wait it out, all else becomes a distant thought.

found out

found out

yeah, this is my space, I do what I want… sometimes, well, often I just have to reflect… so, yeah… this takes me back, no apologies, love me, hate me, it don’t matter… if you found me, you understand, maybe not. maybe so… so… live. please live with a smile, that is all I am trying to do in my own way… so do it.