and someone young said (to me)
“how can you leave her behind?”
but you did, back then,
and the time passes
and regret sets in like habits, grows within, becomes a vine on the building, on the foundation;

unseen at the time-
such is life-
we tell ourselves
but we remember
the mistakes and the absence
of those we left behind
for reasons
which we know now…
which we know now are.

yeah, I am a hopeless romantic… I had a perfect thing, well obviously it was not perfect but… much better than everything else since… and she and I were meant to be I believe, 2 different worlds collided too many edges to smooth out as 20 year olds… it would probably work better now. We used to finish each other’s sentences… that … is a rare thing, we had a rare thing.. I hope I can fall into that again… before I am dead, which is sooner now than later, which is crazy to think about but is true, I am north of 50 but do not feel it but it is fact… most people who meet me do not peg me north of 50. but I am… I could struggle with worse but this is my blog so… this is what I post.