the river.

the river.

Water… and time… even when nearly frozen or our perception thereof they are moving, perhaps to different states of matter, always moving, not always like a river, not always in the direction we might perceive, both a measure of our lives when they run out… a strange Gemini to ponder, to watch each moment go by, imagine watching, in front of your very eyes, a little ship, sailing by, your life, in those moments, if you tried to reach and hold them you would miss, no matter how quick, such is time, and life, and water… going by.

the old man and the well.

the old man and the well.

(scene-set: in a landscape more purple than grey, no sunset or sunrise, no night, just vague ambient light, just the cover of a dense low blanket fog, each to his own on plots of land that seem planned and measured, not vacant and yet alone, close enough to see each other but not close enough to speak even in sign, so here I resign and reside, I do not know how long I have been – here, I imagine for some time but that imagination is gone.)


So I said to the old man, who’s just my reflection now, but my companion none the less, ‘so I still remain here, drinking the poison water from this poison well, may well I know so well to covet the contents, as if I am tethered’ -his look back is just abject truth, the pure raw-rip simplicity of rhetorical conductivity, dare I? there is no puzzle here, there is no conundrum to concern, no circumstance but my own has slam-shackled my ankle to the rocky doldrums of this dreary-barrenstick of landscape, and I as I rise to stretch, I think I can see the glowing fields of seeming-gleaming Elysium just over the hill there, not so far, so far enough, just as I remember them, I think- I recall, but I continue to dwell, here, losing time ever more, each breath a shutter’s eye closer to shutter, benign in my stymied form, those around, some can not be more than born, even if I do not know for sure their story I can read it, I don’t have such excuse, not ravaged by disease or unforeseen circumstance, no, my abode is my own as is my rotten skin I live down-in, so every day on wake, a circle I make, waves and kisses for the masses and missus, perhaps some days a step further out, some days a step never given, curled in a ball rather comforted in submission, only on occasion does the foul water taste of the true poison I know there lingers, and nurtures this dark vision, the leeching power of intrusion, the why bother of non inclusion – simply the manner of my disillusion, a comfortable situation, here, the useless back and forth with my so-wise inner self, with all the answers but not the mechanisms to get them done- over that hill, where I once was, I can no longer clearly see that self, in mirrors or inside, or in dead photographs, that fade, for is no longer I, like someone else’s dream I was in for a time, perhaps a spell, but I can still somehow feel deep-down the purity of those days, a clean-clear running spring perhaps, even if not perfection in the real an upgrade from this utter-ness, but this is home for now (ever?), until that fire known (forgotten?) once more burns, long enough and hot enough to spurn these old bones to action or ruin, I know, I know in this rust, this ruse, I owe this to those, those who cannot, but more I owe this ticket to the universe for making this plot, for myself, and the life that seems I may have forgot.

flow.

flow.

flowing, ever flowing
a rash-rapids
a roiling rage of falls-
the slow crawl over a delta;
even the ever stoic ocean
has her tides
her lows, her highs
all in succession,
and such is time
as the two were born at the hip
as one
force we feel upon our lives
we ride,
for what other choice do we have
or drown
but simply one day
there is that – or drought.

notes… water… the lifeblood of life, able to carry and destroy… and we see all sorts on our little short carousel ride here…

the tragedy of self

the tragedy of self

be that some unnamed mountain peak, climbed and bent under knee, a breath on top of the roof of the world, three hundred and sixty degrees, a view for few or even a king or a queen, only here and now, on the short pinnacle, the way down, the paths crossing, somewhere down, hidden by height and cloud cover, where the under dwells, where our lives lead, the to and fro, while not always climbing, just passing, station to station, aspiration sometimes leads to inspiration, the elevation, but all of this, the lofty heights, the lofty goals, must at once, inevitably – lay down… so take the breath in, enjoy the view, and smile in the sun’s light when you can.

touchstone

touchstone

to carve my name upon a stone
buried in an earthen mound
untouched by tides or droughts

to let my blood into the roots
of a young joshua tree
so I might reach into the spires
and praise the open sky
for eons

to drop my note
in a bottle
weighted to drop to depths
and remain until the earth
is once over overrun

to catapult my ash
into space oneself
to visit the earth
and all else-
on the solar winds
until the collapse
of the universe
once over
herself

to survive, in whatever form…

Talismans…

Talismans…

I gravitate back to this subject in my mind often, if this sounds familiar, I often think of ways I could remind myself, ground myself, to not get caught up in the usual loops, the minor distractions that cause fractions in your spirit, I am fond of things of the sea, or at least reminders there of, especially the Māori culture, certainly not of my heritage, or any lineage that I know of, but the sea faring nature, belonging to the ocean, to one day return there from a singular point, is fascinating, and calming to me, I suppose much like wearing a cross or whatever religion or symbol might bring relief to your mind and body, I think often of these things, and as of yet have not found a permanent resident, bracelets, statues, little bobbles on my desk, nothing has yet to really captivate for more than moments at a time, I guess I could put up literal signs “don’t be a lazy ass” but I think that lacks a little bit of the elegance I am going for, maybe I am over thinking this just like I seem to do everything, then I see it, a bit of leftover from take out food from Saturday lunch, a simple string, such a simple thing, such a simple solution, not twine, soft cotton I might surmise (well, I am no tailor, just a guess), one string on quick glance but yet clearly a harmony, a colony of many strings, so many metaphors flowing through the most nominal of things, perhaps for today, maybe tomorrow, maybe let’s see, this can be my talisman, the sweet simple reminder I seek…

talisman, testament… I dunno… somehow it made me think of this… classic thrash from my youth… a pretty straight forward song, the lyrics were not exactly deep but interesting to a me teen… and maybe it did make me think at the time…

postcard

postcard

the sun slowly settles
beneath the horizon line
of a european city;
I do not know her
the odor – the moisture – the flavor of-
for I have never been-
to paris

I know not her breath
inside my lungs, upon my tongue
filling my mouth, nor on my lips
for all this, I imagine;
sitting on a bare chair
sipping a cup of tea
drawn white curls of steam
rising
up into the moon
like a balloon
escaping
a child’s flight;

to know the lights
of her street lights
enchanting my eyes, dancing, inside,
to listen-
to a foreign language
in a native land
and I imagine
inherent comprehension
innately – I understand;

I pause, to gaze at my feet
reflections bouncing
down the cobbled stone street
stone by stone, skipping
as cars pass by,
as I fade into a trance
into this known, dream

perhaps a concocted reality
from a place I have only seen
in pictures and scenes
how familiar this might feel
but a great ocean between-
there and I
tells the truth of tales-
I need to see her
for myself
(one day, perhaps, my dear)

notes… as always, I try to put the fear out of my mind, the losing of the muse, catching the tail of her… sometimes the ideas are like a deluge, but with that also comes drought, and doubt… I am human after all… but sometimes I still, even after writing all these years, have to be ok with a pause… the time in between sometimes feels like life times, but it is but a blink, the trick is making your peace with it as an artist… sometimes you are on fire, sometimes you are the last ember in the furnace, until that last flicker… you are alive, so, be with it… this piece was out of nowhere for me, it just fell into place, as I drove home, listening to the above classical piece, and the words came to me from the universe… how else can I explain it ? the words came, the urge came, I had to pull over and write down the words as they came to me… been awhile, and such an exhilarating feeling,so, cheers, to the muse, whatever that is, god, the universe, the earth, star dust.. who the hell knows.. and I am OK with not knowing…