there is something to the sun, I know we can break it all down to vitamin D and all that… but beyond that, can you tell me that a simple dose of old vitamin D gives you this same feeling on your cheek? If that were the case I might bathe in such a concoction of vitamins to awake the same response, but we do not have to go that far, no, just catch the sun at the right time, the rays will blaze and do the rest, so rest, close your eyes, feel that warmth even on a winter’s day, listen to all the sounds around, how nature weaves in and out, your noisy neighbor, a rumbling car, seem temporary against the constant drive of nature’s voice, this is true solar power…
Month: February 2024
casual stroll on a winter’s night
Guttenberg NJ… and that little island town across the way Manhattan…
dead letter day
the dead letters day
will arrive
and my name
will become, no more
“NO, I AM here!”
I scream, as if
the echo shall carry on and on
but even an echo dies
in that endless on-
the dead letters day.
My Valentine.
I suppose I never thought of Valentine’s Day as a winter holiday- but it is here, this time of year, there is a romantic winter-sun-glazed air today- a thick blanket of snow on the roof, smoke puffing away in mini clouds from the chimney, us, melting into a soft couch, curled up next to the one you love, wrapped in a blanket like one, check your formal wear at the door, this is the time for sweatshirts that have lost stiches over the years, and maybe a few holes here and there, a time for quiet reflection and the warmth of your hand, in a state as calm as sleeping but not dreaming, just being, true, it has been a long time, but somehow there is memory in my skin, of feeling, of the warmth, of your heart beating, you never liked when I looked deeply in your eyes, but I could not resist their paradise, all the wrongs, the fights, the words, all seem gone now, just the quiet singular times like these, just curled up, and just being.
I must admit I waver on the issue of “better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”… I would be bereft of knowing the bliss, but on the other heart be ignorant of the empty chasm, the knowing I could not repair the damage wrought, the wrong thoughts, actions, sheer stupidity or pig headedness, yes, hindsight is pretty spot on, but it is the screaming obviousness of it all that haunts, but then again, I can curl up in my head, stoke a certain memory spark, and in that inner hearth my heart still blazes warmth that sometimes keeps out the cold…
the kiss of death…
“The Kiss of Death” photo
transference-
the balance of a moment
two lips collide
and soothe each other with paused breath
for a moment-
and in the next-
death arrives.
Pond, at night, New Jersey
Zabriskie Pond (and historical site in the background), Wyckoff NJ at dusk
realization in a universe
no, time will tell no one-
when I’m gone
just the last long light
of another long dead star
gazed upon
but never understood.
displacement
the seagull-
a territory much de-ranged;
for a scavenger hunts
for scraps-
and what the ocean might provide
can be found also-
in a local parking lot
the grey misery
I can almost imagine what the constant sight of grey prison walls over and above, what that may do on the health of a mind, the dull grey concrete blocks, block after block, blocking any view, stripes are not exotics but are bars, shadows are artificial there, these slum some days have felt like this, the constant threat of rain that never came, never washing, the difference between day and night dark shades balances on a thin needle, this creeping fear of feeling that this will last forever as the hours drone on, the sun retreating so far long gone, slowly- hope is tapped, drained and fading, no real reason for despair but this seems like the natural pairing with the grey, of these extended days, what day is it? …and as if by magic and levee broke, with one stroke, one bolt, one breath of god upon the skies – a light! how many days now did this dread stretch, and yet with one sweep of sweet sun the ledger is turned over, my inner soul is dancing around a pole in festival turns, with all the mystery and science and knowledge we have, everything wears down when the light is out-
dichotomy
maybe I am a little nuts… but I love the beach in the winter, and NJ has lots of nooks and crannies to explore, the ocean side and the delaware side have rich histories that have risen and fallen like the very tides that drive them…
Shades of My Garden 