Author: David Koblentz

Inspiration is a fickle muse. Sometimes empty, sometimes overwhelming. These words I write are my own but they seem driven by something else (perhaps?).
Being someone else.

Being someone else.

by David Koblentz ♥ 3 Comments
grayscale photography of two newborn
Photo by Zaid Abu Taha on Pexels.com

I find my self often thinking about being someone else… I am not talking about the fantasies we all have about being famous or hitting the big home run (or playing a mind melting guitar solo in front of a crowd of floozies looking to hop my bones (ok… a little too much there)). I am literally talking about the mental exercise of looking at an everyday person and trying to gauge what it is to be them, in their skin, their experience, their problems, their sins and joys, I am talking about crawling in there and trying on that skin suit, empathy to the Nth degree, empathy by actually being, sure, it can’t happen but my mind needs crackers to munch on so it doesn’t munch on itself.   It is a strange exercise as sometimes I think it is pointless (we are all dead walking – hope I am wrong on that count but as far as I know now…) but other times it leads to insights you might not have thought of if you didn’t take your mind muscle through the paces, give it a whirl.  This work was my attempt at describing a bit of my thought process as it happened… just sitting in my car during my lunch hour, had to get out of the office to breath in some calm air, listen to some tunes… and words floated in… and controlled my pen…. (plus I picked a baby pic for click bait… c’mon, everyone loves babies.. and puppies… and unicorns, market research tells me so…)

“thoughts, lunch in the car, Hackensack NJ” 4/27/18

a gray day

a friday

threatening rain

forecast in hand

but eyes tell

better than a weather app

the local pockets of rain

on my corner of this map

people walking by, walking on by

I do not know them

but they know the route

as sure footing confident

are they looking at me

wondering the same things

shared experiences with another’s lens

stranger’s mouth and foreign eyes

a divergent skin on frame

tailored to a different size

choice of shoes and shirt

might we switch places

what would I do

where will I go

what would I inherit

what now will I know?

musical choice? I feel like a classic…

Motorhead – Ace of Spades

Fast and dirty rock and roll baby… time for the weekend.. oh wait, I am working (audible sigh), festivities cancelled, damn it.

The Mercy, and the story of Donald Crowhurst…

The Mercy, and the story of Donald Crowhurst…

by David Koblentz ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
man standing on boat
Photo by Oliver Sjöström on Pexels.com

So, if you are like me (and not a Brit), you may have not heard of Donald Crowhurst, click the link or just take my short version… basically this guy set out to win a prestigious race back in the 60’s to circumnavigate the globe via sailboat without stopping.  We tend to forget that we are not really that far removed from certain things… like black and white TV… only having a few TV channels, the internet (thank the gods) etc etc.  100 years as a capsule is not that much time in the grand scheme of things but in a life it is, but sometimes you have to step back and look at that, take a step out of the stream and test the water, when you are in it – your perception is muddled.  So anyway, to me, the Crowhurst story is fascinating, I really liked the movie “The Mercy” (review here, shameless plug), but the idea is what is endearing, it also seems something that is woven into the psyche of the british isles history (or maybe I am wrong, but it seems that way to me).  So the movie (and story) inspired me… as I have said before my handwriting is hot summer garbage, so… sometimes transcribing said handwriting is, well, frankly a chore as I am unsure of some of the words that I MYSELF wrote, lol… so this was on the shelf for a month-ish or so, until I figured out what the hell I wrote (especially being a longer piece, at least, for me)… and so, here it is:

“the mercy” 7.30.2018

the mercy; dear wife,

leaving you

sailing out on my own

alone into the wide oceans

travel directions

opposite of hope

the look in your eyes

as I depart from the shore

enough to dash all

upon these rocks

like so many ships before

 

my hope, my only hope

lies within the tides

(buoyed by my pride and savvy)

might I circumnavigate

and find my way back to you, once again

my prayers back to you

riding on these fateful trade-winds

 

you would think

the opportunity to discover new lands, new coasts

the fame, the accolades

would entice

but all I ever yearned for

the way to return home

to common shores

and common hands

and, your love

 

a contemplation, of the sin

my concealment

was from myself, my heart

which led – to this,

this joyless voyage

a race with no end

ill equipped for the raging winds

of infernal ocean storms

battered, beaten, torn

stripped of hope and safety

for so long now

all that remains, just to keep afloat

a dreaming memory

drowning, drowning in this swirling madness

losing the voices

voices I can no longer reach, much less hear

 

(some months later, after more of the more)

 

I can not go forward

I can not turn back

I am drifting, I am lost, stuck, spinning

I can not turn around, to where, to end

lost at sea, forever bound in my circles, wound

shall I succumb sweet wife?

shall I sink ?

shall I drown drown drown

simply, drawing me down

the only one left,

the only boat left

the only one

the lonely – one

(may you find my notes, my plight and forgive me

my sweet wife, my children

I can not brace the world and return to you

“it is finished, IT IS THE MERCY”)

notes… this is very story specific in the details so I encourage you to learn more, the last line is the final quote in Crowhurst’s log that they found on the boat just floating by itself…

musical musings…

Mind Funk “Drowning”

this band never got the due they deserve, chill out an listen to it, the bass, the slow build, the rising vocals… crescendo baby, it works… “if you killed the world today …. I wouldn’t miss it” …

Simple of mind

Simple of mind

by David Koblentz ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
aquatic beautiful bloom blooming
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So of course the unofficial end of summer has come to pass, to be honest for me this is just another week, I do not have a pool to drain (labor day weekend is usually the last day people keep their pools open, in these parts at least), I actually worked yesterday so it was just my normal one day off weekend (that’s not a complaint, that is just how my job rolls (over me)), the traffic didn’t seem totally out of control, in fact I made it to the office on time (a 26 mile drive that can take from one hour to two… yikes, that I will complain about…), anyway, a server blew up around 4:30 and I got stuck working until about 8:30pm this evening, again, it is the job I chose so… (can I still say it sucks sometimes though? ok, it sucked today…) but anyway, here I am at my keyboard, sort of drained from the waterboarding of work today… just looking to post some simpler thoughts, just ideas, maybe not even complete (or my better) works, but that’s ok, you might not notice the difference anyway… besides I liked some of the ideas, this is not a beauty contest, hopefully it is just a glimpse into my mind for understanding, mine or yours, you have the menu, so order something up amigo !

5/31/18

O’ moon

master of the tides

are you yet tired?

As you gently roam

the sky

waxing and waning

rising and falling

living and dying

tied to the tides

but in the sky

alone, roaming.

5/31/18

dissipate

into particles

disappear

out into the cosmos

retain consciousness

spared

spread among the stars

I am the milky way

I am a galaxy

finally

expanding

eternally

“legacy” 6.1.18

when I pass

will these words remain

in a book

on a page

kept alive

for posterity

when I am just

a memory

“broke” 6.1.18

how could I have been so wrong

how could I have been so wrong

not a mantra

not a song

but a dirge

I have destroyed all that’s worth

“place” 6.11.18

you’ve come to a different truth

where our love did not exist

please tell me

is there something I missed

“truth” 6.12.18

I would like

to loan you my truth

so you will know

and in return

please lend me yours

notes… not much to say here, just, I do like the ideas here, perfect? nah.  neither am I, or you, or anything (except Mr. Do, but that’s my opinion…)

music…

Simple Minds – Don’t You (Forget About Me)

hell, I am a child of the 80’s after all, to me this song is like the soundtrack to about 52 movies… nothing is more 80’s than this, and suddenly nostalgia seems to be a thing, but I was there… trust me, most of the music sucked monkey balls, but what was good…. was damn good…

On my porch again…

On my porch again…

by David Koblentz ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
leafless tree on grass field
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When 6pm rolled around I didn’t think I had any thoughts in me, well, I had thoughts but they seemed to want to crawl back into a comfy bed and curl up with my mypillow and just… not create – nap  but I could not (I was on call today for work.. and in short, it sucked for hours), so then after those facts I had dinner (as I usually do) and sat outside for awhile, just hanging out listening to the summer sounds (decompressing), distant kid voices, the occasional roar of an airliner (I am not too far from Newark airport after all), the din of insects, the chatter of the neighborhood walkers (mostly foreign languages), some dogs barking… I have to say it is cathartic, I recommend taking the appointment time (if you can) and just observe the space around you, especially for creative types, you can develop stories just based on what you see, so after all my blathering what I am trying to say is I did write… whether it is good or not ? meh… not important, I was in the moment, so like it or not, here was my shot…

9.3.2018

the summer seems to have lost some breath, some steam

as if she knows she is in the final stretch,

after just mere hours yesterday as I declared her death

she reared up in full form, regalia, glory,

with mighty vengeance

unleashing a torrent of gripping heat

and concentrated lens,

the type of day that makes waves

in the sight of asphalt,

the type of day barefoot burns,

necks bare red in a seeming instant,

no, this is not convection

she set this all the way to broil,

but here I sit in lovely aftermath

now that the sun has faded down

quickly drains out the wrath.

summer seems she is spent

but she will not go willingly –

as is all things.

“sunlight, because we see you” 9.3.2018

we perceive the sunlight as pulling back

when we are really spinning away, tethered to the land

we perceive the sun as rising up

when we are really hurtling toward, hidden forces,

those who do not believe

in something you can not see

take you for granted

every waking moment

Gravity and Time

they go about being

paying no attention to

us. the dust, the wind, the rain, evolution, airplanes, messaging –

all the same, to them

they were here, before the human show

they will see the epilogue, and a thousand more,

I wonder if there are forces out there

that they yet fear ?

music.. hmm, I love to post my damn opinionated musical selections 🙂

Eric Johnson – Stratagem

EJ…  I don’t know what to say, either you get him or don’t, too me he plays with “joy”, it is so apparent, just.. go see him in person, you will thank me, no ego, no hubris, the guy is just the baddest ass player but plays with joy, hard to explain, even with my damn vocabulary.

More thoughts from my porch…

More thoughts from my porch…

by David Koblentz ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
garden sunset sunrise lens flare
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I finally made a page for this “series” or whatever it may be, my attempt at just creating my art as it is on the fly, on spot, on my porch. But here is what I wrote tonight (well, last night since I am schedule posting this for the morning , remember I will never tell you something is new if I post it if it is not, I will always post my dates of writing same, that is just me because I am really trying to post me, or at least the best approximation thereof), when I post older stuff, you will know, does it matter in the long run ? probably not, but I am me and I will be Mr. Me all the damn time.

9.2.2018 “from the porch” (series)

so here I am once again

the hour is late august

no, early september

(although they speak a version of the same language)

ambitious leaves

are now beginning to fall

either precocious –

or tired of the season summer

and her beating heat,

I find myself staring

at the leaves of my japanese maple

knowing, but yet wondering

if they are even alive

in this still non breeze

this quiet of not quite night

I don’t even see any tremble,

trees barely seem alive

unless they are pushed and persuaded

their growth, seems to happen

in a different time

quit different, than the flow of mine,

hard to comprehend, understand

or wrap around my head, my mind,

I try to think of some clever metaphor

for trees,

my roots welling up, bolstering the pillar, of my trunk

branching out

the leaves, how ever do they fulfill

the sun, driving the hunger

burning the oil of chlorophyll,

but I wonder, what are my leaves?

obviously I am the core, the tree itself

trunk and branch

always there, in all seasons, even winter bare,

so what are my leaves?

are they feelings? people?

but what in my life do I have all

and then – none more,

so I suppose this is a failed metaphor,

failure, we’ve all worn the shawl

failure, even in words sounds so dire

but yet, should be as natural as the breathing air,

all the many species

that have come to past

and those that survived

not by a straight line

with a dollop of luck

or just a plain old long shot,

so flip failure on heads

on tails

you might just find

hope, even on summer’s end.

“on the eve of labor day” (porch series) 9.2.2018

I witness the world sleep walking

even the clouds seem crawling across skyward dreams

only one cricket seems to care with lonely declare

the once raging blaze of the fireflies in peak – is dying out

only a few embers remain here and about

the temperature has not yet quite broken

but soon enough will

yet in a way I still mourn

yet knowing you will return once more

but for me, this means one less,

a few leaves have already leapt to begin their slumber

once high above, now they are grounded

and I know it is more than mere gravity –

Newton my friend

who can think of the “g” word

without picturing an apple striking your head,

just a month ago

a rumor of snow would smack absurd

but now –

an inevitable sound

the rusty old plows

scraping down the street,

huddled inside

as our hemisphere

tilts from the sun

good bye my summer

may I be here for your return.

Dobbs Ferry, NY

Dobbs Ferry, NY

by David Koblentz ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
two person riding boat on body of water
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since my “rebirth” or “awakening” (or just realization to get my ass going) I am trying to look and observe to “find beauty wherever it may be“… beauty in nature, a flower, a bee hopping from one lily bloom to another, a child with their mother, a father teaching his child to ride a bike… but also in knowledge, there is beauty in knowledge learned and forgotten – even common knowledge that lies just beneath your surface eyes, like the very name of a place, how often do you think about the names of towns where you putter about in your little fishbowl of life, our turf, our own streets and yet the historical grounds of “why” in a name might escape the mundane every day, so, that is why Dobbs Ferry sang out to me and caused these words and subsequent thoughts.  So, you might be asking why Dobbs Ferry David ?  Certainly that seems like a prudent question from you.  I had work call me there this saturday, not the first time I have been and actually I have family in the town (hello Lottermans!), but it dawned on me how this little section of the Hudson is probably little known in the rest of the country (or world for that matter),  the first little tidbit that stuck in my craw was the actual name “ferry”, how soon we forget in this modern age modes of transport of the old days, but a ferry was rather important, so you had a dude named “Dobbs” who literally ran a ferry, and the the name just becomes common happenstance lost to the plowing of time across generations, but back to this area of NY, it is not very far from the city proper, but you might as well be on another world, a quaint little town on the river with stunning views, even in the colder months, just seemingly a forgotten stretch even for people who live just across the river (ahem, here in my mighty garden state).. so check out Dobbs Ferry  (there is a lot of history there – including revolutionary war stuff), I also get to visit Hastings-On-The-Hudson (the coolest looking fire department I have seen!) and Cold Spring (dutchess county wine tours people!)… and one of my favorite things up there is the Bear Mountain Bridge but I do not want to get too distracted from my original post (as I might be known to do).

a water themed musical thing…

Voivod – The Prow

From a photo springs…

From a photo springs…

by David Koblentz ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
abandoned black and white blurred background countryside
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

so, my friend inspiration, well, my guide I suppose, or maybe my muse, how should I know, even after 2 score on this earth I am learning I know more every day but with that I realize how much less I know of the world, so I am trying to “go with it”,  ugh, sounds like a slug line…  but I am trying to look at all the little cracks in the world and find words to describe and spackle the little spaces, so, with all this verbosity what I am getting at is I saw a cool photo (on a blog I follow) and words jumped into my head:

9.1.2018

ghost fence

your timber and frame

of shadow and rumor

memories

both sharp and faded,

spelling your stories

up upon the wall

how far you go back

depends on the hour

the tilt of your perspective

depends on the angle

or is this night?

an apparition ?

a ghost created by light

a photo negative

in my earthly sight.

musical cloak :

King’s X – the difference

a sweet acoustic number from my favorite album of all time.

Just… a quick thought (poem)

Just… a quick thought (poem)

by David Koblentz ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
fire and ice by robert frost
Photo by Ayat Zaheer on Pexels.com

I have lots to post, but being a weekend and a holiday, I am in the mood to be a bit lazy, forgive me (or don’t).

“just” 6.8.18

whatever roads I have taken

whichever turns I have made

these long miles

of my life

my thoughts

always return to you

I thought I was sure

I thought I knew

we would grow old together

but as it turns out

I’m just a fool

notes: and in all honesty … this poem is true.  How things change… how they change… and I do miss her so.

Switchel. heard of it?

Switchel. heard of it?

by David Koblentz ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
summer drinks drink still life
Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

What in the heck ? So, as I have mentioned before I work for an NCR affiliate (short version I fix computers in supermarkets)… so… I get to sample some of the latest vendor offerings they are trying to peddle/sell in the local area.  (I usually stick to trying all sorts of the new drink offerings).  Yesterday I was up in north jersey (township of washington), this particular chain always has some cool new items, so I ran across (this) and decided to give it a whirl…  I gotta say, (first learning what the hell Switchel is), damn tasty, I don’t like anything too sweet (and I am allergic to chocolate, side note, when I tell people that (especially the ladies) they almost look like a small part of them died inside – it’s just chocolate people! – I guess I don’t understand)… anyway, I had the maple/ginger one, I like tart/sour things (like kombucha) and maple syrup is not too sugary/sweet… pretty interesting taste profile on this thing (with a little ginger kick as well).  Check it out if you see it… or make some switchel yourself.

Howl at the moon…

Howl at the moon…

by David Koblentz ♥ 0 Leave a Comment
silhouette of tree branch under white cloudy skies during nighttime
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The allure of the moon is quite separate from the actual fact of the moon… (scientifically speaking that is)… I almost feel cheated by the knowledge of what it is, imagine looking at the ancient skies with ancient eyes… and the wonder therein, but then again we still know so little of everything (even if we think we know so much, so so smart we are – being here just a blink of cosmic time).  But the moon is still an AMAZING thing even when defined… this lonely rock orbiting us as we orbit the sun… think about how we compartmentalize that as fact but it should be… a wonder, a miracle, an amazing testament to the amazement of the universe at large (even in this one galaxy in billions).  So, take pause, look up at our loyal friend, and remember what is actually going on hence, this massive rock (compared to our tiny frames) bound to us by an unseen force (I mean … think about that for a second, do you question gravity ?).. All this because I decided to post a moon poem I wrote a few months ago… the more I write, the more I wonder what guides my hand sometimes, if you would ask I would say I am agnostic, if I would ask I would say I am looking but evidence points to something, I wish I had the answer – so I continue searching.

5/22/18

half moon

what is your intent

half lit

obscured in mist

 

hazy moon

what do you portend

what is in store

if my fate is read

 

ascending moon

rising high

shape shifting shadows

traces of eyes –

watching

 

hypnotic moon

you mesmerize

how long I stare

at this nightly sky

waiting

as you pass on by

a lonely witness

to my life.

close up of woman working
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

notes… pretty self explanatory on this one, I was not going to post about this topic, I had some weird ideas I didn’t float, I was going to post about posting posthumously (I mean, who would know if you lined it up/scheduled your posts?), I also had an idea to throw out about starting a blog called “My Way” where people could post videos of their daily commutes (if it doesn’t exist already that is, your commute(s) say things about the places you live in I think, I think it would be a cool experiment, so if you steal the idea – at least credit me)… driving home tonight was horrendous, ok, it should have been awful but I was in such a good place mentally (honestly probably thanks to this outlet), I totally forgot about the upcoming American holiday Labor Day and took the GSP… oy, what a  mistake, but I pulled out of myself a little piece of realization, put on some good tunes and just smiled through the whole thing, getting pissed or angry would have solved zilch, traffic is what it is, so I took a deep breath and just sucked it in, I tried to people watch and see who was mad, who was going to the shore (ahem, everyone), or who was just doing whatever.  I got some dirty looks, honked at (as if I could go through the car in front of me), and the full array of reactions you might imagine.  I can’t say I would react this way every time… but, I should because we have to realize what is important in life, what matters, what we can control and what we can not, I implore you to do the same, so the world is a touch more tame, you will fail, so will I, I would love to tell you how perfect I am and how to live your life, but that’s garbahhje (as I would say with my Jersey accent), make an effort, in your own way (find your own way),  and thank you for reading… my way.

concert musique partition cle
Photo by hermaion on Pexels.com

Musical accompaniment … ? some moon stuff (of course)

HumanMeshDance – Wet Moon

Black Moon – Cellar Darling

The first track is some deep ambient… from perhaps what I consider the best ambient album I have ever heard (so far)… maybe it was the time of my life, I don’t know, it resonates with me.  So turn it up or pop on the head phones / buds and chill (let your mind wander)…

the second track… well, I am going to see them in less than 2 weeks in Brooklyn and I am totally friggin geeked out about it… one of my new favorite bands  but a singer whom I absolutely absolutely love.. and she plays the hurdy gurdy like no one’s biz.