is the price of life forgetting your past existence
for memories are energy, and there is only a finite amount, sure, the universe is larger than what we can wrap our current head around but everything has bounds, everything has limits, what if there is only so much to go around, kind of a more physics way of approaching the idea of the Guf, a universal recycling program if you will, less ashes to ashes more us to us, obviously you were meant to be, you are here reading this, so that is proof positive, matter is not destroyed but relived or reworked, energy is the same, there is only a finite amount of material, and then pause on the cosmic odds, your life, my life, so strange to consider that stars actually did align for all this, the entirety of all existence is culminated in your consciousness, the grooming of billions of years, bodies in motion, the cosmos endless ocean, to produce that note, that wonderful sound of you, you were meant to be born and live right now.
given the prospect of being blind or deaf, I would not choose either, I can not imagine the world as other, I suspect it would be ‘better’ to be born that way then to know of the fruit and then be denied it’s sweet taste, how often do we ponder the good graces of the basics, sight, and more specifically color, something we all take for granted (not wagging a finger, myself charged guilty aside from moments of clarity such as this), just the idea of color is an amazing thing when you stop to wonder on it for a moment, and the mere spectrum we see is just a hint, a shadow really, of all the color actually out there, I suppose we do not tend to think of X-ray, infrared, ultraviolet and microwaves as ‘colors’ but they are in wave form just the same as ROYGBIV, but they are not recognized by our eyes by design, who knows what the future may bring if we leave this earthly thing, or become more bionic than human… maybe someone will be painting in microwave one day (and heating din din at the same time)… holding a prism and breaking light into a rainbow swath of ingredients, a hidden cascade locked in every light, except when the rain and sun meet, we marvel at those natural rainbows but what is color? visible light, if you look at a strawberry, it is not actually red, the surface of the berry is merely reflecting red light, absorbing the rest, that is what your eyes cast and catch, so therefore “strawberries are red” even when they are not, color is simply an interpretation of what an object is sending back to your optical receptors, but these calculations, happenings, actualities, we process millions in a daily breeze with no effort, just the sheer idea of color shows the sheer wonder of our creation and ability to sample the world provided around us, truly amazing, a palate built for our exact imaginations…
if I could reach out my hand, as a receptacle, a device, a receiver, across the entire world, and touch all cultures, would I gain the answers? I imagine – I can out stretch my hand, more astral than physical mind you, outward, into the universe, as far as my imagination tethers or allows, for surely I can not imagine beyond my own imagination, even though the cosmos must probe past those regions I can not fathom, if I could reach out toward and into that infinity, even just for a glimpse of that all reality, what would I see? would that knowledge satisfy my human curiosity or make it billion fold explode, I wonder, all there is to see out there, in between the dead space, space, like death itself a web that holds us all in, a trap we can not escape, but life persists, even in the darkest of dark depths explored, and that is just here, on this one little sphere, I wish I could know more else, other worlds, other selves, surely life is out there, how could it only be here? if I only could outstretch my hand and touch the universe as a whole, I wish, and I dream it so.
so behold, that bright marble, a miracle, just another globe in a pantheon of globes in a universe of spinning discs of light, glass encased perfectly situated ball locked in an invisible dance, trance, with a sun and her children spawn, in the outer regions of one tendril of a galaxy’s arm, all racing along a hidden path with purpose, the macro, from afar, a small blue dot winks on the horizon of the heliosphere, and zoomed in closer reveals, an ant colony scrambling about with seeming importance, unaware of perspective, distances so great that they can not be measured nor traveled yet we bustle about, about this marvel of a marble, and from the down here we look out, with our clever inventions and intentions, our human projections, so slight cast out into that great expanse, the art, the gallery of god, strewn across a canvas so massive we will never see the whole cloth, or even the fabric onto which this vision is projected, the strings, imperceptible stitches, the concepts, all tie time together and flow, we can not be alone, for just the ornaments on this holiday tree alone must have some sliver of this gift, this life, so many forms travel on just this little darling of a marvel, this fascinating rolling marble, suspended by magical natural forces, we take them all for granted as they blanket us in wonder, whether designed or natural happenings, the definitions of impossible are quite shattered by our mere presence, there must be more out there, if even we have not seen all the flavors on our own planet, the depths, the dark, the corners un-found or lost for generations, drowned in magma, locked in miles of ice unseen, how much has been before and how much more to come, we are but a footnote in the grand procession, the thrust, the flow, the river of life as branches, arms, reaching in every direction, even to dead ends and new beginnings, life carves through this valley forever changing the landscape as we ballroom dance swing around mother sun, destructive nuclear fire, that yet brings life and desire, our desire, to thrive, inhabit, love, all on this, the blue, marvel marble, floating endlessly in the sky, in space, a womb of the most precious thing of all, life.
in the dawn of man in the first of light our ancestors looked up towards the sun from there imagined past this life and now with all our knowledge since we look outward to the stars to find life past our own
notes… to me we always and still look to the sun, the light is a dominant force in our life, and yet we are just a little system out on the fringe arm of a galaxy among millions, we can see past our little neighborhood cosmically, how often do we really think about it in our daily life? perspective is an endless lens that asks questions. poem wise I was going for pace and syllables, seems silly playing among the stars… but it is what I do, to be me, or am me….
the one and only last of the kind the singular leaf left on the branch of an evolutionary tree *(1) born to dive where there is no light *(2) no ink to blot the story right *(3) a true blue blood but not a king *(4) with the largest eyes in all the realms *(5) can invert one self into a crown of thorns *(6) or display luminous blasts from photophores *(7) perhaps a dash and a sprint but no marathons happen at these depths *(8) even so with fearsome name and look no drop of blood shall pass *(9) this denizen of the deepest ocean feeds on falling snow *(10) the leftovers cascading down of the lighted world so far removed
1. The Vampire Squid is what as known as “phylogentic relict” (I know, say that ten times fast, excellent term though), basically this guy is the last surviving member or it’s particular order (or limb out on the ole’ evolutionary branch, there are many dead ends on these branches). The order that this creature is a part of is called Vampyromorphida (if that isn’t a name for a future horror movie, I don’t know what is, at least give me credit when you write it). 2. These buggers inhabit what is known as the Oxygen Minimum Zone which can have oxygen concentrations as love as 3% (by comparison you are breathing in about 21%). 3. This creature is sort of an early hybrid between an octopus and a squid, however, it can not spray ink for self defense. 4. They literally have blue blood, unlike our hemoglobin their blood uses hemocyanin to carry oxygen through their bodies. Of course blue blood is a play on human royalty. The origins of the term are quite up in the air but it generally stems from the exclusivity of royal blood lines (ahem, inbreeding) and actual physical appearance (you can see royal’s veins more clearly as they tended to stay out of the sun, the common folk toiled out in the sun, not the blue bloods). 5. Compared to body size these little guys have huge eyes, to take in any bit of light they might grab at these depths. Proportionally speaking they are among the largest in the animal kingdom. 6. When threatened the Vampire Squid will nearly turn itself inside out covering it’s head and showing off it’s spikes called cirri. The spikes are just for show though, no danger there (they are fleshy, check out the excellent video below all my blathering). You can say it looks like a ‘crown of thorns‘ which of course is a reference to the sacrifice of Jesus so I am inferring that concept here as the animals literally “turn the other cheek” so to speak. 7. Like many creatures at this depth they can project bio luminous displays from organs called photophores. They can also eject a bio-luminescent mucus full of orbs like a mini fireworks display. However the metabolic cost is high as food is so scarce at these depths the creature would much rather swim away. (and footnote I had to correct the term to photophores from “photo-spores”, my bad, I make mistakes, it happens, but either way it rhymes with thorns… so… there) 8. The squid has relatively weak musculature so it can only swim off in bursts so it relies more on trickery and strange trajectory. It can not maintain top speed for very long at all. 9. Even with such a fierce name this is quite the tame beast, definitely not some bloodsucking denizen of the night as the name might suggest. The name was based on how it looked (which probably helped it survive this long). 10. “Marine Snow” is a term for all the organic junk that floats down from the surface area. The younger squids most likely feed mostly on this, as they get older they will feed on any detritus that might drift on by, really not much different than the snow.
the one and only last of the kind the singular leaf left on the branch of an evolutionary tree born to dive where there is no light no ink to blot the story right a true blue blood but not a king with the largest eyes in all the realms can invert one self into a crown of thorns or display luminous blasts from photophores perhaps a dash and a sprint but no marathons happen at these depths even so with fearsome name and look no drop of blood shall pass this denizen of the deepest ocean feeds on falling snow the leftovers cascading down of the lighted world so far removed
notes… so this is another I will annotate later when I can make all the cool footnotes and such as to what I was thinking and referencing, see if you can decode it all, I packed this one in, but as usual it is how I wrote it in one sitting, I’m strange that way, when inspiration takes over, that is, now onto the music, deep and heavy like the squids, unique and strange… so take a deep dive my friends….
and another year one and done in this instance nineteen but what do numbers mean there is no actual count as time wraps over and between time stops not to pause a line constant drawn
and so another year’s end approaches, one and done in this case nineteen, but what do those numbers even mean, we are not on the actual count, or the actual clock, some four billion and nineteen certainly would be hard to print on a credit card, or a calendar, I suppose we would find shortcuts, clever humans that we are, something like happy 4 BILL and TWENTY, and so drops the ball, over and over, just a different crowd, changing eyes, funny how the phrase “dropping the ball” is a negative connotation unless you are packed in like sardines in some square at the proper times, and then it is celebration (one I have never subjected myself to even though I am in the neighborhood), but anyway, back to my distracted point, the chinese calendar will be 4718, the hebrew calendar is 5778, wouldn’t logic dictate we go with the oldest? do we even question the year, 2020, a fraud by any count, or a real count, or should we determine the birth date of lucy and start from there? just an example of the subjectivity which becomes bedrock in our everyday lives, sunrise, sunset, when neither of these are actually happening, how soon we forget, how soon we learn but are we really aware, as dawn cracks yolk along the horizon, that we are spinning toward that light, feet tethered to the ground by an invisible force, just our normal course, there seems to be magic inhabiting science after all, or maybe physics is just the definition of magic, something like that, either way, as the world turns, a certain number of times, quite precise, with one leap of an exception, various degrees of tilt, we arrive, 365, one year later, and so here it is… happy new year one and all (and you).
Thanks to all and any who have read my words in my little space here in the cosmos of context in this online multiverse…
erudite in the language of the sun conversations with solar implications warming rays fade in my waning days might I stride along your cosmic road and sit stridently still upon your shore to witness in glory bathe and full force waves strip instant of my magnetic core and for once before my skin burns tender flesh for the absolute briefest moment might I instead experience the form that binds and breathes of all of the universe as neutrinos speed through – and – passed
notes… kind of playing around with various concepts, sometimes I just think about things like what it would be like to walk up to the sun to experience the full on force, because I marvel at how the Earth survives in such a harsh environment, if we weren’t exactly X distance (give or take) from the sun, had enough water (comets?), had a strong magnetic field (which creates the aurora borealis) and one huge asteroid decided to land in the Yucatan and wipe out millions of years of dinosaur rule…. that and some sweet lovin’ that went down by my folks and their folks before them before them before them etc…. wow, it is crazy to think about all that had to happen in the universe just for me to be here typing away on my blog… so, yeah, that’s the space I was in writing this… in case you were not wondering… thanks, as usual, comments, likes, spitballs, old tab cans and general flotsam is always appreciated (except for you, the one reading this, I’m kidding of course… or am I? (raised eyebrow provocatively) ) …
what if…you could meet god (in whatever fashion, design, form or belief you believe in), and could make a deal where every time your physical body dies you would be reincarnated as another sentient humanoid (or close thereof) being – therefore never truly dying forever, the catch? you will have no memory of the previous being but you will persist, in some form, forever, on various planets (in the sheer vastness of this universe – or perhaps another) or wherever this god creation cares to place you on. So, in a sense you guaranty your survival, but you lose this, this you, your individuality and awareness. Do you make the deal ? or maybe you have made it already… Is losing your individual nature, this collection of things (experience mixed with your time), is this just death dressed up in just another coat ?
I must admit I find myself pondering my mortality probably more than I should, I mean, after all it is life’s most vexing question is it not? I have not found a sufficient solution in the house of religion, and frankly religion is certainly created by man, most surely fallible but not guaranteed wrong (if religion works for you, awesome, I have absolutely no problem with that, and perhaps I might be jealous of your relief/belief at the end of the day), I am certainly not an atheist but the possibility that we are just a random creation from a pool of physical laws, unfortunately, I can not dismiss that entirely, I just don’t know, I do not have the answers, and I doubt I might ever find one satisfactory (although I must admit I hope I am wrong on that count). E=mc^2 I must say this always felt like a glimmer of hope for me, a scientific raft in the sea of the unknown as it were, The Law of the Conservation of Mass, so therefore I will never disappear fully in that sense, if that makes sense, there will always be a part of the universe that is me, but will it be ‘me’? it is a bit daunting to ponder but if one of the basic laws of physics is a start on this path maybe I can approach god and broker a deal for some reincarnation… just what type is where the bargaining might have to begin… but if there truly is a god (and I hope there is), god will already know my price forthwith, and outwit me in such negotiations.
Shades of My Garden 