not haiku…

not haiku…

abstract blur bubble clean
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spring rain
in a cemetery
brings life


notes… written tonight while I was watching the punisher on my exercise bike, yeah, inspiration works like that, I say ‘not haiku’ because this is clearly not in the strictest form, but if you are really into the form it has a feel about it, to me, this has the feel, of course you are the judge, jury and likes-a-cuitioner of that.

music?  have to recall some odd ball…

Fugazi – Long Division

yeah, that bass line just rules you, admit it.  they had integrity before it was cool. years and years ago….

Mirages of the mind.

Mirages of the mind.

photo of person walking on deserted island
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wandering

in the fog of my existence

in the distance

I think, I think I see you

making out your form

tracing you with my eyes

standing there

are you watching?

waiting?

for me to finally kill my soul

the singular formality

of all that is left of it all

so to be that sacrifice

for a moment

to give

just to be sure

that it is you

standing there


sometimes it is your heart that plays tricks, which is truly the vessel with which you see things ? or is it a symposium of the mind, heart and eyes… or a want for that perfect grail, that simple carpenter’s cup that can heal all? (I wrote this poem originally 6.18.18)

Simple Sunday Thoughts…

Simple Sunday Thoughts…

midsection of man holding hands over white background
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“inspire”

might I be the knife
to pierce that veil of night
walking through this daily life
lead others into that good light

 

photo of man standing on rock near seashore
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“speculation”

is that you, in the next car?
or in another land
another shore
maybe just within my reach
or not near at all
but never far
from my thoughts
never far, my love


notes… sometimes I like simple, especially as I get older, I could get all weird and technical on you, or esoteric in my writing, but I am really enjoying the simple things more these days, be it the sun, the moon, the dance of a squirrel, there is the miracle of life all around us, I’m not saying be unaware of the dark corners of this world, just don’t forget the amazement around you in even the mundane, at least that is what I am trying to do and bring.  (I wrote these poems on 1/18, Friday)

Music tonight? thanks for asking…

Minus the Bear – My Time (live, sort of acoustic but amazing)

When the parents are away…

When the parents are away…

women holding shot glasses
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“house party”

the adults have left the room
the logic and morals swoon
a fever sweeps the floor
criminality in personality untamed
raid the liquor cabinet they say
the freedom of a free pasture
the parents are away

invite everyone you know
you’re in control
they invite everyone they know
that control relents and runs
out of control
but you have never been this popular
amazing what you will take
to feel like the king
even if
you do not notice the fleeting
those who praise you now
and drop beer cans on the lawn
raid the drawers of your mom
leave stains on the floor
smoke indoors
but for a moment you are king
with your parent’s things.


notes… lighter fare for a weekend, a stormy one at that (well at least here!)… have we all done the house party thing when the parents went away? I did, just once, and it was enough, certainly bad planning as I had to call the cops on myself!  yech…  so many moons ago, but I do remember those times quite well. I wrote this one back on 12.8 because I saw a beer can on a lawn on the drive home… the randomness of the muse is amusing.

to think, we are all star material (molecule wise)…

to think, we are all star material (molecule wise)…

person sky silhouette night
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12.26.2018 “goodbye”

not from the stars do I think judgement comes
as the sky changes by forces rung
but as I examine the sky tonight
I notice one missing, a closing light
as in stars we might not know
the light we see or how old
but eventually with distance lens
even the brightest must meet an end
and all folds back to cosmic dust
to return to life on the cusp
and once again form another
from the same constructive endeavor
but only once ever a star is born
never the same as it was before
materials remain but have no soul
for that we turn our inner eyes
to find love, the eternal sign


notes… strange to think we are stars, but surely we are, more important than the hollywood ilk, we are surely cosmic beings in construction, and all this we have built around us,the distractions from all that, these little things that are chains of amino acids walking led to candy crush? who knew… do I overthink things? probably… but I am fascinated by how we got here, the process is almost overwhelming to ponder (almost… 🙂

the first line is a call out to some guy named Shakespeare (specifically sonnet 14), I like the old classic stodgy poets as such, just my thing, I enjoy the ring of their cadence (Milton, Shelley, Byron, Dylan to name a few).  just my thing.

Music… Minus the Bear – Last Kiss (live acoustic) “I can’t believe it ends this way…”

I see things in motion…

I see things in motion…

photo of person walking on deserted island
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12.25.2018 “generations”

so, the wave has begun
the first domino has fallen
a generation has come
to begin an end.
I have seen the wave coming
off on the horizon
everything seems so far off
in the inevitable ocean
but so soon crashing upon the shore
this is the way of things
for we are mere pillars
rock fashioned of sand
drawn down and back into the surf
from which we once rose
in and out the flow
just life
for us to suppose
and follow, as if we have a choice
but we pretend
to have some modicum of control
ever looking at the horizon
and the coming waves
as they come for me
surely, some day

might I be aware
and enjoy the warm rays
bright bouquets to grace the peaks
one more time
upon the waves
that carry my soul away
to some other place
I hope
to some other place
I pray


notes… as I stated in an earlier post, I have been spared death more than most, but that will not be so anymore, and I sense it, I hope I have the strength to relent it and continue on, in the pattern of such things it becomes difficult to reconcile self worth, or more plainly my life’s worth upon this earth, there is no accomplishment any of us can make that will satisfy my view of the world, so I just have to fall back on faith, and fate, and the two combined will be my future, I know what that is but do I accept it ? do I quit? or do I fight and meet the same outcome?  these are the thoughts that cross my mind.  There is so much to life, so much, that needs to be the focus but I must admit, I struggle.

The battlefield of life.

The battlefield of life.

black steel helmet near black and gray handle sword
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12.21.2018 “upon these fields…”

upon these fields of lore

where the dead shall walk no more

where the perilous battle fought

when all souls they will succumb

under sword and under feet

their blood remains within this earth

 

upon these fields of lore

those before me shall walk no more

nor haunt these fields

with voices still

ghosts only in the eyes

of those remaining here

 

as another shall pass

from this ground to the greatest of halls

I mourn for this one I know too well

for walk this path we all shall know

and mourn the death in the time to come


dedicated, with love, to my uncle, Samuel Goldberg, may you find a righteous endeavor in the next life.

Barefoot feet (indulge me, dance, frolic)

Barefoot feet (indulge me, dance, frolic)

barefoot feet” 7.29.2018

I read an article, that suggested, we walk around with barefeet, to feel more connected to the earth, I’m not sure, but worth a try, first things first, I notice not everything is as smooth as you and I may think, a driveway, a sidewalk, full of kinks and angles, so used to shoes to smooth these out, not particularly painful, just an odd sensation compared to the old sensation, and then there is the grass, a seeming tickling epiphany of senses, fibers reaching hands to massage my toes and between, heels feel soft with deadened blows, on this green carpet ride, (I try to forget the bugs) or dirt underfoot, I imagine – just the sensations.

I am taken back, to my youth, I quite remember well, being a little barefoot devil, I guess I did not know ‘better’ then, or care rather, (memory), especially the shore, the beach, I could not wait to emancipate my feet from the burdensome shackles of flip-flops and race across the scorching sands into the quenching surge of the tide, twisting my feet under the surf, until I felt the danger of no escape, of being pulled under further, the cool sinking quick sand enveloping my toes, my soles wiggling, chasing crabs, kadima balls, flying kites, digging holes to nowhere, all under the watchful eye of summer sun all the while making my neck red, all the while with no shoes

barefoot feet, I suggest, you give it a whirl, travel back in time, in your mind, to simpler things, where shoes were a mere nuisance


This was written in response to an article I read from Laird Hamilton, sure, he looks amazing for his age, I found it a little presumptuous but also interesting, the great thing about an open mind is your store is open 24 hours for new customers to come in.

note: this is what I call free form, there is meter in there at times, at times I am just talking to you in my mind, the words… they just come out this way, especially this one since I had to go back and transcribe this from one of my journals… man my handwriting is ass… I think I captured the gist of things mostly, but like all of life I won’t hit a home run that often or every time… just have to keep stepping into the batter’s box I suppose.

The reality of life (hits)

The reality of life (hits)

selective focus photo of gray metal folding walker
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Generally speaking I am a very easy going fellow, an optimist, a lover of life, and frankly I have had a pretty easy life compared to many (and I do need to remind myself of that more often perhaps), but sometimes, life, puts you in situations you KNOW about but don’t want to dwell on or even think about the reality of same… Today, was one of those days.  I am keeping the details slightly vague but specific enough so you get the gist of it.  I received a call about a certain relative that could not get out of bed (they are getting up there in age), I was on my way to work but of course as dedicated as I am to my job (admittedly probably too much) a family flush does beat a straight job in the poker game of life, well I essentially had to carry them from their bed into the bathroom, and to be blunt their bladder was not listening to their mind (you can fill in the rest, it was not pretty. I can only imagine the embarrassment on their part when you live your whole life and now need help for the basic things), oddly, none of this hit me at the exact time, I think I went into “nurse” mode and just did things instinctively, later on the whole scene had a much greater impact on me and is sort of stirring around in my head (not in a particularly good way), I am trying to process this into the positive realm because I really believe in that…  So what’s my point in all this ?  To cull your sympathy ?   To share what maybe others are going through and not talking about ?  Maybe…  but I think if I boil everything down it comes to love.  Tell those you love that you love them, time is limited, be thankful for life every moment you can, sure, you will fail, I sure as hell do, but I work to make that my goal and walk in that direction (sometimes distracted, sometimes focused), put love out there, sounds almost pollyanna-ish but what’s the alternative ? the older I get the more things seem to come down to the simple things we all inherently know but may not always practice moment to moment, and maybe that is a lesson to… practice… it won’t make perfect but practicing the good will at least focus some positive energy in that direction.

I didn’t think I would write anything today, I am quite mentally exhausted because besides what went on this morning work has been absolutely brutal this week… but more brutal than confronting the aging and dying of loved ones and what that looks like ? nah…


Blessing 10.4.2018

divine sunrise
thankful for this life
greeting dawn
at first light
the privilege mine
to awake
with these eyes
and see.
thankful for this life


notes… if you read all this, thank you, stories, comments and vignettes are always appreciated.