notes… written tonight while I was watching the punisher on my exercise bike, yeah, inspiration works like that, I say ‘not haiku’ because this is clearly not in the strictest form, but if you are really into the form it has a feel about it, to me, this has the feel, of course you are the judge, jury and likes-a-cuitioner of that.
Driving home last night, something I do all the time, ahem, obviously… but the sky was so that the road was framed in, and spring, not quite here has lent a bent to the trees (or perhaps the way they were cut to avoid the power lines), so for some reason the trees seemed to be menacing, hanging over the road almost ready to strike, or more accurately swallow me whole, as the daylight dimmed and I drove towards oblivion I scribbled this in my journal (and as usual this is barely edited, damn I can barely read my own handwriting sometimes so I have to guess)…
a tree broken back over arching the roadway branches like ten thousand black talons in a witches’ bent lifeless, dangling, a photograph – a trap! driving this street mind racing a gauntlet of these gaunt creeps lining both sides all seems closing in the horizon light contracting to a point I am cornered. like ichabod in that hollow on that bridge cornered by what this night may bring
music to accompany (I know, worst band name ever but…)
note the ongoing synth throughout, like a heartbeat in the melancholy, to me this mixes ambient/electronica with doom metal, but yet there is layers… brilliant. the video is pretty dull but the tune rules…
Short works that is (what were you thinking?), today was my typical horrendous commute but the sky was this orange/pink linear gradient into blue (and I had my tunes so I was certainly more chipper than my fellow travelers, I often concoct stories in my mind based on their cars and posture to pass the grind), I took some photos out of my dash with my phone but at the moment my motivation to post said photos has waned and passed, so take my word for it, an absolutely lovely hue rising above the tangled concrete mess (almost taunting), some windows open, blowing smoke, the lovely gas containers of Elizabeth (which you may have seen in the Soprano’s intro), I have worked 9 days straight and somehow I feel like I lost an hour somewhere, not sure, but anyway, here are a couple of simpler more singular numbers, enjoy…
single seagull soaring over head destination unknown perhaps the shore she does not tell how will I ever know?
I have never found anyone else because I have always been looking for you.
perhaps this is all we are meant to see all encompassed in a living dream for on our death we truly wake on to the eternal scene.
notes…wrote these back in November, not that you care but I always like to post when I wrote something, not sure if it matters in the scheme of things (OK, it doesn’t) but damn me and my promises (I might have tweaked a note or two here and there)…
musical recommendation ? (and I thought you might not ask….)
Groovy ambient, more active than passive and lots of bass… I find it great to get work done, pushing out the noise of the world to bang on the inner sanctum of intellect, but hey, that’s just me, let’s grab a beer…
Sometimes I like to be plain and simple, this would be one of those times, could I write some confusing lines and be all mysterious? sure… but I’m just not that guy much anymore…
the rose that blooms still blooms when you’re not there
the rose that blooms still blooms when you are gone
“driving scene“
minor hills covered in snow like a postcard from above
notes… (ah I just can’t resist dissection, that’s just me, get used to it) poem 1 is sort of a different take on the old “if a tree falls in the forest thing“, maybe it didn’t start out that way but after it wrote itself that is the way I felt about it, poem 2 was literally just some lines that popped into my head as I was driving to work, both these were written 2/15 and are exactly as I wrote them (no edits), I am usually an in the moment guy (well, in terms of my writing)… man alive I should really make myself be that way in everyday life and interactions… I am trying, I am on the path, I want to be outside my birdbox (i.e. without blinders on)… am I so strange in this aspect? I often wonder.
oh! magical jelly bean I strike out to find your whereabouts to track you down legend laces whispers that you are all flavors rolled into one truly a concocted dream of Wonka want might I find you… in a guessing jar? will you look familiar or are you a solitary star snuck among the common pebbles for common tongues oh! magical jelly bean my quest for you… has just begun !
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com
notes… there are times when I have no idea what is coming into the view-master of my mind, so I pull forward on the one armed bandit mech anyway and see what it brings, I labeled this canto 1 for a number of reasons, but primarily because I might come back to play in this sandlot, I have other ideas of where I might root around and search for this magical bean…
music, going geek rogue here again… one of the most overlooked video games (to me), complete package, skill, game mechanics, music, graphics (for the time)…
dear god, all this you already know (so why am I writing) and all I know is a fraction’s fraction I am an atom lost in the vastness of your soul how can my mind meet yours and understand blueprints physics a grand architect’s plans
you blink – one billion years I blink – from the mere light of a single solitary star we orbit the earth tilts and still we are so far apart but am I a part of you? the divine spark, is is true?
written way back in july of last year (edited tonight), I never know why I release these when I do, just whimsy or as I always say, the muse informs me, I am not particularly religious but respect those who are… and those who are not, if one of you has the answer to this life, I’m game, but I am also a skeptic (with an optimistic bent), I have a true love of life within the realization I surely can not know the answers to the everything, I used to be so sure, then I settled on “it’s ok not to know”, I am more in the “I surrender” to the universe phase now I suppose, I am trying to live life the right way, for that to be my light, I am not quite making the grade but I am on the path, as they say, I hope my thoughts can inform others to just pause and be better, you will fail, I fail, but make the effort, yes, in the end it might mean nothing (in pure honesty) but making no effort also leads to nothing… so pick the better alternative and plow forward my friends.
music... since I am in a musing mood… some spacey ambient (I know, not exactly original of me to post stuff like this… but I always post whatever I am into at the moment!)
and HEY! if you have some cool ambient I should check out.. let me know, I am always looking for new things to groove to, but you never know what will spin my widgets (what’s a widget?), I was listening to a bunch of old school metal this week like Six Feet Under and Meathook Seed, as well as some Vivaldi.. yeah, I am a strange bird, flightless, well… maybe…
I could post about the new Game of Thrones trailer (OK, I am totally amped for that) but this is not that post, winter is not coming… in fact it is fading but surely going out with a roar here in the garden state, however among the storms we are trying to dodge, and snow that surely makes my morning commute an absolute slog – there are signs, this morning I heard it, the song of spring, the birds that had gone are back again, not in full force, perhaps just an expeditionary crew to lay the ground work for the re-population of the summerlands, I have come quite familiar with the sparse chirps of winter (cardinals mostly and finches well), this morning there was more singing in the choir (I stopped to pause) even with the temperature dropping, the sun seemed stronger, or perhaps my eyes have learned to harvest yield more of the weaker rays, either way, this morning was different, and so was last night, the day is starting to stave off the night, the endless battle swings in our favor…
somehow the night sky somehow retains the blue as if midday or the afternoon the clouds viewing by in celluloid panes mirrored on the fresh snow upon the ground below melted, slightly until this night drops more and breath rises still stark limbs, still out-reached still searching for a conclusion weighed down in corners with tufts of white instead of leaf and yet the sky seems bright a trick of my mind perhaps and no moon yet in sight somehow – the night sky, tonight
(this is related to my previous post, quite by accident, or circumstance, or the whimsy of the muse) Oddly enough, as I woke this morning (better than the alternative), when I walked outside to observe my ‘get in the car go to work ritual’, there was a mad amount of noise afoot… crows, in trees on both sides of my street, so this wrote itself (I suppose I can take credit, the pen was in my hand, but sometimes it feels I am just a cosmic means to an end…)
a gathering of crows in twin mirror treetops bookend my block angular shadows pasted up against naked limbs screaming, toasting, celebrating I think of an irish wake and then on a wink, on a wing unison, sync, they fly away on to the next barker’s perch
This Wednesday was one of those ultra blue sky days that almost makes you forget about the cold (almost), hard to erase the visual impact of the season with all the trees with no leaves (well, besides those damn taunting pines and evergreens), stuck in the mud of the mind numbing vortex of traffic known as the NJ Turnpike, watching those more impatient than I dart in and out of the lanes like mad little minnows in the shallows looking for a perfect spot in a lake of no destination, only to advance a few mere feet… (and I admit to a ‘little’ pleasure as I pass them staying in my lane and my ‘subtle’ dismay (grrrrr) when they pass me driving like kamikazes), but anyway I have learned to (ok, mostly) calm my mind among this grind to think of higher things, observe nature even when corralled by this asphalt and steel shackle laid out before me, and so I wrote this in observation (in of course my horrendous handwriting which I had to decipher tonight for this post…)
a formation of crows an arrow, greater than, forward framed, in a cobalt sky, winter underneath human congestion coagulates jealousy, flies away, east
sometimes nature does the work for me (she’s good like that)
like a swarm of pine there is the science of ice look at my windshield
Sometimes I like Haiku, this would be one of those times, the Japanese have a knack for, well, some straight up weirdness, but also for being a crucible when it comes to poetic form.
MAME game of the moment : Strider, yeah I am a retro gamer geek full on, with a tankstick, hey, I work hard, I need to decompress sometimes without the nature bug, the snug feel of an old game, a time machine, that brings me back to my youth, which I still feel young but surely am not, in relation to those times, we can only relate to what we have done, experience is a very personal thing.
music ? sticking to the retro game thing… here is some Bit Brigade, they rock out to old nintendo game music (which I grew up with), they play the background music that would be on as someone plays the actual game… I know, super nerdy, but that’s me (vid games AND guitars ? hello?) !
Shades of My Garden 