Sometimes it is just a breeze…

Sometimes it is just a breeze…

wind grass beach sea
Photo by Life Of Pix on Pexels.com

8.23.2018

standing in your standard parking lot, I park far away from the other cars (as if I drive some sacred fancy chariot and not my actual car), and then the breeze hits me, one of those breezes that goes right through you, not like a chill, but with a comfort, the perfect temperature, just slightly cooler than the cooling late summer day, a temperature of balance, of perfection, a comforting hand that makes you take pause – and a deep breath, it seems we wait an entire year here for mere moments like this, an unorthodox equinox of our lives as they tumble through the gauntlet of nature’s whim, our lives spent, on the phone, rent, work, online comments – all in an instant leveled (or revealed) by a simple summer breeze, so I pause, to take it in (it would seem boorish and rude to do otherwise given the circumstances) and then, back into life, injected back into the “real” world.


black ball point pen with brown spiral notebook
Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

notes… I don’t live in the tropics, I don’t live any place particularly warm, warmer than some parts I suppose, I am closer to the north pole than the equator, and I suppose it shows, but I wanted to capture the moment, the feel, trying to do that more now, I would say I don’t know why, but I do, because I am alive, and I cherish that fact, maybe my life is not everything it was “supposed” to be, maybe I am a disappointment, maybe it doesn’t matter, maybe just enjoy it.

 


low angle view of lighting equipment on shelf
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

musing music… a super group I bet ya never heard of:

Platypus – Blue Plate Special

This is an instrumental but just oozes with groove and blues… and the playing is next level, considering those players involved it is not a surprise…  sad, things like this go by the wayside unheralded gems unheard gems… well, until you spied my blog.

Summer Rain.

Summer Rain.

shallow focus photography of water droplets
Photo by fotografierende on Pexels.com

I would ask… no, I would require that you load this video prior to reading… it will put you in the exact moment I was done writing, I was huddled outside my house in the rain, trying to find a place to not get soaked but more importantly not soaking my journal, my papers… while I wrote… how often can you be this close to the creation?

summer rain” 8.22.2018

I do not know if I can quite explain

the smell of summer rain

but it is something I have always known

different from driving storms

different from drifting snow,

almost like a lake

green and musty

full of earth and soil

dark gray skies

yet full of hope

I look up through the trees

following trunks as guides

the leaves shake like a web of shadows

but joined with no intrigue

no ill intent

just in between portals to the light

and the falling wet

drops, louder now,

you know the sound

instinct telling you to run

but… why?

this is just summer rain

bathing the landscape

relief

from the scorching summer sun

this is not some violent tempest

a roaring electrical fire

of crashes crackles and pops

this is a loving womb

enveloping and rebirthing life once more

at least for a time

at least for a respite

this is the scent of a sigh

from up within the ground

all the animals are quiet now

listening,

listening to the sound

of this, summer rain,

how the breeze infuses, and passes through

carrying on, passing on, the sound

just minutes spent, time has moved on

the scent remains

barely still

the summer rain.


notes… I went out tonight with my folks and my brother to Old Man Rafferty’s in New Brunswick NJ (amazing place), oddly, I remember when the place opened (during my tenure at Rutgers), it makes me feel old but at the same time complete, New Brunswick was certainly no peach when I went there, Johnson and Johnson made the town into what it is now (a mecca really), my parents, in their failing health, it hurts to watch them walk around, they want to not be old and just be people, but that is not reality, life catches up with us all, we all don’t want to think about it, who does, but it is there, I wonder about my future, it is so easy to assume you will be well.

Simply Saturday…

Simply Saturday…

clear glass window with brown and white wooden frame
Photo by João Jesus on Pexels.com

Another week passed, another post after my last, this seems like a pattern but I am determined to make it all different, I am going to lay back and post some simple works, such as they are, the older I get the more I seem to want to boil things down to essence, if I can find it, I guess the grind of life has taught me that we don’t need all the ribbons, sashes, and long eyelashes , the goods that makes the cake is the goods in the bake people!  we all know it.. do we all live it ?  I am making an attempt and am certainly not above reproach, so approach these works with that thought, and thanks for even reading this.


half moon and silhouette of trees
Photo by Philippe Donn on Pexels.com

bother” 4/23/18

why bother

when I know it is you

searching

searching

all the while

pretending

all the while

moving on, as they advise

but always to know

they are never you


beach beautiful boulders calm waters
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

4/24/18

what is the difference

between a rock and a boulder

I guess I do not know

I suppose

how high you must go

a mountain, a moon

perspective


for you” 6.1.18

I’m sorry

if you only knew

I would change everything

but only for you


6.3.18

I have conversations

with you in my mind

I wish you could hear them

I hope you understand

I should have been more honest

at the time


notes?  nah… not this time.

music? eh… OK.. how about some classic metal/tribal stuff that doesn’t get the credit that say “walk this way” does in terms of style breaking…

Sepultura – Ratamahatta

hells yeah this gets me going… plus the video is cool as hell…

seduction…

seduction…

green leafed plant on drinking glass with ice and water
Photo by Oscar Mikols on Pexels.com

you have me, on the rocks” 8/4/2018

the ice melts, so suddenly

your eyes melt me, so subtlety

your voice, a symphony

the words – no matter

composed

of such sweet notes

the nectar of honey bees

the sound hones

the buzz slides across my lobes

revelrie

dance me in a daze

and I look lock gaze

the fierce fire

of your eyes

burns me alive


notes… is there a person, that one, that can just melt you with their eyes?  put you under that spell?  that you just connect?   I guess I should consider myself lucky that I did have that once for some years, and perhaps look forward to it again should fate shine her little light onto my tiny patch I’ve carved out of the universe’s darkness whole, I can only hope because the alternative is definitely not of hope.  I posted a word with “middle english” origins because… some of my favorite works are of the time. Specifically I am referencing two things Heloise and Abelard and also Alexander Pope (I won’t say he is a hero of mine, who knows such things, but an inspiration ? and a fantastic poet ?  yep).  Note the last line of Pope’s poem (sheer brilliance imo):

Such if there be, who love so long, so well,
Let him our sad, our tender story tell;
The well-sung woes will soothe my pensive ghost;
He best can paint them who can feel them most.

music… yeah, I am big on the music, I am so….  currently obsessed with Anna Murphy, so this song fits…

Anna Murphy “Lovelornia”

her vocals are transcendent, it really makes you believe as an artist that talent is out there stalking and taking down prey (for all of us to consume)… all for us to enjoy, so go out there and look for it… additionally I am always looking for new music, so if ya got something ! tell me dammit!  I only have so many hours of so many days to search on my own, while I am a great excavator a little help is always appreciated my friends ! Be well all!

Lampreys and the Theory of Simplicity.

Lampreys and the Theory of Simplicity.

lamprey

Often, well, more often these days I am trying to look for the simple things, the little things, the beautiful things… all around us in everyday life.  Nature brings us so many of these things (including ourselves / humanity itself).  So this brings me to my toothy friend, the Lamprey (often improperly identified as an “eel” which is way more evolved…oddly).  This strange little thing, a marvel of engineering really, has been around some 300 million years on good estimates (based on the fossil records). So… this strange little blood sucker with barely developed systems has been around longer than us by a long-shot… Humans.. the pinnacle of everything? hmmm ?  Just some perspective (we have only been around an absolute fraction compared to these slimy little bastards). So I felt like posting just some of my simpler poems… to communicate a simple thought, or feeling, or moment… sometimes I am just a simple one minded thing latching on to something for dear life.. and other times I am matryoshka doll…  life is like that, I am trying to unpack my dolls within dolls and just be my core for all the world to see… we’ll see…


5/31/18

I can not express

in these words

what life is

to be

without you

(*note: this is my version of haiku, I think it encompasses the feel of the form)


5/31/18

in length

I am a rope

bound together

in knots

frayed ends

holding on

tied

together

(*note: another haiku feel for me… at least but also I was kind of also calling EE Cummings)


5/31/18

runways

maps for planes

lights at night

to guide

lines of sight

grounded flight

(*note: haiku feel… damn I said that already… but this was specifically about Teterboro Airport which I pass all the time driving home or about the local town)


stairs” 6.1.18

I am at the bottom of the stairs

no recollection

of getting there

I look up

spotlight shines down

sitting

do I attempt

to climb my way out?

(*note – I wrote this in my basement, here in the northeast US we have “finished basements“, essentially totally another level of the house underground, I was doing some sit ups and looked up the stairs… hence the thrust of the poem…)


6.1.18

happiness

you were once a confidant

a neighbor

a friend

a lover

and now

no longer


simple line” 6.2.18

I point

there is life

there is death

your only disagreement

a single breath


support” 6.3.18

bridges built

bridges lost

bridges burned

I drown so fast


6.18.18

you are my flower

to plant

to water

to love

my treasure

to love

forever


Notes… as always I appreciate all feedback… I welcome criticism.. in fact I invite it, I want to be beaten up because I do not have your eyes, your ears or your mind, I am not looking for acceptance or sycophants, I am confident in my own dome, this, my home of words, but I want to understand other people’s land that their voice is planted on… because how else can I grow… if I do not know what else is out there in this virtual planet?


Music ?  I thought you would never ask…

Phillip Glass “Glassworks”

you have heard his works before, you probably did not know it… if you did know, well… kudos my fellow traveler.

Not posting

Not posting

I thought about not posting tonight.. I am pretty tired,  I tallied my hours at work and I am about at 74 for the work week… and I am on call tomorrow from 11-10. Not complaining… just explaining, but inspiration does not rest… and really neither should I, I have to live it all because that is all I have (or any of us)… it seems weird to think about it that way but… that is the reality, I am trying to be the better me, the me I know is in there but I can’t say I am succeeding… I wonder about so many things, especially when I see documentaries about all these amazing places (like my last post)… am I meant to just be stuck here in the US due to circumstance ? but yet… I lead a comfy life compared to millions so does that make me greedy that I want the means to explore the nooks and crannies of this amazing planet ? (and yet not even having explored all the wonders of my own state, let alone country or my great Canadian friends to the north or our friends to the south in Mexico?) I suppose this is all rambling… but I wrote something tonight, on my exercise bike, which is annoying hopping off and on, I was watching more Ireland stuff and the words as such… came to me as they do…


“the song” 8.12.2018

might I come to know
the song of birdsong
filling the hills and valleys
all the warm season long
might I learn their politics
theories
and secrets
surely they have tales to tell
of wind
of wing
grazing on trails and tracts
some travel far and wide
yet while others are humble local guides
might I come
to know their tongue
speak the language
the song as sung
might I come to know
the song of birdsong
and take to the air
dare to listen closer more
to the notes
the composition
the hidden meaning
natural symphony
unfolding, informing
transforming
take flight
become
a part
of the ever living
listen to – the birdsong


music… Toad the Wet Sprocket – Is It For Me / Nightingale Song (live)

You know a band is good when a live clip is what kills… Toad is criminally underrated in the scheme of things imo.

Gravity is a toll road.

Gravity is a toll road.

person holding a chalk in front of the chalk board
Photo by JESHOOTS.com on Pexels.com

Often I think about how we fill our minds up with ‘stuff‘ (thank you George Carlin)… How easy it was to be in the blissful cross-hairs of youth.  Innocence is just one of those things that can not be put back into the bottle (as much as we may try).  I used to feel a sad pity for those with special needs but now at times I am jealous (to an extent as a mental exercise) that they can exist in the perpetual bliss of unawareness.  Sure, I would not be who I am if I was not self aware… but the pull of that other option, the temptation is certainly there.  Self awareness and in my case overly active brain is tiring at times… maybe that is why when I am on vacation I prefer a lonely beach so I can pretend that the waves are washing away all the crust the world has built up upon my hull…  but it takes a toll… how much? We will never know.  But if you do… I would love the answer, please tell me so… so I can truly rest before the true (final) rest.  But I suppose, like everyone I will just be out there sailing the seas of thought seeking islands of legend… and then one day running aground near some nameless forgotten port, sinking, absorbed into the shifting sands at the bottom of the ocean of time, my particles to become the building blocks for some other creation… be it animated or not, a crab perhaps but I would hope for more…. but like all else I am not in control of such things.


simple observation” 6.10.18

children playing

children’s smiles

making up games

rules are loose

shoelaces

made up races

I miss the whimsy of youth


notes on the poem: I wrote this in a rest area on the GSP… (like many things), a couple and their kids had unloaded out onto the picnic area… and just… the kids did what kids do, making games of the world, amazing, I miss that.


musical accompaniment…

for whatever reason… this piece came to my mind:

Jean Sibelius – Symphony no 5 in E flat op 82

I like the peaks and falls, and the quiet parts…

empowerment, truth.

empowerment, truth.

afterglow avian backlit birds
Photo by luizclas on Pexels.com

huntress” 6.28.2018

diamonds like daggers

adorn around her form-

she scans the room

prodding, invading

with a mask of guile

throwing around

intoxicating smiles

they do not stand a chance

unwittingly lining up

to be picked up

like fruit from a tree

to which to whet her appetite

to which delight

and all in the while

they pretend

they have some measure

of control

when there is no doubt

she has it all

not even a game

not even remotely fair

just a moment

before she springs

her snare

and suffocates

the coils wrap

she takes the air

and all she wants

she simply, casually – takes.


Notes… am I past the swoon of a beautiful woman?  sure, I could try and be cool smooth internet guy and lie that I have not been led by my eyes (or something else residing lower).  But as you get older (hopefully) wiser… you realize (hopefully) that there is beauty in so many places other than obvious pleasing visions.  Beauty is nice, it is a lovely component but it certainly does not mean a person is better… and it is all relative. Which would you rather have .. beauty or happiness ?


Music.. I can’t even put into words, how much I love this…  Tori, she is just brilliant… and live a revelation…

Tori Amos – Upside Down (live)

Still gives me the chills after all these years.  true art my friends.

Find beauty… everywhere, stop, look – do it.

Find beauty… everywhere, stop, look – do it.

gray wooden bridge
Photo by Ketan Kumawat on Pexels.com

8.3.2018

finding beauty, wherever you may go”

I don’t quite live in the city. I don’t quite live in suburbia. I exist somewhere in between. I pass by lots of concrete but also lots of leaves (this time of year, at least). Back to my point, my thrust… You should find beauty, wherever you may go.

A speck, something to upturn the day. A face – in a cloud, A face – in a crowd. A child’s smile, a child’s laugh, a child crying. Often if I hear a child crying I will smile (wait… hear me out)… For I was once that child, it is the purest sound, of life. For I was a child once, not so long ago (at least in cosmic time). Crying over something simple but we are just larger children now, worrying about larger things. But what is the difference between a switch of licorice and a mortgage ?

I saw a stream by the roadside. I should have stopped when spontaneity threw it’s hook out. I should have pulled over. But I did not. But I should. To find beauty in a moment. I truly should… endeavor to find beauty, wherever I may go.


Notes… I have posted some photos recently on this blog (you probably noticed)… I am literally trying the above, but not just photos… with my words, we will see how it goes, I want to focus on life… because I am alive now!  we all feel immortal, until…


Musical selection ?  here is how huge a geek I am…

Lindsey Stirling – Zelda Medley

I can not tell you what a dopey smile that brings to my face… the hours playing that utterly iconic game… but check out her other stuff, awesomely talented player … and she covers all sorts of the geek realms..

cupid, my friend.

cupid, my friend.

statue church amor cupid
Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

“love comes a knockin’ ” 8/3/18

Cupid,
my old cherubim, my old friend,
you are looking worn
and tired
but you are back again
stubborn fool
I thought you knew
knew me by now
and why I rule you out
out of my house
my friend
nice to see you
but I must show you the door
even though
I know
you will call again.


notes?  nah… this one is pretty easy to dissect…

music though >? hells yeah!  more obscure stuff as I feel (know) I am an encyclopedia of music (something about my claptrap impossible mind holding all thoughts)…

Second Self “Red October”

Great tune, no traction in the factions of the populous though…  My cousin Renee turned me on to this when she worked for VH1 back in the day (I remember so distinctly her handing me the CD in the cellar of that house… I don’t know why it was so vivid, it felt like an inside job… some band that was supposed to be huge and I was gifted this CD before release… before the internet), tell me the chorus ain’t catchy and I will think you don’t know music… ok, maybe I won’t be THAT harsh… but c’mon now!

Comments and thoughts are always appreciated… and criticism is even better honestly. and to be honest… this is the lesser of the pieces I wrote today, the others were much longer and will take longer to transcribe (from my terrible hand writing and having the time), I am trying to find some way to post in a more consistent manner… more in line with my writing, as I can find… some track, some path, I am just creating.