the living scar might you take a stroll and walk with me a while tell me your ills tales of woe broken wrecks upon these bones so let us stroll down these miles through winding paths all the while your soul’s despair sitting on a bench for contemplation under the stars for this map has been tread upon landmarks marked in the charcoal drawn paces met to trace a start I’ll lend you an ear and reveal all you’ve taught so, let us talk
notes… nah, I don’t feel like it tonight, I think this one is self evident, besides I am on vacation this week… off to the poconos, local but oddly I have never stayed there just driven through…
“tired jaded by the sun must recall the rush of life in all forms and regain the wonder the miracle forward”
notes… just something that struck me, life has a routine to it that we get used to, but we shouldn’t forget how amazing it is that we are actually here, at this moment, I try to hold on to that, that amazing fact…
taking this moment to study and enjoy the subtle-ness and suppleness of this cool breeze, letting it caress me, wrap itself around me, swirl undress me to my core, while still clothed, how this wind in my hand allows me to wind down, the gears, to a grinding rusty sparking halt, to full inhale and breathe deep, to realize the world has had me wound going at an accelerated pace, all day, for no real rational reason, I suppose this is manifest stress destiny, allowing your gears to be flung wide west open to please the demon of production, of work that is never done and will still be here long, undone as I am off into the next stage of life, how easily we get wrapped into the tow throng of the assembly line, I suppose it is all in the deft trap of routine, the schedule, the drive, the morning coffee, the vacant hellos to some, the longer hellos to those that know you, or at least know ‘the work you’, and those that are actually friends outside the confines, the walls all determined by time cards and paychecks, a structure construct, the contract codex of the workplace, the pace, a race, to nowhere or upwards rung for more money less time both in years and in life as time forwards by, the gears shift seamlessly and to all speeds, speeds by so rapidly without seams, no fun mondays blur into wtf wednesdays to gateway fridays and weekends relief, the summer is gone and I barely had time to admire her smile, warmth, and sun, I do not miss the bugs however, to sit out on nights like these, this comforter of a breeze, much cooler than has been, not enough to chase me in, or out of my shorts, my toes are growing cold but I still prefer bare-feet for now, the dew on the lawn is certainly cold, not a foil anymore to a blazing sun’s gaze, but for at least a few more precious days I can pretend to feel what the summer was while awaiting the growing cold, such is the nature of things, such is nature, the pace is the same, year in and out, the seasons roll in and out, the rest of the natural world flows as the river natural goes, but do we ?
(part of my porch series… which I try to keep up with, when it happens but the page is not always 100% up to date, but I try my best when I have time, so thanks in any regard..)
a wheel is not just a circle there is structure there is spokes there is direction paths and roads
notes… strictly a writer nerd thing here, ever just right something and totally forgot you wrote it into existence ? yeah, this is one of those, just something like a common sense poem, a throwaway of sorts, simple and short, like haiku but not…
a prayer to know when is the time to surrender to life when is the time to conquer this life and to then know and tend the vast grounds between
a prayer for the small birds whose confidence I can not seem to garner for may they find what they need in this coming barren season although there is no need for I see them every spring
notes… for those who might be new to peruse my blog, I use ‘prayer’ in the non religious sense, if you want to use it in the religious sense, cool, I have no problem with that, I think everyone looks to the sky at some point and asks for something sometime, I was an atheist once upon a time but these days I want to believe there is something else but have to accept the possibility there is nothing and I will simply disappear from all existence when I am gone, there is no hope in that end, so I choose hope over logic in that regard, does it quell my mind and fears ? no… but it is better than utter despair, so that is where I am at, prayer is not a harmful thing, try not to make it selfish, I think that is the right ring… (and I do post other ‘prayer’ works, check out my collections & series page).
the sky is the portrait of a blaze, moments like these there are colors that are difficult to even explain, like flames of deep reds and purples blending and lurking on the horizon, I might imagine how this all looked as I look back with an ancient eye, clouds, white clouds, like angels racing off to the battle, the blaze, the hordes of the underworld that await, the unearthly glow, for what else could this site be? just some random formation of moisture, a construct of nature, weather conspiring to ignite imagination, why lose the spectacle of this all, indulge in the genesis of how stories unfold and are told in the night sky, but not every night, not every night is the show such as this, not every brilliant magenta hue is seen dancing as the curtains of night unveil,the sprites of streaking white angels dive off into the narrowing event horizon, as that lone beacon rises, only three quarters full but bright as any moon recorded, and before a moment’s breath, the clouds are gone, dipped and passed somewhere out of mortal sight, lost to the lands of kings and gods, seemingly swallowed by the ever motioning night, the grand scheme of color carousel has faded out, just the moon, with a spurious eye, casts light from up on down, a reflection of the sun upon the face, ever looking down from that lonely space, the night watcher compels… sleep.
notes… part of my porch series, the sky just had a certain look, for only a few minutes, I pulled my car over, and the muse planted a seed, and it took, and grew into … this…
enamored if my words were silk sheets wrapped around your naked skin sultry eyes, captivation luring time as clock hands spin step outside my own dimension desire two makes one by my own extension hairs on end at attention
notes… a slightly different tact this week kind of like last week but not, remembering the absence of presence, waking up every day next to her, seems like someone else’s dream these days and certainly not reality or my own memory anymore…
erudite in the language of the sun conversations with solar implications warming rays fade in my waning days might I stride along your cosmic road and sit stridently still upon your shore to witness in glory bathe and full force waves strip instant of my magnetic core and for once before my skin burns tender flesh for the absolute briefest moment might I instead experience the form that binds and breathes of all of the universe as neutrinos speed through – and – passed
notes… kind of playing around with various concepts, sometimes I just think about things like what it would be like to walk up to the sun to experience the full on force, because I marvel at how the Earth survives in such a harsh environment, if we weren’t exactly X distance (give or take) from the sun, had enough water (comets?), had a strong magnetic field (which creates the aurora borealis) and one huge asteroid decided to land in the Yucatan and wipe out millions of years of dinosaur rule…. that and some sweet lovin’ that went down by my folks and their folks before them before them before them etc…. wow, it is crazy to think about all that had to happen in the universe just for me to be here typing away on my blog… so, yeah, that’s the space I was in writing this… in case you were not wondering… thanks, as usual, comments, likes, spitballs, old tab cans and general flotsam is always appreciated (except for you, the one reading this, I’m kidding of course… or am I? (raised eyebrow provocatively) ) …
“each and every step is a battle in a fight in which gravity will eventually win.”
notes… gravity is the weakest force, think about it… you, a lowly human can lift your feet, you can lift a rock or anything else within reason, but gravity is the epitome of determination, erosion, like death, gravity always wins…
in terms of the poem I was going for staccato form… from the drop of the word ‘step’ it is on a metronome beat.. you can count the beats if you like, one one thousand, two one thousand…. yeah, I think about that stuff sometimes….
what if…you could meet god (in whatever fashion, design, form or belief you believe in), and could make a deal where every time your physical body dies you would be reincarnated as another sentient humanoid (or close thereof) being – therefore never truly dying forever, the catch? you will have no memory of the previous being but you will persist, in some form, forever, on various planets (in the sheer vastness of this universe – or perhaps another) or wherever this god creation cares to place you on. So, in a sense you guaranty your survival, but you lose this, this you, your individuality and awareness. Do you make the deal ? or maybe you have made it already… Is losing your individual nature, this collection of things (experience mixed with your time), is this just death dressed up in just another coat ?
I must admit I find myself pondering my mortality probably more than I should, I mean, after all it is life’s most vexing question is it not? I have not found a sufficient solution in the house of religion, and frankly religion is certainly created by man, most surely fallible but not guaranteed wrong (if religion works for you, awesome, I have absolutely no problem with that, and perhaps I might be jealous of your relief/belief at the end of the day), I am certainly not an atheist but the possibility that we are just a random creation from a pool of physical laws, unfortunately, I can not dismiss that entirely, I just don’t know, I do not have the answers, and I doubt I might ever find one satisfactory (although I must admit I hope I am wrong on that count). E=mc^2 I must say this always felt like a glimmer of hope for me, a scientific raft in the sea of the unknown as it were, The Law of the Conservation of Mass, so therefore I will never disappear fully in that sense, if that makes sense, there will always be a part of the universe that is me, but will it be ‘me’? it is a bit daunting to ponder but if one of the basic laws of physics is a start on this path maybe I can approach god and broker a deal for some reincarnation… just what type is where the bargaining might have to begin… but if there truly is a god (and I hope there is), god will already know my price forthwith, and outwit me in such negotiations.
Shades of My Garden 