Just something that caught my eye… all the textures mixed together, nature does the work, I just stumbled upon it… metaphors galore if you will, or shall…
just some internal site housekeeping…
- Updated (and re-organized) the Collections and Series page
- Updated the About the Author page
that is all…
lost. love. letters.
a slightly different tact this week, lost love? to be sure, but perhaps a bright light to disarm the night, to lead forth into the day… perhaps, such is the gift of remembrance at times…
“butterfly“
I saw a butterfly a wandering
circles in flowing long loops
in patterns somehow familiar
so long has this been
for I recognize in this, her
this many years
was this my life in that other lifetime
like a dream embedded in my memory
your dropped note
and all that was is now at my front door
my first love
before I knew what love was
all wrapped in new circumstance
the warm naivete of innocence
ah, I feel it now
sweet jo where have you been
that different life tangent
what could have been
and still this feels the same
I remember well our time
even if your name has faded
from my every day and days indeed
your note brought this all back
holding your hand
your gentle touch
the electricity conducted through
oh my first love
how have you been?
so many possibilities
on life’s divergent path
has crossed ours once more
if only for a chat
notes… my first real love sent me a note recently, it was quite unexpected and out of the blue, amazing to have something still stirring there inside after all these years, buried somewhere deep in the years of me but not gone, I was just a kid but I remember distinctly so much, she fell asleep in my lap as we watched TV at her mother’s house, I felt she trusted me fully at that point and it was just a life affirming moment, little things, it is always the little things that are the binding… and the things we miss…
reincarnation : a compact with god
what if… you could meet god (in whatever fashion, design, form or belief you believe in), and could make a deal where every time your physical body dies you would be reincarnated as another sentient humanoid (or close thereof) being – therefore never truly dying forever, the catch? you will have no memory of the previous being but you will persist, in some form, forever, on various planets (in the sheer vastness of this universe – or perhaps another) or wherever this god creation cares to place you on. So, in a sense you guaranty your survival, but you lose this, this you, your individuality and awareness. Do you make the deal ? or maybe you have made it already… Is losing your individual nature, this collection of things (experience mixed with your time), is this just death dressed up in just another coat ?
I must admit I find myself pondering my mortality probably more than I should, I mean, after all it is life’s most vexing question is it not? I have not found a sufficient solution in the house of religion, and frankly religion is certainly created by man, most surely fallible but not guaranteed wrong (if religion works for you, awesome, I have absolutely no problem with that, and perhaps I might be jealous of your relief/belief at the end of the day), I am certainly not an atheist but the possibility that we are just a random creation from a pool of physical laws, unfortunately, I can not dismiss that entirely, I just don’t know, I do not have the answers, and I doubt I might ever find one satisfactory (although I must admit I hope I am wrong on that count).
E=mc^2
I must say this always felt like a glimmer of hope for me, a scientific raft in the sea of the unknown as it were, The Law of the Conservation of Mass, so therefore I will never disappear fully in that sense, if that makes sense, there will always be a part of the universe that is me, but will it be ‘me’? it is a bit daunting to ponder but if one of the basic laws of physics is a start on this path maybe I can approach god and broker a deal for some reincarnation… just what type is where the bargaining might have to begin… but if there truly is a god (and I hope there is), god will already know my price forthwith, and outwit me in such negotiations.
observational poetry…
trying to capture a moment, a feeling, this is one of those, perhaps a bit specific, but maybe not so slender to not deliver the scene… I wrote this one quite a while ago and forgot about it in my little book (OK,USB stick I carry on me which I transcribe my poems onto… not as romantic as the pure written word, but it is honest I suppose…)
“biography”
stopped to fill up my tank
mercedes sl parked
hardtop on
mid 80’s I speculate
paint faded by the sun
almost gone in spots
flat tire
driver’s side
my old boss had one
(I think to myself, recalling)
we had to load up the trunk
in winter
to drive straight.
clean my windshield
pump is done
time to get back
back to work
so I pull off
into the street
right turn.
notes… some very northeastern us stuff in there…. and in New Jersey we can not pump our own gas (yes, seriously) so you have time to look around and contemplate life at the ole gas fill up type place…
thoughts from the porch…
how these elysian fields have lost their glaring luster, however foolish, the world desperately clings to the intoxicating golden hue of summer, for remember, there is always hope in any order, the only matter is how hard hope may be to find in the given time, as leaves fall so do the obvious possibilities, but let our memories remain stronger and more resilient than the harshest of winter’s arsenal, as the season fades so we shall rise again, of this I am quite confident, at least for now…
I had forgotten the sounds and the real feel of dry breaking leaves on my feet, how when I hold them and fold them they crackle, like a fire, as a fire burns through fuel is spent, as are these leaves, crumble into near dust at barely a subtle crush, the glorious summer sun drained from these veins, soon to be remade into the very dirt from whence they came, some time ago, acorns survived not found by ambitious squirrels, allowed to bloom, grow, stretch out toward the sky and transform the light of the sun into food, over and over these years, to be right back here, starting all over again, cards on the table now ready to fold, awaiting the next game, all the cards the same in the pack, however the shuffle never remains identical, the game, the game goes on until you lose your spot at the table… that is not this day, this is just the sunset of one season, the transfer of life back down from heights, to bury once more in the womb of the mother of life, this earth, as this hemisphere tips another will catch the fire, the balance of scales must tip, and this one must lose in hours, no many how many times has been, no matter how many times will be, the shedding of the leaves, a process, a tribute, a sign, a portent into the coming months, so we should gather up these leaves of memories, absorb them into our essence, like a thick blanket, to prepare for that barren land, that barren time, life may slow, and temperatures may drop, but the fierce heat of the human heart and that of life itself, dares not stop, if not draw still, biding time for hope to will.
music to read by : Opeth – Coil (live on TV)
a poem as a vessel…
“faint“
a long forgotten candle burns
flickers… slowly, in silence
in the dark
crater crowns a mound of melted wax
shapes the form, sunken
barely moving shadows trance
in the corner
of a long forgotten chamber
notes… I call this “vessel poetry”, meaning I am intending to be vague so the reader fills in their own details, sure, this could be taken at pure literal (visual) meaning, that’s cool, I did have a literal specific picture in mind, kind of a forgotten grey wood cabin with no windows that light still comes through all the old lines in the wood, in the corner some old candle ready to die on a silver plate with one of those ring handles almost like a mug, next to a dead fireplace with dead embers… but I also thought about more (and specific things) when I wrote it… what did you think about ?
weekend “prayer” poem…
“a prayer for release
from my burdens
might they transform
may they become
maps not anchors
on this singular sea
a buoyant seed, gifted
drifting
the only one
I am granted
to reach that new world
upon that shore
of whispers told
a land of hope”
Note.. I will make a page to link to all my “prayer” poems soon, work was crazy this week after I was off for seven days, but I am back in the groove I think, although I work all weekend so I am holding on to my vacation vision in my head and the space where I was at after living in a different space for a week, I have to admit I am slipping in that regard, sometimes it really pays to take a deep breath and in your mind travel back to your happy place… sounds dopey of course, but it works…
Musical selection… dystopian punk rock… haunting if you ask me… so ask… yes, this is haunting…
a simple thought (poem) from observation…
one tall reed
looms so far above
one tall reed
looking on down
all below
one tall reed
but all alone
note…. literally looked outside my car window and saw one reed towering above the others, the words came in a wave from the muse, so I wrote them… let nature speak to you, she has a few things to say, and the wisdom of years to wait…
music to groove to: (so glad you asked)
lost. love. letters.
“I have lost her“
I am the saint to my sins
the almighty absolver
unable to bend the knee
and forgive
for penance does not placate the past
nor clear the tomes, so written
let the sky fall
let the stars drop
down up from the heaven
break onto the ground
for, I have lost her
let my blood dry in a dead river bed
let my last breath escape
prepare my soul for departure
for, I have lost her
with such clarity
after all this wandering
a clutched mirage
might I lay down and rest now
let my mind release
for, I have lost her
note…. my weekly nod to the romantic side, a side that has been waning but is always hopeful
music… King’s X – Goldilox (a lost 80s rock ballad but some get it… have you ever seen an audience sing the whole song? and this is what it is like at a KX concert over the years)
Shades of My Garden 