fire in fire pit
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I can not wash, forget, forgive or absolve my mistakes, sins and regrets. They wear on me like a poison, an eventual death, certain. But even with that – you must know, I must tell you, with desperation, as life fades with every moment passed, that I will love you – always, time and distance has not healed nor forgotten nor dulled, and now may you know this, you will be the last name on these lips, the last gasp of my air shall be yours, the last sound I hear, my last thought on this earth, will all, all be of you, as I pass, my love, you will be all.

notes: in some strange or even perverse manner I am speaking to her, in my mind, like she can hear me, if she is even the same person anymore, or am I even, or does it matter, maybe I am speaking to a memory only, I just need to speak to something, maybe somehow in the mysterious ways of the universe, maybe she can hear me or feel my sentiment if in even just in the evening breeze for a brief moment upon her skin…

lost. love. letters.

lost. love. letters.

woman s face
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a slightly different tact this week, lost love? to be sure, but perhaps a bright light to disarm the night, to lead forth into the day… perhaps, such is the gift of remembrance at times…

I saw a butterfly a wandering
circles in flowing long loops
in patterns somehow familiar
so long has this been
for I recognize in this, her
this many years
was this my life in that other lifetime
like a dream embedded in my memory
your dropped note
and all that was is now at my front door
my first love
before I knew what love was
all wrapped in new circumstance
the warm naivete of innocence
ah, I feel it now
sweet jo where have you been
that different life tangent
what could have been
and still this feels the same
I remember well our time
even if your name has faded
from my every day and days indeed
your note brought this all back
holding your hand
your gentle touch
the electricity conducted through
oh my first love
how have you been?
so many possibilities
on life’s divergent path
has crossed ours once more
if only for a chat

notes… my first real love sent me a note recently, it was quite unexpected and out of the blue, amazing to have something still stirring there inside after all these years, buried somewhere deep in the years of me but not gone, I was just a kid but I remember distinctly so much, she fell asleep in my lap as we watched TV at her mother’s house, I felt she trusted me fully at that point and it was just a life affirming moment, little things, it is always the little things that are the binding… and the things we miss…

music… “Shot of Love” (acoustic) – King’s X

Sometimes it is a feeling…

Sometimes it is a feeling…

woman with orange manicure
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“remember” 10.31.2018


I press two finger tips

up upon my lips

to recall the sensation

or an approximation, of your warmth

the static electric spark

of the interaction of moist skin

mine on yours,


across the heavens mass pulls, gravity

the weakest force, so I’ve learned

but nonetheless, grants me

instinct strains the moorings

morning clocks another day


miles stretch, thoughts confine

memories looked at linger

simmer inside with the guilt

reading history to replay

to overcome

to fill, to feel, the gap

that is – between.

A romantic offering…

A romantic offering…

love couple sunset sunrise
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upon the power of” 11.14.2018

your sweet breath upon my ear

the soft heart whispers as you near

for as the light, illuminate

for fair fate

with mine own eyes

have tendered the more

even as winter is drawn, closer

my hearth glows full with warmth fire-born

with outstretched hand I reach

as our love endures

burns, as a quantum star

to power the forever eternal light

you, my love

you, my life

Notes… I reference a quantum star (aka naked singularity), so I am playing with some concepts there (science, time and gravity). but even such magnificent stars have a lifespan as us all, but my short eternity will be hers, because that is all I know.

Music (I am a plucky sort)…

No Woman No Cry – Bob Marley as covered by Thomas Leeb (finger style guitar)

Stephen Marley was supposed to play tonight in NYC.. and I surely wanted to go before snowmaggedon hit us… 555 accidents reported in NJ to the state police in the first 2 hours of the storm… insane, I actually stayed at my office in Hackensack until 9 (I snuck out down the street (on foot sorry for the poor bastards stuck in their cars – been there) with a coworker for some Cubby’s which made all the difference tonight)… all that said it still took me until 11 to get home, I’m beat man… hope you like the post, if not, I’ll suck it up and come up with something better (well… hopefully but I am an optimist after all). And if you read all this ramble, hey, thanks (pretending to shake your hand, or tip my cap, or raise my glass, or sacrifice a live goat.. woah.. calm down now…)