sometimes nature does the work for me (she’s good like that)
like a swarm of pine there is the science of ice look at my windshield
Sometimes I like Haiku, this would be one of those times, the Japanese have a knack for, well, some straight up weirdness, but also for being a crucible when it comes to poetic form.
MAME game of the moment : Strider, yeah I am a retro gamer geek full on, with a tankstick, hey, I work hard, I need to decompress sometimes without the nature bug, the snug feel of an old game, a time machine, that brings me back to my youth, which I still feel young but surely am not, in relation to those times, we can only relate to what we have done, experience is a very personal thing.
music ? sticking to the retro game thing… here is some Bit Brigade, they rock out to old nintendo game music (which I grew up with), they play the background music that would be on as someone plays the actual game… I know, super nerdy, but that’s me (vid games AND guitars ? hello?) !
notes: wrote this back on 8/22 and revised it today, time has a way of moving, it seems obvious of course, but as you age you realize the ninja aspect of time, time sneaks up on you, you blink and can’t believe where you are in this now (and how much has passed, I can almost divide my life into different lives), of course time is just time, it does what it does regardless of what our personal self importance wants to bend it too, time is always a constant even if our perception of same is more like a roller coaster rising and falling, peaks and valleys, maybe I need an internal tick-tock to hear, as a reminder, every moment is a moment closer to my end whether I like it or not… that immediacy should be coursing through my veins, but it is not, I have become comfortable, and I should not be…. perhaps it is evolution for us to seek safety, I am trying to fight my own nature…
music… a beautiful acoustic piece that I truly love… to the point…
truth is like a box of chocolates, ummm… nah, that one sounds a bit too familiar for some reason so I will forgo it, thinking about it, truth is more like a perfectly formed square clear plexiglass box, a novel little thing that you can hold in your hands (just big enough to trigger a two hand response but you could hold it in one hand if you endeavored to do so), you can not inherently change it (no matter what you do), however, you can choose to do many things to suit it to you… to hide it behind your back, or take pictures of it for disbursement, make copies and call it the “real thing“, the truth remains however, you may even hold it at a certain angle so only part is visible, or at a different vector to show off one aspect of this cute little plastic box, but the truth – has not changed, you may lash it to a pole and smash someone in the head with it, maybe you hide it somewhere knowing someone will find it later, perhaps it is up on a ledge just out of reach, or just around the next corner, maybe you do not even know what it looks like, on a map X marks the spot, or left alone in the yard, half grown over with ivy, bury it for one thousand years in sand, paste glue popsicle sticks all over, hand print paint turkeys on the side…
but it remains, a simple box, square sides of even dimension, clear plexiglass from all sides when revealed, the truth.
“truth is what holds our feet to the very ground (whether we like it or not).” – me
“truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light” – GWash (some guy who founded America)
“Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance.” W. Clemrock
“Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things.” I (the original apple) Newton
maelstrom
the divine path
might I lead,
divine wrath
I might reap,
the divine spark
to light me through
this fierce storm in the wake
in the pursuit of the only grace
I surely fail
as humans break
as does my will
at times will fail
for all that drains my strength
to find the well that springs again
my faith
notes (this piece was written 1/21, comments today)… faith is not a particularly religious thing for me, we all believe in something, even if that is ‘nothing’ in the case of atheists, I am perfectly fine with both sides, why? I came to a calm in my mind some years ago, I know I do not have all the answers, am I more confident than some in my beliefs ? sure (I am trying to lose that). but I acknowledge the effect of ego and my experience on that belief. My belief does not bring me total comfort per-se as I am in limbo but yet there is some respite there in capitulation to the fact that I do not have the answers, how arrogant it would be for me to look down on those who have found theirs, god could be a goat named bob in wisconsin for all I know, and for all I know I will only be here a blink, so, I should not waste my time judging those that have found peace, so bless you all in whatever form that takes, me, it is just the universe, being alive, being in nature, but I am glad the human brain has the capacity to make movies for all movie goers (I just wish the floor wasn’t so sticky).
music> ? Yeah, I am all about that! here is some acoustic goodness, how this song never became big is beyond me… (of course Summerland (this is a fan cover, with passion) is my favorite song of all time)
I made a pact with myself, when I started this blog, that my goal was honesty and personal growth, part of that movement in the nation me is to actively notice things that I see everyday and check them out (instead of passively passing them by), essentially we should see beauty every chance we get, and I also think history is beautiful, there are ugly moments, sure, but history is a vehicle in which we can gain experience without having to live through something ourselves… and learn. Even in a country as new as this (in the scheme of thing’s america is very new) we have plenty of history, especially here in new jersey. So saturday I decided to check out this place I have driven by hundreds of times…
I have mixed feelings about the place, I like that it is a little enclave in the middle of major roads (Route 4, 208, rt 80 is not too far), there is a nice path from the lot through the park (it splits, I only went left this time), it is interesting that the park literally is in people’s backyards when you are walking, some owners have gates that open to the park, others, well, their fences seem less comfortable if you get my drift, unfortunately the nakedness of the winter reveals the debris and litter of humanity, is it overwhelming ? no, but certainly noticeable, I picked up a few pieces as I always do, but this place is in serious need of a dedicated patrol to pick up the flotsam, a little effort goes a long way, I guess this is the paramus river, I should google it but I don’t feel like it, the roar of the tiny rapids does pose some nice sound and almost (almost) drowns out the car traffic buzzing about and over, I shall check this out further in the future… it did not inspire a thought on the spot, but upon reflection tonight I wrote this (first draft just for this post):
upon red mill the common ground now a park with visions before the founding now nestled between highways and routes older than the country still may outlast the bustle ’bout and shared the land with history books for washington surely crossed this little nook and burr in yuletide of times sure partook certainly before his career paced north to new york and even lafayette on his farewell tour did endure to pass these grounds and now casual walkers, bikers and pavement encircle the visitors of note leave their bags and baubles but I might imagine the red mill will grist for it’s own will and endure on beyond more generations
I posted a couple of quick vids on my youtube account as well to give you a feel.so, that promise I made to myself… maybe I honored it here, but I am still struggling to be ‘it’ all the time, there are plenty of times I don’t stop and admire… or do the right thing, I’m working on it, so should you, we are barely here in the scheme of things, I know it so easy to say that, I know, I am just a guy and I do not live up to my own standards, but I am trying, I want everyone to give effort, and make this world better, step by step.
I often wonder would I like to live in more primitive times, to be an ancient as it were, the television would be the sky, the logs my corridors, there is an allure to that simple life but perhaps only if you hadn’t dipped that big toe into the now know, but I try to imagine what the sun and moon would mean not knowing the spin cycle that is the reason for their being in motion, sure, the celestial bodies are still a wonder, but imagine seeing these spheres magically appear and change over the course of a year, has the moon lost some luster ? has the sun lost some bright ? doubtful… just tonight looking up at a cloudy sky, just one note color, but there, a fuzzy diffused bulb just hanging, close one eye and reach up with a hand circle spyglass, and you could almost touch the thing, even knowing in reality only a handful of humans have actually touched moona firma, and that was 50 years ago, half a lifetime these days, perhaps only a third of a lifetime just down the road, so is our wonder gone or just refocused ? does technology and knowledge disconnect us? I might imagine what it was like to be the guy (or gal) that figured out how to create fire on demand, the veritable steve jobs of their day, pimping Ifire, bigger Ifire, Ifire portable, but I imagine people got tired of Ifire when the only difference in Ifire 10 was charcoal briquettes, so I suppose, in all this prose, what I might be trying to say, it is all relative, all generations thought they knew the most, think of those that found all the coasts and what a revelation that was in those times, is the feeling the same now when we find a new exoplanet? or is it blase-faire ? I often find myself sky gazing these days during the day and star gazing the night when the sun is away. and so I muse…
tonight I find myself standing among a forest of naked believers limbs raised in praise upwards to the heavens vibrating in the breeze so I may look there and agree, with no roots holding may I ascend up into the stars to continue this journey into the celestial bounty
Music ? how about some space ambient… I listen to this stuff all the time…
Call me Ebenezer, or hey, just call me! I am not a big fan of V-Day, the premise is fine, albeit contrived, but I think we should strive to celebrate life spontaneously (when the muse reminds your eye), especially us creative types, the masses (maybe not so much)? I get it, but some of us follow blogs less traveled and thoughts quite more unraveled, maybe I am the problem ? sure enough, guilty as shot by that uber bachelor cupid.
cupid’s bow
so quaint and narrow
chubby little fellow
seeks hearts o fallow
with one swipe
one strike
this unassuming cherubim
wink’s his eye
and with that
strikes down all of them
notes: just some simple thing I wrote just now in the moment, the point? love conquers all (even cupid the seemingly ever-bachelor had psyche after all). I have a more “cupid” oriented poem that I wrote a while ago (seems like ages but I still like it, so sue me, well, don’t sue me, we don’t need that, let’s not do that, thanks)
music… one of the most seductive songs I have ever heard, pump up the volume, the bass lends weight to the lines… listen to the lyrics, oh the damn lyrics.. man alive this makes me feel alive (and want to pick up one of my guitars and just get better expressing myself that way)
tales in trails of movement frozen
upon this still locked land
tracks of rorschach
intersect and interpret the intent of ways
I have not seen them lately, this season
the jacks
the rabbits that usually inhabit
under bush and peaking tree
curiously absent,
but clearly laid out the path
and social gatherings
if I might read tracks
I might know where they are going
I imagine them bounding
stopping for thumping
should they draw into fear
I imagine their locked sudden eyes
constant scanning,
but as now the snow is melting into rain
the crackling of mixed precipitation
and the rabbits once more, like magic, disappear
hiding
in my plain sight
but at least I know they are here
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
notes…. written monday during some lovely weather here in the garden state, one of those storms with a weird mix of snow/sleet.. and fun… so, remember to find beauty wherever you can, take a moment, stop and look for it (it’s there, go ahead), over the past couple of years I have noticed less and less jack-rabbits in my yard/property (it’s not an estate but I do have a small patch of woods behind the house), I also started seeing foxes in the neighborhood (which I have never seen here), I am not in a city but Edison is not exactly a wildlife preserve (for suburbia we do OK nature wise though), I have wondered if the rabbit population was being decimated by the foxes (who are super skittish by the way), I think the foxes are feasting more on domestic cats looking at the tracks on these snowy days (no cat tracks but I have seen cats around other times of year), just a side note, the first time you spot a fox it is a strange affair, at first glance you think “cat” but your mind says otherwise, on second guess you think “dog” but the size and gate is not quite right, and then you spy the tail, and the gig is up, or they look at you briefly before sneaking off and you catch those perfect bermuda ears…
I am trying to find a way, a reminder, some token to remind me every minute (or as much as possible) how incredibly miraculous life truly is, the amount of factors for life to develop (right at this exact moment) all these billions of years… take our planet on a purely scientific scale (I won’t get too heady, I promise), we don’t think about this everyday (or enough), we are right now (look at your feet) standing on rock islands floating on immensely insane amounts of magma that could torch us to cinder in a hot second, the crust of the planet, our “terra firma” is so incredibly thin, think of the Earth as an apple (whatever varietal strokes your fancy), the crust would be as deep as the skin of said apple (are you getting warmer yet?), furthermore our atmosphere (when viewed from space) is this little thin blue haze that barely extends out off the surface, add to that lucky potion the magnetic field that shields us just enough from the sun’s harmful radiation (but let’s in just enough to let life thrive), just for all those factors to collide and let me be present to type these words – in sheer amazement at the process of time and place, humbling, how do I hold this perspective ? or more surely, how do I apply this jolt, this feeling of almost infinite discovery of the miracle of everything, life itself, this draws me to understand why people wear crosses or other religious symbols, does that work? is the pendant around your neck or a tat’ enough? personally I am not religious in the religious affiliation sense, but I hold no grudge for my fellow travelers who are (I used to be that guy who thought he had all the answers and that those who believe were dumb, yeah, that was me), I am still looking for my personal ah-ha moment (not ‘take me on’), maybe I will never find the end of this path before I meet the end of this path, but! perspective, so much of our little corner of the galaxy (our city block in the country of the milky way if you will) is wrapped in such wonder that I might never wrap my head around it completely, but I know this… nothing we know of or probably will ever know of in our limited lifetime will ever account for all of “this”, I can only hope my foray into the mental exercise of perspective can help to remind me, every blade of grass, the look in my dog’s eyes, the touch of a loved one, the call of gulls as the surf rolls in and again, the stars carousel in the sky… this is a miracle, this life, always remember that as best you may in any times you may despair, think about the amount of things that had to happen just for you to be here, at this moment, truly an incredible miracle of reality.
If anyone has a good idea on how to remind myself or others (instead of just falling into daily routine)… all suggestions are appreciated! thanks.
music ? damn it, I am going guilty pleasure here, I don’t know why I love this tune so much… it is catchy as hell, I dare ya to tell me otherwise…
(my musings from my porch when I take a moment to take in and notice the world, sometimes poems, sometimes free form, always me… this is a series ongoing)
Photo by Benjamin Cruz on Pexels.com
I wonder where my energy has run off to, just the comfort of a snug bed on a bitter cold day, have I been body snatched and replaced by the twin pair of lethargy and laziness? or are the two consorting for an offspring in my form, my thoughts are short these days much like the hours the sun is keeping shop, I wonder about correlation, or collaboration against my will (or perhaps the pull of unknown instinct), either way I seem steered to submission by the cold iron grip of invading artic mass, perhaps this was just the crash my soul needed after a long week of work, after all I had two long jaunts into the night, with my only reward a full six days on top, sort of an oppressive sundae where the cherry is a bloody burdensome spike, I am not meaning to complain, I could walk away of course (and surely that sounds nice in due course in written words more fantasy than a battle plan), I suppose then I am complaining yet pretending to not do so, how veritably clever and not so transparent, so who might notice this anyway, a love letter, a complain notice, a tangent pamphlet of thought, posted by a celestial peasant pitching ideas out from this pebble planet cast out upon the shore of our galaxy, maybe all the answers are out there (not too far from reach), I think about going to attain them, there is a little spark in there deep down somewhere…
but a comfy bed, curled up, the dog as ready to snooze as I, this seems like the best answer to everything, at the moment.
(so, I close my eyes… lights dim… I drift off into dream)
Shades of My Garden 