Do you watch some of the silly tags that come across on the “reader” page here… I do, and sometimes the combos are quite amusing (well, to this jersey boy anyway), just logged in and saw this…
Suggestions: Craft Beer, Psychology, Happy Place.
Seems like a flow chart of my life .. Craft Beer (check), go to the psychologist (check), in my happy place (check)… ahhh….. that’s all just a silly post as I am sometimes just a silly goose (this being one of those times if you did not notice)
“avarice” 9.14.2018
nefarious ones, and fives,
line my pockets, passed around
these filthy whores, sweaty grimy hands,
passing underhand deals
gambling debts, illicit sex acts,
people, bought and sold
money is not the root of all evil
money is simply the financier.
notes… I think this one is pretty straight on, I was picking at the underlying scab of the ugliness of humanity and money…. am I above it ? I wish I could say I am totally a pauper who lives the life of a monk, but here I am on my $3K laptop posting about greed… as if I am better than anyone (which I am certainly not), stripping yourself of the material is a process, after all, I’m just a material girl… in a material world…
music… again I will wander into the obscure, I can pretty much guaranty you never heard this… but it is pre-korn NIN type stuff, they fizzled out but this song had it all imo… (and no it is not death metal, clean vocals but it is heavy at times…)
Just some rambling last thoughts (or things I forgot as I write my posts whole-cloth from memory on the spot)…
Anna remarked during the show how she does not like to talk (just perform) which sort of is ironic for a lead singer (at least I thought so, but she was in a talkative mood this particular evening – she talked about how they like to tell stories with their songs and origins of the various lyrics, definitely a different vibe than “this is a song about a girl” or whatever…). More importantly she said that the new album is pretty much done (and a new song was ready to be debuted… soon! yay ! If I remember correctly she said the new tune was very complicated so they couldn’t play it yet live. Which makes sense if you know any professional musicians, doing things in a studio is one thing but then learning the new stuff cold to play live is quite the different animal all-together.) Did I mention she plays a friggin’ hurdy gurdy ? That thing looks like it weighs a ton. From a show perspective I thought it was pretty cool that she would hop on the thing (it was on a stand) but then hop off to sing lead / engage the audience. She also broke out a flute… man she makes me feel like a lazy musical bum!
My staked out position happened to be next to 2 black guys (and their girlpal), I only say that because for whatever reason there just generally is not a lot of black people at metal/rock shows. In fact one of the guys remarked “hey, we are the 2 token black people here”… which I found amusing (if you like South Park, think of Token). It got me thinking back to a show I was at ages ago for the BRC (Black Rock Coalition) in NYC. The BRC is pretty interesting I recommend you check them out (for once I would say their Wiki page is pretty accurate). Of course my favorite all time singer is Doug Pinnick and he always wondered about why there is so few black artists/fans in the genre as well (as you could argue that rock and roll itself (and by extension metal) is derived from essentially black music – I don’t want to go to far into the weeds on this right now, maybe another time we’ll have that discussion).
So just a final overview/review… (in case I missed it), this band are total pros man, very tight and obviously well rehearsed, I have seen plenty of “big” bands in my day be a little sloppy or not pay as much attention to detail (lazy from success maybe?).. but Cellar Darling ? nah, they nail it… sure, they have a limited catalog admittedly but I have a good eye (and ear) for these things.
Unfortunately I could not stick around after the show but the band was hanging out interacting with the fans at the merch table… damn, it would be nice to be independently wealthy… but I will settle for mildly comfortable for now…
So in between sets I looked behind me and there is standing Anna Murphy kind of unassumingly checking out the room and opening act. Other people noticed of course, I didn’t want to be a pain in the ass but definitely wanted to tell her (in some suave manner) how much I love her art (it is art after all). So after some trepidation and a flux of nervous energy I saw the opportunity and jumped in to say a few things… and boy I am glad none of my friends were around, I turned into a 13 year old fan girl faster than you can say my little pony… I had all these lofty things in my head that I thought I might say but… whew, I swerved past that in a nervous rout of sheer geeky fandom, to her credit I am sure she has witnessed plenty of men turn into jelly trying to get out all the feelings/emotions/thoughts as she has been touring for years and been on huge stages in front of massive adulating crowds, I said something in the neighborhood of loving her solo album (which I absolutely do) and how I didn’t need a selfie (gee.. cause I am just too cool for the room but I was probably drooling on myself by this point), I haven’t had that sort of nervous energy in some time… so I made a semi fool of myself, and that’s fine, it certainly was not the first time, and certainly will not be the last, she was absolutely gracious to me and everyone who wanted anything (autographs, photos etc etc)… she took it all in stride and was genuinely appreciative of the fans (this was a tuesday night after all… and 9/11 no doubt). So anyway I was literally vibrating after that for some time anxiously awaiting their set. Side note… In my mind’s eye I didn’t think Anna was that short, I don’t look up people’s vitals when viewing videos but man.. they are all a lot shorter than I pictured in my mind (like from the videos). Not that it matters but it is that much more impressive that someone of Anna’s stature has a 10 story voice, and Merlin? damn, he is a slamming force of nature (no fret Ivo, you rule too, and damn I forgot to google the bass player but I am not going to pretend for this piece that I did, but his bass reminded me of seeing Geddy Lee ages ago as I never saw a bass like that previously). Like I said in my previous post this club has such a strange (but awesome) setup where the band literally has to wade through the audience to get up to the stage. A quick word on the audience, for such a small crowd my fellow cellar darlings (see what I did there..) were a really good crowd, no assholes, really polite, and definitely into it.
So the band finally takes the stage… (they did a quick last minute sound check previously which I am so used to when I was following King’s X all over the east coast back in the late 90’s early 2000’s). I purposely (which is not usually like me) did not check the internet to see what the set list was (well.. I mean, they only have ONE album so… it was just a matter of song order I suppose)… but point being I wanted a total surprise, a total new experience, I really haven’t had the chance to go out to many shows the past few years as none of my friends listen to what I do and I am quite single (applications… ladies? … kidding, having some fun there), so… they opened with Black Moon which is a good choice as it is a pretty simple one to play and gives the sound engineer some leeway to adjust the levels, sure, it is one of their “singles” (is that even a thing anymore?) but it surely is a kick ass song to get the crowd going. A word on their sound engineer, she did a fantastic job (and “she” is important, my years of seeing literally thousands of shows I almost expect some dude working the soundboard, just one of those things, you usually do not see females at that job.. why ? I have no idea nor can I speak to that, but she absolutely crushed it, unfortunately I did not get a chance to tell her so – sound people rarely get the credit they deserve – so kudos to her wherever she is at this moment – after about halfway through song 2 the sound was close to perfect, sometimes the guitar popped up in the mix but overall, especially the hurdy gurdy was spot on). I won’t go through the whole set, I used to be one of those people who wrote down all these things… but I was there singing along to all the words (OK, except the song not in english “Hedonia” – before which Anna quipped “you won’t understand shit” lol, but then amended that because there were some people in the audience that apparently spoke Swiss), so I was banging my head old school, just enjoying the show. The band was fantastic, there was only a couple of mistakes in the entire show and I think I was the only one that noticed being the music nerd I am. Totally tight and in control, Anna.. man, her voice live ? wow… watch the clips, no tricks, no auto tune she just brings it… and as I said previously Merlin just SLAMS on the drums, what a thunder, Ivo and the bass player are friggin robots (in a good way, just exact and damn on time), they basically played the entire album, I liked the song mix (order) they picked, great ebb and flow, they decided not to do the usual “encore” bullshit and Anna just basically said they were going to just play the encore tunes… and they did.
I absolutely loved it all and was pleasantly surprised by “Six Days” which was much better live than on the album (heavier), they did the Queen cover “Prophet” as well but I would have preferred Twin Flames… but I am just a lowly fanboy, still on cloud 9, feeling like I am in my 20’s discovering some new thing that no one knows about. If anyone reads this, and cares about the future of music, go check out Cellar Darling… I don’t understand how people are not beating down the doors for them, they are not some crazy death metal act (ahem, which I love, crazy death metal that is…) but really accessible folk metal/rock with both amazing vocals and great playing overall (without being too prog imo).
Thank you Cellar Darling, for a great experience I will not forget.
Check out the vids on my youtube account…
Being that they are basically a Swiss band they do not travel these parts often (well, not as this band maybe… as Eluveitie… ok, fair enough). But that said when I first got into Eluveitie it was a little (very) late in the game, in fact when I started googling them they had just broken up ! doh! So… the sometimes lead singer (the amazing Anna Murphy) and two members of Eluveitie (Merlin Sutter, drums and Ivo Henzi, guitars and bass) broke off and formed… Cellar Darling (the name is also the name of Anna’s quite excellent solo album)… so with all that tedious groundwork laid out….
The venue? A legendary (to some), mysterious to others (me) spot located in the Greenpoint section of Brooklyn, I am very familiar with the area (one of my accounts is literally up the street) but I had no idea this venue (which seems to specialize in the heavier side of the musical spectrum -yay!) even existed… and the beast is called “St. Vitus“… go ahead and check out the link, I’ll wait for you… It looks a lot worse than it actually is inside, I was sort of amused and bemused that there is absolutely no sign on the building, I kind of just drove down manhattan ave until I came to the approximate address… so I just parked… I went to where the place SHOULD be and found THE door that music was behind… and entered…
No pat down (which I was expecting, like the dork I am I wanted to bring a journal and one of my fancy metal pens… oh well, just have to use the ole noggin instead!). Lots of cute satanic stuff adorns the walls but that is just amusing to me… I mean if you believe in satan you are acknowledging some other “good” god, unless you are of the Anton LeVey strain, but that is all a different matter and I do not want to venture off onto another tangent (as I am known to do)… on first glance you think dive bar, but this is a dressed up dive bar with actual clean corners if you look around and inspect, plus they had a good tap menu (although a beer was $8, I know it is a stone’s throw from NYC proper (ie manhattan south) but damn… either way I still tip at least a buck when I buy a drink)… I wound up having a couple of Victory Prima Pils (excellent beer)… I did not want to get buzzed in any fashion as I had a good hour drive home (god bless (or curse) the BQE and the Staten Island Expressway, oy…)… plus it was humid as balls so water was the later option (I know, ruining my party animal image…). The room itself (stage etc) is pretty small, they say capacity is 250…woah, that has to be pushing it…. forward, I might imagine you can fit 300 in here, but only if you include the bar area (which honestly would not be the worst thing in the world…).
So I scoped out the room, picked out a spot, and anchored myself, luckily the crowd was light so planting a flag and defending my turf was not a necessity on this night, I used to be that guy who had to be up front… but with age I just want to hear everything the best I can (and finding THAT spot is a thing, being right in front sucks… trust me even though I get the urge). So there was time to kill.. so of course I people watched (as I am known to do)… there was huge metal guy (with his denim vest from 198? with all the patches from iron maiden forward, sort of like a metal war flag of where he has been, and damn that dude is always like 6’2 or bigger, but there is always one of THAT guy at every metal show, then there is the people competing to wear the oldest concert shirts to show off their metal cred, then there is the disinterested girlfriend dragged there by their totally into metal boyfriend (I totally have been that guy), then there is the spiritual old guy with the fanny pack raising up his hands like he just don’t care with the newly bought band t-shirt tucked in, not sure if he knows where he is, then there is the friends of the local openers, easy to spot, maybe I am cynical and have been to too many concerts? nah… even though I was scoping out the soundboard setup… again I am too into this… I just was in a t-shirt and jeans with my semi soft looking merrells (they are comfy!)… besides I have been all those things I laugh at, so… not judging, more reminiscing…
So I had no idea who the opening band was… usually I could care less (or they stink worse than the skunk that died up your ass 4.5 months ago)… turns out the opener friggin ruled ! They are called Seven)Suns (apparently the “)” thing matters… they played as a trio instead of their usual quartet, which, to me made no difference because I had no idea who the hell they were anyway, so anyway… they basically are excellent classical musicians who are into the heavy stuff and cover same.. ferociously on their instruments (and I do mean ferocious!)…. now, I know not everyone (or more than 14 people at times…) read my blog but I love classical music, I also have always been under the belief that death metal and really technical metal is closer to classical music than most people understand/realize (challenging, exciting, fast, tonal changes etc etc)… so this absolutely blew me away… I think most of the audience was a bit bewildered (by observation) but I totally got it. Nothing like banging your head to classical instrumentation… they played a few “covers” (as if they don’t sound so original..) they had me like “what the hell is that?? I KNOW that!!??!?” for parts of the songs. Their cover if “It’s Love” by Pantera was really damn cool, apparently they don’t like to play it because Phil Anselmo (the lead singer of pantera) did something I have no idea about and frankly am too lazy to google at the moment (I’ll get to it… but cmon, that song rules), they had great vibe and personality, Earl was very amusing and real, Jennifer and Amanda were also great.
(end part 1, I am tired man…)
I almost think of myself as a 9/11 snob, and not in a good way, I think (feel) that people in the rest of the country do not feel it the same way I do, or people who live in the Tri-State area do (here that is NY, NY, CT). I am not saying that to be confrontational but more or less how can someone in Kansas (just picking a random state, relax Jayhawks) really understand what 9/11 really means to us… I drive by ground zero all the time and it hits me without fail, that absence… that missing, the lives, the voices silenced.. it is a constant reminder in lower manhattan, there is a hole there, THAT hole, I know families that lost sons, guys I went to high school with and hung out with (not close friends I do not want to exaggerate)… that very easily could have been me in a heartbeat given subtle life changes, it could have been my brother who was doing work for Verizon almost into that week under the towers, it could have been my cousins who were all city dwellers until that day…
I imagine Oklahoma City residents go through the same thing… they live with the horrible horror of the memory of the bombing… how often do I ever think of OK city ? never… I can’t even recall the date, and I won’t google it to pretend, I am writing this right now… so it is all relative. I imagine the people who live right where the boston marathon bombing remember the day of their bombing…
I am not criticizing or … well, I am totally unsure of what I am doing, I am just writing, who cares what the hell I write anyway, it is what it is… this day, this goddamn day. I can’t fully explain the feelings even now. I wrote the following months ago, and I am going to do the obvious thing and post this on 9/11, this day deserves reflection, I get it that everyone doesn’t understand… but this day..I’m … out of words that make sense.
“twins” 7.17.2018
NJ Turnpike drive, my daily commute,
up and over the snake mountain bridge
and there she is –
through the morning hazy glory
new york city skyscape
laid out like a postcard
I can reach out
touch the buildings to which I’ve been
but then, there is –
the missing
The Twins.
born the same year as mine
stolen from us
voices of the thousands – rise
lost now to memory, into the sky
how soon we forget
how slow we rebuild
we are charged by the gravity of their fall
to remember, the lives
the lives we lost
their silence since
their silence still
the lives, lost in that skyline
that day in september
we promise –
for all time
Remember.
Anyone who has read my blog (thanks by the way) should know by now I endeavor to sit out on my porch and observe the world, I kind of want to do this as an experiment over the course of time so you can track my thoughts along the course of a year, I write “from the porch” often but not every day, but still it should be an interesting experience to see where this goes. Tonight’s edition is actually something(s) I wrote and totally forgot about. I am not saying these are all masterpieces, more often they are set pieces to capture the moment… I have so many journals laying around (I try to have one ready wherever I go: my car, my outdoor backpack, work etc etc).. so somehow these entries missed being posted (could be me working 60-70 hours a week… nah….) but anyway I want to post them and then I will put them in order in the series (because I like order, you may call it OCD… damn you) so anyway without all my verbose droning…
“porch” (series) 6.10.2018
the rise and fall of the cicada’s song
the humidity has lost a bit of its teeth
but is still warm to the touch
a young lone jack rabbit nibbling on my lawn
the distant hum of airliners crossing some miles away
the birds chatter dims in the fading tones of light orange
the cicadas song comes and goes flowing over
the summer night – still there is light
this late hour when winter would be pressing sleep
the summer stays awake with the possibility of day
conquering the night, the impetus of dreams
“senses” (porch series) 6.10.2018
I look out at all I can see
all that is in front of me
for it is nothing
even with a telescope or the mighty hubble itself
deep into the cosmos
we can barely see even past our own front yard
my eyes strain
but I can not see space
my eyes were not designed
not evolved, for this
they are bound to this rock, to this place
this space, this history
the square meters laid out in front of me
I should learn to observe –
with my ears
let my mind develop the photos
imagination and fears
might I taste the air
like a snake
but my eyes, my eyes
want to rule my truth
when in all
all senses I should use
to discover this world
because it will be all I will ever know
(porch) 6.10.2018
the street is almost silent now
the last strength of the sun struggles against slumber
the crescent moon blushes in full glow
composed to lead the stars
all the day sounds
have retreated into beds of calm
I remain as a witness
to this, transition
that has transpired
and will
does the world remember
these cycles
as each day is truly unique
but so many
so many, infinite combinations
may seem the same
but for a moment a finite grain
of singular existence in time.
musical choice of the night ?
humanmshdance – music of the spheres
totally chill… relax and listen to the tones and then the bass kick in… amazing.
The oppressive ire of a humid summer broke in a big way yesterday, the temperature dropped to the point of going from summer shorts to a fall jacket overnight, I can’t say today was one of those miserable gray days you might think of, but it did rain all day, kind of off and on, never to hard never gone, I was going to go out and try to write out on my porch, but it is raining man… so I didn’t, but my mind did start up the writing engine as I was taking out the garbage (ah yes the regal authority of suburban life) and I thought about the rain (and as usual things we take for granted). I love the way rain sounds, I am one of those people who listens to “white noise” at night to sleep, usually ocean waves (my fave) or rain storms (especially with rolling thunder)… but then a little gnome of realization grabbed my ear and whispered… “rain is silent you fool”, after a little soul searching about listening to a figment of imagination I had to tend to agree…
Rain does not make noise. Rain is the percussion section of nature’s orchestra. All the sounds we associate with rain or storms is certainly “not rain”. Wind ? Thunder? The trees whipping, cars whipping down the street whoosh as they go by, jumping in a puddle splash, the ground rumbling from thunder claps… all not rain. Rain is the sound of impact. Think about that, something that only makes sound upon impact… and everything it impacts makes a different sound… but we process that as “rain” but it is surely not. Rain is a silent lot, as it hits your earlobe, your car hood, your driveway, a thousand leaves, all of these… so remarkably different in all aspects. Rain is not like a voice, a voice is the sound of you, it may have a different impact on the intended target but the sound.. the sound is not impact, the perception is, quite different from rain. So then…
I thought further, about water, in general… do waves make a sound? or is it their impetus movement against the shore ? Do ice cubes make a rap or is it the impact with your glass? or the crack as they dissipate ? Waterfalls, where is the sound found ?
I guess, remember to look at all things and think, observe how the world really works.
so after my philosophy blathering… “philosophy is the talk on a cereal box, religion is a smile on a dog”
Edie Brickell & NewBohemians – What I Am
one of my all time favorites… enjoy, smile, smile at the world, because a scowl doesn’t help anything. do I do that all the time ? nah… but I am trying.
I think I would rather much prefer to live among the towers of flowers, given the preference of perspective, thank you very much.
(semi crappy photos from a rest area on the GSP, find beauty wherever you may go – it is there, just look and observe! This time of year there are just these vast fields of wild flowers all over the parkway…I felt I had to grab some pics, I should grab some more because in a blink these little suns will be gone…)
weird trippy music for my weird mood dude (and dudettes)….
I find my self often thinking about being someone else… I am not talking about the fantasies we all have about being famous or hitting the big home run (or playing a mind melting guitar solo in front of a crowd of floozies looking to hop my bones (ok… a little too much there)). I am literally talking about the mental exercise of looking at an everyday person and trying to gauge what it is to be them, in their skin, their experience, their problems, their sins and joys, I am talking about crawling in there and trying on that skin suit, empathy to the Nth degree, empathy by actually being, sure, it can’t happen but my mind needs crackers to munch on so it doesn’t munch on itself. It is a strange exercise as sometimes I think it is pointless (we are all dead walking – hope I am wrong on that count but as far as I know now…) but other times it leads to insights you might not have thought of if you didn’t take your mind muscle through the paces, give it a whirl. This work was my attempt at describing a bit of my thought process as it happened… just sitting in my car during my lunch hour, had to get out of the office to breath in some calm air, listen to some tunes… and words floated in… and controlled my pen…. (plus I picked a baby pic for click bait… c’mon, everyone loves babies.. and puppies… and unicorns, market research tells me so…)
“thoughts, lunch in the car, Hackensack NJ” 4/27/18
a gray day
a friday
threatening rain
forecast in hand
but eyes tell
better than a weather app
the local pockets of rain
on my corner of this map
people walking by, walking on by
I do not know them
but they know the route
as sure footing confident
are they looking at me
wondering the same things
shared experiences with another’s lens
stranger’s mouth and foreign eyes
a divergent skin on frame
tailored to a different size
choice of shoes and shirt
might we switch places
what would I do
where will I go
what would I inherit
what now will I know?
musical choice? I feel like a classic…
Fast and dirty rock and roll baby… time for the weekend.. oh wait, I am working (audible sigh), festivities cancelled, damn it.
