I should be inspired by the shoots of grass in the cracks of the sidewalk
Fired up my Haiku-inator 3000 (c), this is the model that can cut an aluminum soda can in half for no apparent logical reason, it can also fry 40 pounds of food without oil, it can chop nuts like nobody’s business, but mostly, just mostly it transforms mundane every day american poetry into haiku, so I browse the instructions (I mean how difficult could it really be, plus I never read the instructions on anything anyway), ok, fold in half, place in tray, press the ‘presto‘ button (I can’t believe the manufacturer is implying there is actual magic involved… oh the hubris), so anyway with some beeps and whirs… and this weird non chromatic clicking, almost like a vending machine vending, out came this…
an inspiration shoots of grass in the sidewalk life will find a way
I still have 3 more payments of $9.95 on the thing (I think, I have to check my statement), it is warrantied of course (again, for how long I have no idea), the my pillow guy said I should keep it though, sounds legit…
…if you missed the link I am repeating it, tonight’s musical suggestion that is…
one of those bands that is a like em or not band, I get it, geddy is a bit nasal, they are a bit prog rock, but I guess that is what makes the world go round (well, that and the actual laws of the universe but let’s not get into that right now…)
and I would be remiss if I did not say thanks, for the eyes and the time, all thoughts and such are appreciated, bricks through my car window… not so much.
I was driving home from the market tonight, I like to cook my daily lunches in advance for at least part of the week, color me captain prudent, guilty as charged, for some reason, just tonight, a revelation lit up the confines of my car, well, perhaps maybe not as dramatic as an alien abduction, more like a realization in the moment, I noticed (to my left) the strange architecture of a house on some random side street I have never been down, and in fact passed twice now just tonight alone, and all these side roads, I even know their names by heart, but I have never thought about turning down one of them, I always ramble on the familiar path right past them
– every – single – time
there could be inspiration lying in wait there, interesting cars, strange landscape choices (or cool ones), familiar animals doing familiar things in an unfamiliar setting, sheer possibilities to add to the flavor of my personal recipe, a love interest perhaps (OK, maybe I should stop myself, Fabio, I am not), point being, there is an obvious metaphor slapping me about the face with a cold wet fish (yech), so then to why, why do I not explore each and every corner of everything within auto-shot of my door, why? is it just the calming comfort of sameness, the opioid of familiarity, I would like to think of myself as some elevated being, an independent beacon broadcasting light at my own wavelength separate from the common walkers of this life, but, in truth, with all my high mindedness am I just as much a slave to routines, unable (or unwilling) to break the barriers I put on myself, is it an instance of instinct, intrinsic to our nature as humans? or is it risk aversion even if the risk is nothing more than the gentle prod of the unfamiliar, I act as if some random ten minutes of my life holds some great worldly importance, we all become myopic as we are driving this flesh machine with our minds, I think the trick is to recognize this and let go of these tethering things, they brought us here (as a species) but maybe now are the appendix of our psyche, I strive to experience things from a new objective, I can not truly change my perspective, I am me, I can merely change the prescription on my contacts and go forth to look from there, but like all things it must be in steps, I am not a dive into the deep end of the pool kind of guy, that much I know and concede, but I am also not the tip my toe in the water to get accommodated guy, I reside somewhere in between, I wrote this after I arrived back home, I took the usual way, of course, were you expecting more? I have not taken that first step yet, but at least I know it is out there to be had…
Photo by Frank Cone on Pexels.com
tonight is not as delightful as some lately but it is very calm, I just need to remember here and there to explore as much of this world as I may get the chance, be it some exotic location or just that random turn down a street I have passed one thousand times, the world will not end nor bend on the comings and goings of me, although I may feel that way at times, silly as it may be, the world just is, with or without me, and I should carry that like a symbol on a chain, or a bracelet, or ink inlaid in my skin, time will always win, but I have been given time, this time, I own this right now time and space until my least breath, life is truly miraculous. I must always remember that, life is precious and the confluence that created this life is a miracle.
This is a segment of my Porch Project… I do not always get inspiration from it, but I highly recommend going out on your porch, deck, or whatever and just let the universe talk to you… human intervention and interaction does intrude, but go for it anyway… you might be surprised by what you find…
so I was driving home from Brooklyn the other night after upgrading a store after hours, not quite late but rather late (1am-ish let’s say), Brooklyn is many things, I might imagine that in your head you probably have a specific image of what that is, Brooklyn I mean, perhaps it is painted by your experience (you’re a local?) or just what you may have read/seen (hipsters, brownstones, the bridge, for me Peter Lugers…), but rest assured Brooklyn is many other things rarely advertised as such, where I was certainly is not a city, certainly not near Manhattan, certainly on the ocean (yes, that ocean), I suppose all of that is not important but I like to supplant what may be fallacy (or fantasy) about a given place, the particular stretch of road I was traversing is the Belt Parkway usually synonymous with hideous traffic, impromptu construction, long term construction, potholes, roving random repair of said potholes, localized flooding, did I mention mind-melting-question-your-ability-to-not-ram-your-car-into one-hundred-peopleoverandoverandover… but thankfully tonight was not one of those occasions (much to my surprise and delight), but still a strange evening, we have all seen fog and the like but this was not what was in sight, I can best describe it as creeping humidity, you could see it, almost touch it, feel like your car was parting the red sea as it was moving through it, the road lighting looked like framed cones of yellow/orange, almost like they were mapped by translucent felt, they stood out from the background like a 3D model, almost like an art project everything was so well fuzzy defined, fuzzy, yes, that would be the best word to accommodate what I was perceiving, although my sight had perfect clarity the world seemed wrapped in fuzzy, on second thought that sounds so non literary, so with a quick search I find one of those cool shiny proper words… “velutinous“, ah, yes, that smacks of upper crust verbiage heritage if I ever spied such a word
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“all about me the world looked velutinous…”
like driving through a dream, every light of every stripe, color, size was captured in cylinders, cones and corridors, I was not the only car on the road but was left unaware of others as I drifted along this inter-bay pathway to my humble door, I thought to myself “can words even describe this properly?”… doubting the very nature of my craft, I felt the impulse to go for my phone and the ever-camera tethered to same, but alas, the lens is not the aperture of my eye and while the phone’s eye will probably be more truthful to your eyes, it will not be what I see from mine. My thoughts in turn eat time like popcorn at so much a carnival, and before I know it I am on the Verrazano, crossing the narrows (although they seem pretty wide from this vantage point), into Staten Island, and then home to my glorious garden state, where sam (the dog) was waiting, blissfully unaware of the magical surreal setting, of the frozen pictures of lights hanging in the humid night, tail wagging, she pees on my irises… oh the dog’s life…
music? as if I had a choice (I am a child of the 80s damnit)…
thoughts, comments, questions and general maladies are all appreciated, as is your time, you have my thanks (I just made a nice gesture with my hands toward you, sure, you can’t see it but I did it just the same)
Karma, as it were, as it was, as it is… has a sense of humor, or is it more on the tree of irony? probably the latter, regardless of my navel karma gazing as fate would have it, I posted a little thought, quip, thing about roadkill in my last post, so the boomerang swung back around these ways today and lo and on hold one of my road technicians struck a deer, not some rare occurrence in these parts mind you, but the timing seemed like a nod, fortunately my tech was unscathed, the deer? not so much, and as it turns out it was a fawn, yes a baby deer… I hate to admit it, maybe not, but things pop into my head and I share them, much to the horror of my administrative assistant Irene (you would think she would be used to it by now)… I had to…I just had to… I blurted out (with much pent up glee like a little kid)… “he put the BAM in Bambi!”
I giggled like a little girl, I just couldn’t help myself, I was officially giddy beyond belief, with no guilt, would me being sorry or contrite restore life? no… c’mon now. call it gallows humor or what ever the matter, sometimes you have to laugh at circumstance or conveyance of typical human behavior, we all pretend as if our butterfly wings fluttering matter, admit it, I do, we expect we have some push on the universe, in a sense we do because we exist, but in the general scheme of things making fun of the macabre or anything… is nothing and amounts to nothing, so smile, laugh, not at a fellow other’s expense but sometimes at the expense that has been paid and laid by those before us, for they can not laugh for us…
perfection if you are a word nerd, has there ever been a better term ? it can not be confused with something else, at least not to me, the perfection of it just hit me like (I want to say a ton of bricks but man that is used….), it hit me like a halibut (that sounds quirky enough so I will go with that)
Walking barefoot in the sun, I feel once again young, as if I am looking down at my feet and seeing a child’s body, my body, walking in the sun, a t-shirt and shorts, destinations and appointments give way to innocent desires and pursuits, this feels like the summer I remember in my bones, the warm laziness that calms all membranes, the quelling of all senses, for a moment I utterly bask.
I park my car under a tree, so, things happen in the natural order of things, so I figure I might hose it off as I just had it proper washed on friday, so in the midst of aiming to knock off the bird presents for a moment the hose jerked up, and the breeze picked up, mist sprays into the air almost like slow motion each drop frozen shimmering in the sun, misting me up the legs up my arms and my face, there is immediate revulsion but then a hugely wide smile, there – I am taken into an immediate transfer back in time, I’m a child, with other children, running through a lawn sprinkler on a day just like this, so vivid I can hear and taste the moment, how the water felt on my skin, the belief that we could jump through unwashed or untouched, ‘oh that next jump’, the pure hope of children, such a simple thing, more memorable than some fancy vacation to a posh destination, there is more in slices of life like that than can ever be paid for, the simplicity of a hose attached to a fan sprinkler and the mad dash to jump over them (to be nimbler than jack), such distilled existence, purity of joy and fun with nothing attached to it, no expectations, just the next moment, maybe that is the problem with adulthood, all these outward layers we collect bear us down, in that it is like everything else, you pick up things as you travel, you fill your house, and unless occasion or circumstance demands you to down-size… will you?
I am not saying strip down your clothing until you are a child again, that would be a simplistic thing and I would be a fool doctor to prescribe such a prescription, but maybe take a look around and see what actually benefits and supports your life – and what does not, be that a trinket or a person or a person of trinkets, try to mine down to the things, that are the purest version of your thoughts, you will know them when the shovel hits them, for now I want to go walk in the sun some more, letting my toes explore the lawn, step on an itchy ball or three, let my skin absorb the sun to the point of just sweat, and maybe.. maybe find a sprinkler to jump through (and hopefully not break a leg)
(I escape tonight, with a smile and filled with satisfaction)
they had a string of three albums that was mind blowing, they had big label support but for whatever reason they never broke big, they had a unique sound, unique front man, I’ll never understand why but those that loved them truly did, as usual comments and likes are appreciated, this is all my original content, this is me, some guy in new jersey, the garden state, who does… appreciate any and all eye balls, I am convinced there are people out there wired like me, I am certainly not mainstream, I gave that up a long time ago…
“a prayer for the fallen, for they shall not rise again a moment for the forgotten so we shall know their acts remain to those who came before
to those with which we leave,
a prayer for the fallen,
with these words may you take heed
let now the world’s foundation
build inspiration from their deeds”
notes… I did not plan to write this, I wrote it a few days ago but it seems apt for Memorial Day. I have no military in my family and in fact it seems discouraged (one day I will write a missive about that), what is more noble than sacrificing yourself for others to do nothing (or something) with their freedom? sure, is every soldier a pure soul ? no. but there are those that are literally on the front line battling for our right to blog here on wordpress and other such trivial pursuits (as much as I think art is important, it is, without warriors would we even have the chance to express ourselves ?). I know it is trite to say Freedom is not free… but it is not, I am in the debt of those that came before to give me a life where I can explore the world via my mind and my art, thank you, the unknown, the nameless, the creator (whatever that may be), every free breath is a gift… goddamn I have to remember this.. I have to motivate myself further… life matters… life matters…
notes… technically I wrote this on my porch but it was different from those musings… this is my blog so, I do what I want, If you dig it, I am grateful, if not there is plenty of other grapefruit to ponder.
music... COM TRUISE… that’s all, retro electronica, sounds 80s but yet somehow modern-ish… NJ guy as well so I am partial to that…
the clouds seem to want to have a conversation tonight, I am not sure what about, they seem quite still, shadows painted flat against the blue, not a blue recognizable as a hue you would associate with day, a blue looking over a ledge right before it fades into black, but still perceptibly blue even at almost nine at night, a commercial flight blinking as it moves across the main face, pulsing in and out, passing in and out, just as a car passes by, symmetry in random things, a sign? or just reading the page nature has laid out in front of me…
“I’ll surely miss this one day”
so, I must, with my best intent soak it all in, but then, for a moment I notice the yellow jacket lady has a hitch in her walking steps, and that little detail manages to spirit my attention away, until the subtle shfff shfff scrape shfff shfff scrape fades, no matter how much we stop and look at the world in frame, the world is content to whirl around us never stopping, an unpredictable machine with infinite parts, we announce to the universe that we know the ticks, the gears, the hands, but we are still landlocked on this one planetary earth, as sophisticated as we are… string theory, dark matter, chaos theory, astrophysics, a holographic universe, the multiverse, buckyball (I just wanted to throw that in there because of the name), the god particle (higss boson), all fascinating areas to stretch our limited knowledge wider (and I revel in immersing in all these things as possibility is imagination, dreams into reality essentially), but there is also equal satisfaction in staring at the variance of leaves on a simple single tree, as I am doing now, there is enchantment in looking at what we might ignore in the very daily day but it is it’s own complex network of molecules and matter in a nearly infinite scale, I can get lost in the peaks and valleys in just a tree I planted some years ago with these hands, fascination, watching the subtle twitches from insects or a breeze, mesmerizing, I find myself lost in the moment for a moment or some, another plane breaks through, a train calls out in the distance, as the clouds are fading back into the darkening sky, I forgot by now, what was I going to ask them, what were they going to say ?
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notes… (this is part of my porch project).. I was going to post something else tonight but then I sat outside and as I always say “this wrote itself”, because that is the way the muse works through me, I don’t know if this piece conveys the feeling of peace I felt, if not, well, it was…peaceful, I highly recommend finding a quiet space from the rat race of daily life daily if you can, stripped away of these electronic things (which I equally love to be fair), but just sit there and take it all in, look for details you might have missed…
Excellent (amazing) ambient space music… maybe I should post these links before my posts as music to read the post by? I am writing this listening to this… I imagine traveling as light through space…
Shades of My Garden 