echo…s

echo…s

if even I could hold some semblance of my perception
as a single grain of sand
a molecule- all that is left of this man
some miniscule consciousness of mine
in that boundary between the tides
so I might yet feel the light, on my face
left to the ocean’s gentle grace
never alone in the vastly grave
just a glimmer
a silicone sliver, of hope
under star-shine and moonlit glow
some tiny piece of this- left
to go on – and on -and on.

note… we all do it… the search for meaning, the meaning of our existence, to square the circle that we can never… but we do it any way, it is in our nature… I can not shake the fear that one day I will disappear, and not even know I existed, my consciousness scattered to the winds… is that greedy? is that shallow? perhaps… in the grand scheme of things I suppose… I suppose I should just let go…but… this is all I know, and the idea that I will be essentially erased, while I have no control, is terrifying… so I hope and search for more… and even that seems shallow, for you or I will never know until that time when we can’t come back here and inform each other… in a blog…

contemplation, on vacation, hurricane remnant

contemplation, on vacation, hurricane remnant

I can understand the stories,
the lore
here at the shore
when the wind howls like it does now
something beyond man
a power like that only of god
for what else could whip the seas
into a tempest
such as this?
such fury seems aimed
such fury seems personal
we need to aim animus to understand this
such as this
and somehow I am too enamored
hearing the wails of wind
and the crash of waves
like an other world orchestra
even if I understand the underpinnings of the stage…
no, there is still mystical corners
in our defined world
and so I wish to be a sailor
of the olden one.

https://www.facebook.com/100025033805573/videos/1083596298994671/

notes… so here I am, the remnants of a hurricane have come ashore here in south new jersey, cape may, no shortage of storms I am sure if she could tell me the stories, I have been through worse here, this one is now all wind, no rain anymore, wailing, constant wailing coming through my third room floor balcony, I have only my imagination to think of how this must have been ages ago, to hear that deafening wailing, on a ship in or on the shore on, I find it illuminating… fascinating… hypnotizing, and yet I can understand the fear such a wailing demon must have seemed back only a hundred years or so ago… really not that long… and I appreciate my station, to be able to be here to hear this, so I wish to recall this when I can, when I am in the throes of the doldrums of daily office life, to recall this moment, this sound, this experience and how tied I feel to the ocean right now, right here…

the veil.

the veil.

this self afflicted veil of darkness;
when the light hits these eyes, this skin.
emerging from my cave
I know the feeling, always have
the warming, the inner joy of temporary reprieve,
how soon my dna seems to forget however, so, waiver,
to slink back to that dying comfort
to the slow killing-
all paths lead to death
yes,
but would I rather know the land a bit more
before,
does such meandering matter,
perhaps not,
does that make me dig my own plot however
that much sooner.

I might rather then, burn my feet in the light
on that unforgiving exposed plot of sand
than reduce down into a heap of still dust
a huddled cold mass,
all that lies between, is will.

notes… maybe my thoughts are a diary, of my inner self, or not so inner, just my self… sometimes there is rain. “but it can’t rain all the time”…

the N, the Z, you sea…

the N, the Z, you sea…

out upon the silky sea
a voyage be’ond discovery
for out in that unforgiving grave
a rock
an outcrop
once the roiling cauldron heap
to melt the earth herself
molten dreams roll conjured up
from the continental shelf herself
and here now cooled and tam’d these days
spared the steam ‘don cleared the haze

a seeking flock found peace and stayed
without a fang ‘r tooth long in sight
decided they were done with flight
for why bother with a pilot’s trial
on cliffs and yonder tuck’n’tail

notes… nah, I am not explaining this one… let it be mystery and fodder for imagination as this was a loose interpretation, of language and creation, on my part, in other news I finally reorganized my YouTube Channel a bit, so check it out if you please, and on Facebook I post things so, all that, if you like what I do, thank you, no, truly, I broadcast out my frequency and hope there are at least a few ears in tune, even if not, at least I am here to do it.. and that is truly enough, remember that.

lost.love.letters.

lost.love.letters.

drift

the stretching- beautiful blue sky out-
as I drive, the span over the meadowlands,
tree tops, now budding, in this spring
my mind wanders- dreams- drifts- as it should
and then inward; there is that moment of inner inspection reflection;
looking for that place
where my mind will rest
and my heart might forget, (her)
all these years-
and still-
no one compares to you, my love
for each replaced thread, so abandoned
I am reminded-
and so long,
even the fear has long since departed
the familiar denial has settled in
the submission
to the cold acceptance
with only your memory
to keep me warm
until I go. (there)

(and I pray someday to see you again-
for sometimes the hope, the dream is all I have)

sometimes I am mysterious, or arcane, or sometimes I am a merchant of simplicity… depends on the world and how my mind drifts, this was today… (I wrote this piece listening to this song, why? who knows… it was what made me think, made me muse, so I am tried to bring you to the same place, where I put the song on repeat and my mind on repeat until a mantra bubbled up to understand, so it did, profound? loud? soft? correct? righteous? nah… just me.. and maybe you, these days it is what it is, and sometimes I am OK with that even if I wish for the bliss, I realize I had a time in the sun, would I like another? yes…)

the long wedding…

the long wedding…

Matrimony

so-
should I?
marry you
death-
now or then
why wait?
why the rush?
inevitable-
the perfect mate;
fate-
so let the courtship begin
and never end.
unless I should begin again;
reincarnation or resurrection-
so let the lantern be lit
so I may follow
into the path of light
.

in the know (the crows)…

in the know (the crows)…

crows on the rooftop there-
what are they trying to tell me?
(light signals switch, black eyes twitch- looking)
they are not permanent residents
at least not in this noisy cloister murder contingent;
occupying whole oak tree and surround
what is so special about this house (now)
what draws them so here and near
why do they understand better than I
they possess any land, under, the flown sky

notes… sometimes, OK, often I look out the window… and wonder, what draws a crowd, what is the call, what am I missing? something? or nothing more than a dinner bell? or deeper?

storms like tides…

storms like tides…

no, quite literally
just moments ago
or an hour, who can be sure
the skies were black with rage
and blazing flash
rain highway sideways, pelting the windows

so temporal, all this
so trapped in moments, we become

for oh sun, now shines
how light is cast against darkness

in contrast
I feel the despair leeching out of very my skin
as if being pulled out string by string
by an invisible, palpable, force of hand – yes
and quite suddenly
I am transformed
long forgotten, the storm