lost.love.letters.

lost.love.letters.

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how I miss you,
the taste of your lips –
my, my only love, for you are, this
(thought)

sometimes I wake
trembled in the corner
I made myself
where none
had yet to exist

I have painted my own portrait
determined, my own fate
my inner demons
the mask, now is my face

years,
and I am still here
staring,

looking out at the world
sometimes I dance along
most times I walk alone
and so-

I can not escape, this box
not by will or by smarts
just the end, determined by none
if only
I could really know, someone-
inside through and inside out
like I do, this house

gathering storm clouds come
the wood floor planks speak with age

my hands shake, with anticipation
or perhaps, just age again
so here I am

locked in this made hollowed cage,
sometimes,
sometimes my mind escapes
a hand turns the knob of the door
up into the sky, from the earth
into the stars, then I go
eternal, as light from fusion flows forth;
may I burn, like our sun
and provide that warm feeling, once more
on a child’s cheek
or provide the power to raise
the truly weak-
or fall,
to split a glimmer, of a tear
and may I find glory in the unfold
transform into all the colors as rhymes are told-
for a moment

but so returns the astral dreamer
back locked into,

into my cold dark corner;
hope is stoked by both sides in this
dreams may be the epitome- of murder

notes… I wrote this from the cuff, all tonight, raw, maybe could be more polished… I went over it maybe three times… but it makes sense to me, if it does for you, please comment, I am curious if my thoughts make sense to anyone, I post to make my art public, and my inner life public, because we are all alive right now, we owe it to each other as artists… maybe that sounds like bullshit or lofty, sure, but we are alive right now, together, for we truly are… and one day, one day too soon, we will all go away, my friends, we will all go away… why do we not live every minute of every day as such… we are caught up in the game… because, we are human… and I wonder how to express that and share that… with you…

fever dream space run… [oo]

fever dream space run… [oo]

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if I could book a ship
a trip
to the moon
to the stars
no, beyond
to float
to soar
escape humanity
and the laws
time and gravity
the helix that binds
release me from these bonds
to soar
to seek
to feel the universe upon
my hands, my feet
yes, a road
a path
the guide of mind
downloads a map
a compass of consciousness
glide
a mind
among the stars
and what I may find – there –
a realm of infinite possibility and life – my family.

imagining a scene… (poeming by numbers)

imagining a scene… (poeming by numbers)

20170122-ST-messydesk

interrogation of flies
I sit at my desk
cigarette in hand
half cocked, not lit
ashtray, ashtrays no longer exist
papers arranged by ear by year
slop across the desktop
or what the cat lady dragged in
priorities rise and fall like a tide
always coming in
always high tide
I would like to think I made something of this life
wife, kids
but no, here I am, here am I,
mired in this, my domain, my cage.

notes… in my head I saw this beaten down disheveled lifer newspaper guy, who can’t smoke at his desk furiously anymore, and like any of us he misses the “good old days” regardless if they were actually good, they were the routine, and most of us fall in love with routine, but then we wind up, here and there, with a waking moment like “what the hell am I doing here?” and then it passes as furious and visceral as it felt, falls back to the routine, so this poem is not technically about me but definitely has some pieces of me in the bones…

and…. if you do me the honor of sharing my content, cool, please do, just a hint of credit would do nicely though on the karma meter, and thanks for the look, the read, your time, I appreciate it.