recommended listening : jinsang – confessions (it was what I was listening too, well, besides nature, some chill beats for a chill day…)

“thoughts from my porch” – 8.24.2018

so I thought I might sit awhile in this night, I much usually prefer the setting sun (for obvious reasons), so another heat wave passed, and is truly like a wave, this swath of grappling, stifling heat creeps over the entire state, or coast, and bakes, for a little while of time all amplified by the mighty all-encompassing grip of our tiny lenses, but not tonight, the temperature has dropped to her knees, perhaps dipping twenty or more degrees, still – the chorus of insects is in midsummer’s form, loud, not raucous, all the clicks and songs of the chorus we know and can almost sing along (were we just crickets among the thickets), the mosquitoes are not quite biting as night’s before (was it something I ate, or are they just being polite?) cars are just two still beams gliding up the street, I can not tell who they are, just cars, vague vehicles of light, two beams and a set of reds on the back, a train calls in the distance, imagine that, such an ancient beast, how so far advanced we are although we are not, after all we still measure in horsepower, I observe some cars, with their manners, seem like they are looking for something, someone, certainly not me, no one has come looking in quite some time, what is there to see anyway? the same, just the same, maybe I need a break… no. maybe I need TO break – all this, all this familiarity I wear like a cloak, this safety, this hiding, all easier said, especially in my head – and with this pen, is it such the sweet addiction of fear that is holding the key from turning or just something simpler, the ravaging comfort of complacency? from the outside, this must seem like prime real estate, but on the inside, looking out, I can see the walls for what they aren’t, so, if I can see it, why not just change, rearrange, start over – ah, but that is just the thing, that requires a first step, in an unknown direction, and then another – and a destination, and of course here I am, sitting, thinking, instead, instead of…

moving.