maelstrom
the divine path
might I lead,
divine wrath
I might reap,
the divine spark
to light me through
this fierce storm in the wake
in the pursuit of the only grace
I surely fail
as humans break
as does my will
at times will fail
for all that drains my strength
to find the well that springs again
my faith
notes (this piece was written 1/21, comments today)… faith is not a particularly religious thing for me, we all believe in something, even if that is ‘nothing’ in the case of atheists, I am perfectly fine with both sides, why? I came to a calm in my mind some years ago, I know I do not have all the answers, am I more confident than some in my beliefs ? sure (I am trying to lose that). but I acknowledge the effect of ego and my experience on that belief. My belief does not bring me total comfort per-se as I am in limbo but yet there is some respite there in capitulation to the fact that I do not have the answers, how arrogant it would be for me to look down on those who have found theirs, god could be a goat named bob in wisconsin for all I know, and for all I know I will only be here a blink, so, I should not waste my time judging those that have found peace, so bless you all in whatever form that takes, me, it is just the universe, being alive, being in nature, but I am glad the human brain has the capacity to make movies for all movie goers (I just wish the floor wasn’t so sticky).
music> ? Yeah, I am all about that! here is some acoustic goodness, how this song never became big is beyond me… (of course Summerland (this is a fan cover, with passion) is my favorite song of all time)
I often wonder would I like to live in more primitive times, to be an ancient as it were, the television would be the sky, the logs my corridors, there is an allure to that simple life but perhaps only if you hadn’t dipped that big toe into the now know, but I try to imagine what the sun and moon would mean not knowing the spin cycle that is the reason for their being in motion, sure, the celestial bodies are still a wonder, but imagine seeing these spheres magically appear and change over the course of a year, has the moon lost some luster ? has the sun lost some bright ? doubtful… just tonight looking up at a cloudy sky, just one note color, but there, a fuzzy diffused bulb just hanging, close one eye and reach up with a hand circle spyglass, and you could almost touch the thing, even knowing in reality only a handful of humans have actually touched moona firma, and that was 50 years ago, half a lifetime these days, perhaps only a third of a lifetime just down the road, so is our wonder gone or just refocused ? does technology and knowledge disconnect us? I might imagine what it was like to be the guy (or gal) that figured out how to create fire on demand, the veritable steve jobs of their day, pimping Ifire, bigger Ifire, Ifire portable, but I imagine people got tired of Ifire when the only difference in Ifire 10 was charcoal briquettes, so I suppose, in all this prose, what I might be trying to say, it is all relative, all generations thought they knew the most, think of those that found all the coasts and what a revelation that was in those times, is the feeling the same now when we find a new exoplanet? or is it blase-faire ? I often find myself sky gazing these days during the day and star gazing the night when the sun is away. and so I muse…
tonight I find myself standing among a forest of naked believers limbs raised in praise upwards to the heavens vibrating in the breeze so I may look there and agree, with no roots holding may I ascend up into the stars to continue this journey into the celestial bounty
Music ? how about some space ambient… I listen to this stuff all the time…
Call me Ebenezer, or hey, just call me! I am not a big fan of V-Day, the premise is fine, albeit contrived, but I think we should strive to celebrate life spontaneously (when the muse reminds your eye), especially us creative types, the masses (maybe not so much)? I get it, but some of us follow blogs less traveled and thoughts quite more unraveled, maybe I am the problem ? sure enough, guilty as shot by that uber bachelor cupid.
cupid’s bow
so quaint and narrow
chubby little fellow
seeks hearts o fallow
with one swipe
one strike
this unassuming cherubim
wink’s his eye
and with that
strikes down all of them
notes: just some simple thing I wrote just now in the moment, the point? love conquers all (even cupid the seemingly ever-bachelor had psyche after all). I have a more “cupid” oriented poem that I wrote a while ago (seems like ages but I still like it, so sue me, well, don’t sue me, we don’t need that, let’s not do that, thanks)
music… one of the most seductive songs I have ever heard, pump up the volume, the bass lends weight to the lines… listen to the lyrics, oh the damn lyrics.. man alive this makes me feel alive (and want to pick up one of my guitars and just get better expressing myself that way)
I am trying to find a way, a reminder, some token to remind me every minute (or as much as possible) how incredibly miraculous life truly is, the amount of factors for life to develop (right at this exact moment) all these billions of years… take our planet on a purely scientific scale (I won’t get too heady, I promise), we don’t think about this everyday (or enough), we are right now (look at your feet) standing on rock islands floating on immensely insane amounts of magma that could torch us to cinder in a hot second, the crust of the planet, our “terra firma” is so incredibly thin, think of the Earth as an apple (whatever varietal strokes your fancy), the crust would be as deep as the skin of said apple (are you getting warmer yet?), furthermore our atmosphere (when viewed from space) is this little thin blue haze that barely extends out off the surface, add to that lucky potion the magnetic field that shields us just enough from the sun’s harmful radiation (but let’s in just enough to let life thrive), just for all those factors to collide and let me be present to type these words – in sheer amazement at the process of time and place, humbling, how do I hold this perspective ? or more surely, how do I apply this jolt, this feeling of almost infinite discovery of the miracle of everything, life itself, this draws me to understand why people wear crosses or other religious symbols, does that work? is the pendant around your neck or a tat’ enough? personally I am not religious in the religious affiliation sense, but I hold no grudge for my fellow travelers who are (I used to be that guy who thought he had all the answers and that those who believe were dumb, yeah, that was me), I am still looking for my personal ah-ha moment (not ‘take me on’), maybe I will never find the end of this path before I meet the end of this path, but! perspective, so much of our little corner of the galaxy (our city block in the country of the milky way if you will) is wrapped in such wonder that I might never wrap my head around it completely, but I know this… nothing we know of or probably will ever know of in our limited lifetime will ever account for all of “this”, I can only hope my foray into the mental exercise of perspective can help to remind me, every blade of grass, the look in my dog’s eyes, the touch of a loved one, the call of gulls as the surf rolls in and again, the stars carousel in the sky… this is a miracle, this life, always remember that as best you may in any times you may despair, think about the amount of things that had to happen just for you to be here, at this moment, truly an incredible miracle of reality.
If anyone has a good idea on how to remind myself or others (instead of just falling into daily routine)… all suggestions are appreciated! thanks.
music ? damn it, I am going guilty pleasure here, I don’t know why I love this tune so much… it is catchy as hell, I dare ya to tell me otherwise…
(my musings from my porch when I take a moment to take in and notice the world, sometimes poems, sometimes free form, always me… this is a series ongoing)
Photo by Benjamin Cruz on Pexels.com
I wonder where my energy has run off to, just the comfort of a snug bed on a bitter cold day, have I been body snatched and replaced by the twin pair of lethargy and laziness? or are the two consorting for an offspring in my form, my thoughts are short these days much like the hours the sun is keeping shop, I wonder about correlation, or collaboration against my will (or perhaps the pull of unknown instinct), either way I seem steered to submission by the cold iron grip of invading artic mass, perhaps this was just the crash my soul needed after a long week of work, after all I had two long jaunts into the night, with my only reward a full six days on top, sort of an oppressive sundae where the cherry is a bloody burdensome spike, I am not meaning to complain, I could walk away of course (and surely that sounds nice in due course in written words more fantasy than a battle plan), I suppose then I am complaining yet pretending to not do so, how veritably clever and not so transparent, so who might notice this anyway, a love letter, a complain notice, a tangent pamphlet of thought, posted by a celestial peasant pitching ideas out from this pebble planet cast out upon the shore of our galaxy, maybe all the answers are out there (not too far from reach), I think about going to attain them, there is a little spark in there deep down somewhere…
but a comfy bed, curled up, the dog as ready to snooze as I, this seems like the best answer to everything, at the moment.
(so, I close my eyes… lights dim… I drift off into dream)
a couple of simpler works (or even unfinished), they can’t all be war and peace people!
Photo by Burst on Pexels.com
arriving home
end of day
i cast off
my belt, like a snake
slithers off the bed corner
onto the floor
with a clang
i kick off my shoes
and my heels exhale
free of their tombs
shed the daily shell (12.2.18)
Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com
riders on the storm
charged with electrical force
we feel their downpour cries
we hear their voices roar
for chariots on fire
masters of our sky
so onward must they ride
riders on the storm
the long morning shadows
raise majesty in the mundane
winter sun reveals
as the world begs for more
unfulfilled (12.29.18) total writer comment, I loved second line when I wrote it, it felt like revelation
I was pondering some things (as I am known to do) and I never really thought of Frankenstein as a direct comment on our actual literal being, our actual existence, meaning we are basically these masses of flesh imbued with an electrical driving mechanism/nervous system (I am leaving out the metaphysical soul conversation, that is another topic entirely), but in essence we are frankenstein (or franniestein, or fran-stein, don’t want to be gender myopic these days as I might be carried off into the night to never be heard from again), we are this mass of cells co-opting a host from two separate organisms ///THEN… something jolts us into the life we are now (engaged in blogging, not sure if the the big G had this in mind but I guess omniscience would have anticipated this endeavor), so that is thrust of this piece (which I wrote yesterday), or at least that is my claim, the flag I am planting willfully…
miracle monster
dr frankenstein. was more right than I would like to know electrical charge transferred to this vessel catching lightning in a birth canal
I imagine I see the pitchforks and torches the rages – glowing in the distance inevitably they will come the outcome has been written and surely will not be undone
note: for those unfamiliar with my blog (um, most of the planet…) I post things as they are, I do not torture myself over things and rewrite stuff, these are almost always first takes (I am just horrid about working on things and write in the moment – just my way, not a comment on other (awesome) writers, it is just not me). perfection is not my thing, because I am so far from it and life is way to short to obsess, maybe I am wrong, probably, but hey, I can only do my thing and steer this ship (even if into rocks).
hey! thoughts, comments and super hot chili recipes are all appreciated !!! thanks for the eyes.
Intro: Some of the names/details may have been changed to protect the reputation of the participants but the core facts remain in this tale of utter woe and suffering (relative to the situation, which I found myself within just the other day).
So in my workly travels I might stop at a local watering hole (read coffee shop), I quite like strong and bitter coffee, so I was off on my way to Hempstead NY and stopped at the local, well, let’s call it “Starbox” coffee establishment (do not want to infringe on any copyrights after all, savy?), nothing seemed amiss in the LED light-washed down faces sucked into local vortexes, or at least this is not a miss if not the main in this day and age (maybe I am showing my age?), but more to the meat of the matter, I approached the counter, which can always be a puzzle in itself, which side do I go to? is this the line? is this person nose dove into their phone in line? what came first the coffee bean or the egg? I managed to find my way to the ordering type area, almost unaware of the signs (oh the signs) up on the registers, quite hand written (is that still legal), announcing that (warning: if you have small children please have them leave the room) the fancy coffee maker thing-a-majobber (or barista enabler mechanism) is quite broken, how could I not notice this semi natural disaster in the wake, this tsunami of disappointment brewing on the horizon, as I blythely ordered a large dark roast, I only noticed these harrowing words of torment as I awaited my hot cup of goodness (read: caffeine delivery system), the situation was brought more to a dancing bear under my nose by the next in line (poor soul), as he tried (in earnest and with great seriousness) to order some sort of latte, or frappucino, or hell-if-I-know, but whatever it was, it sounded impressive, but only to be shot down like a burning angel cinder, like Icarus himself so close to touching the fiery ball that rules this corner of the great milky way (boy I am glad our galaxy is not named whatchamacallit), I stood amazed, for a moment, at the spectacle, and how deeply felt the blow of the non latte was felled upon my fellow coffee house traveler, and on cried the fraught lad, lacrimonious roar throughout mocha frappa-land, and then as if guided birdboxly into yet another pit of iron rusty spikes he asks “does that (pointing to some perfection looking sandwich thing) come with vegan bacon?”, almost with a quiver in the delivery knowing his hopes are crumbling like so much a mountain in end times exploding, and then with another cold rebuke the answer comes handed down with ultimate thunder “no” (it seemed to echo forever and more)…
immediately the air seemed to escape from the room, surely the temperature dropped precipitously, all light now eschewed by utter doom, what is that poor lad to do in such withering circumstance? (not to mention those gathered in the twitter unison circle)
I felt the recoil, the urge, the itch, first corners turning, “I can not laugh” I think for a moment… but surely my growing, glowing cheshire grin revealing my burgeoning delight, amid the wash of this assumed morass of perceived category 5 dilemma, so with that, before I spilled guffaw right there all over the floor, I routed my route to the escape door, large dark roast in hand content with a spritz of stevia, a dash of cinnamon and the subtle kiss of non fat milk (from a cow of consent), grinning in all the splendor of wading through the casualties of this coffee house disaster. I will not look back and become a pillar.
(exit, stage door, enter car, back onto the belt parkway for work, take a sip, enjoy)
Thoughts, comments and all else is always appreciated, I bow to you O reader with thanks and commons.
I wonder. I am not in the artic, nor do I pretend to compare myself to people who live in such climates (hello my canadian friends!), but I found myself creatively lethargic during this recent POLAR VORTEX!!!! (sorry had to give it the due such a rad name implies), when did all this happen ? When did every storm need… a name? When did “wind chill” become the official temperature (for dire effect over the actual temperature) ? Well, much like news weather is now a monetized football and there is an arms race to the top of the mountain (with a social media kicker). We have tons more information than we have ever had but yet… we still get it horribly wrong sometimes (but things just move on and no one notices), like the last snowstorm we had here in New Jersey, it was a complete breakdown, I have never seen anything like that in my life here (and we have had plenty of blizzards), and also notice that there is no more official predictions about the amount/intensity of hurricanes (dr gray made this famous) because they were so wrong, so often, good life lesson here, as advanced as we think we are we still don’t have all the answers, apply that locally (I mean to yourself, you know, the local – you, and I will do the same)
the only sound the hollow scrape the husk of a dried-out leaf working across the way and the walk the cold has clamped and tightened wound life relents to hunker down days of hibernation pass just a lone streak of sunlight some singular hope of warmth suspended animation wakes the fore a rustle, a chirp life still is bound
notes… happy weekend folks! be well, be true, be you !
Shades of My Garden 