Thoughts from the porch… (me canto es su canto)

Thoughts from the porch… (me canto es su canto)

woman looking out of car window
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1)
here comes the sun, “cue the music my good man, make it so!” (hey, I have been watching Picard, slack me), and so by comparison this is a bounty, a parade, a glorious celebration, when not taking phone calls about windows computing pratfalls I venture outside to literally soak it in, the applied balm for what ills when stuck inside for days at a time, behind brooding clouds and held down by winds of lousy content, the rain is good for the green but perhaps not for the heart I think, maybe not the most scientific method, but in this, I must trust, something else – instinct.

abstract arachnid atmosphere atmospheric
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2)
a single spider thread catches my eye, winking in the sunlight like a mirrored line, just one thread, not a web, a prelude to a night trap, and I can see the quarry, there is a small swarm of some type of insect milling about, haphazard to my eye but they know their own purpose, no doubt, a mild winter and a wet spring, there will be lots of bugs around this summer (pun intended if you catch my drift), but these winged fellows are not bothering me, so I can’t hate them for their relations, their pesky cousins and whatnot, we all have them after all, we choose our friends, not our families, I imagine insects are the same, can’t blame the fireflies for the mosquitoes, at least that seems unreasonable to me, it would be easy to parlay hate of one insect bite into a whole genus, and that would be unwise, besides, there is a chain in place, at least for now, a pecking order, or a picking at the buffet order, I imagine the spider putting on a bib, lining up a table, knife and fork in hand, ready for the bounty coming.

blur branch celebration christmas
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3)

the lower branches
the little ones, as I call them, finches and that sort to be clear, seem to love the bosom of the bottom branches of the bushes, especially the evergreens, the short ones, the stout ones, vertically challenged I believe is the ‘nome de acceptable’ (my term)… either way, it leads me to think of the lower branches, certainly not as much sunlight, not as easy to navigate than the outer reaches, protection from the rain perhaps, the sanctity of closed spaces, for three, four, more I see them, darting in and out like feathered laser beams, so exact, quick, manic seeming even, I wonder if I resemble that after three cups of coffee, or so I am told I can be high wired, these little ones, a maelstrom of fidgets, I imagine the lower branches appeal to their sense of security, or fear of heights? nah, that would be silly for a bird, not this one (me) but I should not transfer my human fears onto them, I take note of all the hierarchy, air and ground, what led each to such choices, noble patrolman, the robins, like guards, running back and forth on the grass, not bird-like at all, even squabbling over land claims with their own, blue jays seem undecided, maybe they just take the best of both land and wind, I see them scavenging on lawn and wing, the mourning doves content to feed on feeder scraps, easily spooked and fled, with their tell tale ‘coo coo’, nature has produced many successful designs, mine included, I just wonder which branch I would gravitate to, how about you?

woman wearing black top
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4)

I can see the wind
what a strange thought, not literal, but yet not false, entirely, wind is sometimes a bludgeon, other times a feather swipe, today she is cascading, moving across in an unmarked mass leaving footprints across all the leaves, and there is where I can see her, flowing across the surface, as the branches bend and release, ever closer, I can see her approaching, and then in an instant she has rushed over me like water on an outcrop river  rock, as I am not a natural thing with my feet roots not quite firmly planted like most everything else, I happen to be observing, an interloper of sorts, that is, and this is more of a gentle deliberate freight train, so behind in steps sisters the same, nearly the same bends and waves as I watch them approach, anticipating the moment of break upon my space, across my face, my hands, temporarily dousing the warm of sun, so you can be lullaby-ed again by rays in the next moment, ah the blessed sun, where have you been hiding all these days?

notes… well, a mixed bag incidentally, so am I, I must admit the muse seems more absent these days, maybe, but what do I know ? this was all written today in various forms and modes, things catch my eye, my pen is another thing, my pen… or this keyboard, sometimes it varies, lately it has been all freeform for the most part, stream of consciousness and the like, the poems seem faint and distant, I have a well I can draw from but man that all seems old, I like to post new, I have hundreds of pages of material, but after you move on and look back? it seems old, dated,  there is really nothing like the immediate…

the procrastination meter…

the procrastination meter…

square analog meter
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the procrastination meter, is running low, dare I say dangerously so, all the little things I let slip, “ah, I’ll do that tomorrow”, flip to next week, flip the calendar month, even then half a year, I am not the worst or best of the sort, just normal human affliction on that score, much like everyone I suppose, or I hope, but the lists, the things to do… are dwindling, quarantine is whittling away the idle me, even if I am working six days a week (thankfully) I still have way more time on my hands than I am used to, the daily commute, that commute that I used to so love loathing about (and spouting about here), is gone, distant, the only reminder the new-ish SUV parked out there napping next to my lawn, maybe twice a week I venture out to the store, no more, I honestly can’t recall the last time I filled up on gas, I guess my boss is saving on that, and the daily tolls to troll up the turnpike, at least two hours a day, time, like a lost precious locket, back in my pocket, I must admit, for the first week or two I did not do much with it, just a love affair with my snooze button, ten minutes per love tap, no need for the shower and looking proper, and no, I’m not one of those half naked to the mailbox guys, I do at least dress, just not sunday best, or wednesday worst, comfy tech-support-you-can’t-see-me-anyway clothing, but even still, the little things around the house started speaking to me, I mean I have no real excuse now, do I? damn logic… hard to argue with damn logic, all the things I told myself I would do, I have no choice but to do them, procrastination feeds greedily on a flash busy life, and I used to be moving top fuel speed all the time, but now? when days stretch into days into days, and the weather has been, well, gloomy would be slapping a nice smile on things not smiley, the odd sunny day seems like a dream sometimes, isn’t this supposed to be spring ? I’d ask for a refund but I lost the receipt for such things ages ago, besides, I hear there are no guarantees, warranties or exchanges, this ‘new normal’ so called is droning on and on, well, at least I am getting some things done, but I am not sure if I miss the comforting touch of past procrastination… a trade off to being back to normal, or maybe a lesson can be learned and merged…

PS: did I file my taxes yet ?

a moment, in touch…

a moment, in touch…

duckthe wind, is an overture
roaring, under conductor,
like an inward ocean learned
cresting and breaking among the trees
I listen for the conversation creaks
as if, to contemplate them
but even foreign songs have a tell
and perhaps my earth memory is quelled,
a spring day that presents more like september
brilliant blue sky that belies the weather
bamboo leaves flipping spinning
like an old duck hand carved weather vane, tapping
flapping wings with might upward against the stream
and stops sudden, a moment, an exhale, perhaps
the sun, with effort, tries to warm the day
just enough for the brave , to peek out, to partake
even just for a split second, top heads poke, gingerly, above the bow,
I am swept into this sea –
this blend of seasons, a menagerie
the rise and fall, the beat and pulse
wishes drop like coins into mother’s well
the facade of the world surely around
invisible and faceless
in touch with such bounty.

notes… just a feel thing, a moment, trying to draw the reader into my experience, maybe successful, maybe not, brush strokes against the canvas of reality here in quarantine-ville, the music… starts a little slow, but kicks in around the 2 min mark….

thoughts from… ah, what the hell this is random… (but still from my porch)

thoughts from… ah, what the hell this is random… (but still from my porch)

woman with rainbow light reflecting her face
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only with these eyes but these, a pink swath of clouds, there is no perceptible breeze but the trees seem slight shimmering, slow belly dancing, mesmerizing, as I lose myself in the display, focusing only at a particular patch of sky, framed in by branches, twigs, the world sounds flowing, people talking walking by, cars hum on the distant main road less-ly, no planes however, how odd, this afternoon, at least, no eyes have seen, or ever been, to see this exact distinct scene, which begs the question, is this just for me? I feel, I feel slightly guilty with hand half cocked in the cookie jar of the natural wonder, caught, charged, or is this for all who wish to take the time to take this in, for this is spectacle, a convergence of all time to create a quiet place, moment, trace, in space section now, power lines provide context and bisect vision into windows, a lonely goose honks somewhere in the any-direction distance, the rare car speeds by , an anomaly, these days, I count the laps of the walkers and bike riders, never more than three, universal subtle mystery, this is the inner works of the new clockwork of this suburban street, I’m not sure if the robin on my lawn is winning the bidding war, so strange, most human sounds, now, are secondary day by day, out here, how easily we have been tamed.

Notes... part of my porch thing, since I don’t commute (but still work) I do have the time, the need, to sit outside (socially distant of course) to observe things, well, what I can from my little sphere, granted I am writing more of these these days, things change, I change, my blog changes, right now this is what it is and I am what I am  (is that a popeye reference?), anyway, seriously thanks for any eyes (content pun intended on this post) and your time, all thoughts and comments are always appreciated, unless I know you and your motives… but that aside, thanks all, we are alive !

inspiration just strikes at times…

inspiration just strikes at times…

gray concrete triumphal arch surrounded by flowers
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upon the entrance of coventry dawn
forced to march single file toe
asked to be masked identities known
filed past great strong walls silent
such walls with no signs, but stained with mandate
while on the outside the great thousands die
the weak, the old, the ill –
those who can not pay up the price,
and there on massed in great coventry hall
those huddled with luck, a buck and more
for all the protection this frail fort proceeds
all but will with a tiny breach
to crash down with vicious might
a wave, a break, the weight of blight
in that previous moment of told hope
within the seed of doom a fire took
for this dragon has teeth we’ve seen
the world has turned time into a stretch on lean
the privilege of life has but one catch
survival has born down to just one match

notes… to show you how strange inspiration is… the first line of this poem literally just ‘came to me’, I had no idea what it meant, and then I googled “Coventry“, yeah, strange, it all made sense in my head after that, and as I always say my poetry is what it is, I have always gravitated towards the classical models (shelley, lord Byron etc.)… so for whatever reason, if there is one I write this way, why fight it? There is no right way to do art, just produce your art from within, listen to yourself, you are literally billions of years in the making, might as well make your mark, my friends…

thoughts from the porch… (a storm hence)

thoughts from the porch… (a storm hence)

photography of dark clouds
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the blind man and the technological dream coat
I imagine this is the sound of mining, of the pounding chatter of a quarry at peak, for here we are ensconced in the throes of an information age, wrapped quite tightly in our digital holy blanket, and yet, along comes a spider of a plague, or just today (literally today), the sweep of a stronger than most storm system, rolling through these parts with purpose, an agenda, like a horizon long bullet train, tearing at trees, throwing undulating wave-walls of rain, trees, inevitably, bear the brunt of the break, groaning and retching tossed in the gale’s wake, rarely do storms rally for an entire day such as this, consuming hours like candy, tossing tinder like trinkets…
oddly, though, I do not fear the roaring of this early spring lion, I fear consequences, but the wind itself is somehow comforting, as all else noise is cancelled thoroughly, no cars, no traffic, no horns or radios thumping, nor animal sign or sound, just the wailing pendulum thrush of the wind testing the mettle of every item in bounds, the purposeful fury of nature, is calming, as the hours pass,  then…
and there is the thumping, the pounding into the ground, now that all the weather drama has subsided, I always like to take a walk along the lawn after a storm has passed, to see what did and did not last the lash, nothing of sort to note this day, the usual litter of elder limbs that were on their way anyway, nothing too big, nothing threatening certainly my life or limbs, this hardly seems like the same day now, the sun is daring to breakthrough now, bathing the backs of the remnant cruising clouds, the backlit clouds flowing by like milky orange blossom tea blooming, as I continue to listen to the metered pounding, rhythmic sound –
my neighbor’s mailbox was a casualty of the day, well, not mortally wounded, but down for a spell, and his was, well is, a so much nicer mailbox than mine ever was, so as I write, letting the cleansing wind surround (as the tempest is quite tame now), he pounds, to open the ground, for a new post, a stronger root, digging a hole, digging a hole has not changed much these thousands of years, of that I can be quite sure, and before I realize the time gone, he is done, the mailbox is back up.
thoughts from the porch… (a northern thing)

thoughts from the porch… (a northern thing)

heli
maple tree to ground control…
one of the surer signs of spring, in these parts, as endemic as the tides of fireflies on a summer’s night, is the buds of certain maples, that magically (or quite naturally) turn into winged machines of flight, the helicopters… only if Leonardo could have seen you in action, I imagine his inspiration would be confirmation, only nature in all revelation could make such an amazing creation, spinning perfectly in the winds, seed pods, more like wings, but in our local tongue and lore, all I can recall is that they always were… helicopters… you could swim in a storm of them if you tapped a branch just right, spinning around with them until the ground halts the dance, a whirling dervish of birth, when done you could simply scoop up a handful and rejoice them into the air, and all again little spinning tops are dropping all around, maybe this was a first lesson in gravity and design, and yes, the brilliant crafty nature of life itself, but there was none of that awareness when I was a child watching them rain down like conjuration, just the open wonder, every spring, the helicopters would arrive, a play thing provided by the earth and land to a child’s delighted eyes, a miracle of design heralded by millions of dizzied wings whizzing by, and they are still not just some common explained plain seed pod, from time to
time, I will pick one up, toss, and watch them fly, taking me back and reminding me of days gone by…
a prayer… (for those on the front)

a prayer… (for those on the front)

people wearing face mask for protection
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a prayer for those in the face of disease
for they are the faces we see
when life is most precarious
or stretched out on a bare thread
we look, to them
an army of the courageous
stewards of duty bound
to put aside the self
for the betterment of we
a prayer for you
for strength
for purpose
for divine providence
in these times of great need.

notes… my thanks to those I know in the field, and those I do not. Sports, a multibillion dollar industry has gone silently and quickly into hibernation, that might be all you need to know about what is important to all nations…

thoughts from the porch… (scattershot)

thoughts from the porch… (scattershot)

analysis blackboard board bubble
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I suppose there are those that might call this a daily meditation, and that’s fine, to me it is more of just unscrambling my mind for a time, opening up as best I can to the world, to listen for the voice, a sound, a thought, whatever the universe deems on dropping off at my front porch…
watching the clouds lazily cruise by, much like those lazy river rides that surround and about in waterparks, there is something about just letting yourself drift with no care about destination, time, purpose, just the being of nothing, hand dangling in the water, spinning slowly in the sun, that is what these clouds remind me of tonight, and maybe that’s the point, there doesn’t always have to be some profound reason to be, sometimes, just be…
I suppose this is my cathedral of sorts, the trees across the landscape like spires climbing into the night, upwards higher than I could ever reach but tethered to the ground, quite like myself, everything is bound to this ground in some way, the clouds, the birds, we are all cradled by an invisible umbilical created around this humble earth, a protective layer encases us in the most inprobable of manners, and for us, is just a matter of fact, when even reminders are right there, an almost full moon spies down on the scene, and surely does not look like the actuality of it’s domain, cold, breathless, battered and barren, from here just a cheerful companion reflecting the light of the sun in various phases, so close, so close to us in cosmic terms but so far outside the miracle of our atmosphere that allows us to look up and wonder…
I think there is a tangible perception, unconscious, about walls, I think our mind somehow knows and can perceive walls, think of a cold day when you finally get inside and shut the door, it is almost as if the cold is gone in an instant, and conversely I think our minds know when walls have been keeping us in, cabin fever, or whatever you might like to call it, even if you are perfectly content I think we are meant to be outside, at least part of the time, after days of dreary weather the prospect of just the simple kiss of fresh air on my brow is intoxicating, no walls, I actually find myself able to expand my mind out, open up the floor plan as it were, as I look again and watch the clouds draw my breath and slow attentions.

notes… usually my train of thought stays on the lines, tonight, not so much, but that’s fine, I am not defined, I have no idea what I am, I just am, this site let’s me be that more so than I can be in person, in every day life, I would love to say I am this internal sprite all the time, no, more or less, or less, I am trying to marry the two, we all have to dance, we know what we do well, we know what works, and we work it like a performance at times, to be yourself completely, yes, that is the goal, I am swimming toward that buoy, I hope not to drown before I get there.

thoughts from the porch… (lions on lawns)

thoughts from the porch… (lions on lawns)

silhouette of dandelion behind sun
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my index finger and thumb stained with the yellow of slain dandelion heads, how visceral my hatred is for these little beasts, I can not say the origin or recall, I’ve just known these are the bane of all lawns since the dawn of the great suburbia, invaders, interlopers, never to question that they must be rooted out like cancer cells that threaten the purity of the host, staring down at my yellow fingers I realize all this silliness and history stored within me, items we have just taken, absorbed, whole and then compartmentalized for a lifetime, how foolish, but how human, how me.
instead, these lions should be seen as more, they are heralds, bright harbingers of the spring, even with edible leaves, and then there is the transformation, from a golden disc that sings then sleeps, then without even the cocoon of a butterfly, up rises the perfect disco ball of cotton spires, delicate sphere loaded with airships to transport the future to all corners the imagination or wind or beast can reach, a lottery which odds are obviously good, a simple engine of design, probably will outlast all our technology, the simple dandelion, to be admired, truly.

notes… listen up and listen good, I was there in that audience in 1994 about 20 rows back left of the stage, listen all the way through, you’ll thank me…  just listen… this footage was cut from the official release… but trust me, in person it was electric… and when they did Manic Depression, they brought the house down…