6.10.18
I think I quite understand
a portrait
a polaroid
that moment
proof of same
an upbeat tune I am sure you never heard of (I specialize in the obscure….), but if you like the Beatles you should dig this, same vibe imo…
Photogenic.
Tag: Poetry
respite. relax. refuge.
as I am prone and known to do, I like to lighten the load on my loafers towards the weekend… I just got off the phone with work (a brutal installation that had me working 38 hours in 3 days…ugh)… so I need to reach back and relax, take a deep breath…. relax… so. some not so serious quips from my quiver … to deliver – to you. and why a lion? I’m a leo of course if you could not tell from the braggadocio of my vernacular.
5/31/18
for sale
by the owner
no one likes the listing
no one is listening
“parts” 6.3.18
replace love
so I go to the love parts store
but there is nothing there
that I haven’t bought before
the model I owned
is no longer in stock
buried in years
universal clock
6.7.18
I am an oyster
with the pearl removed
they say the cause is an irritant
if this is true
I would like very much
to be bothered again
by you
Music!!! what could be more fun than scatterbrain ?? ? cmon now… ! I can’t believe how old this is but it brings back memories… they had some great tunes, dude…
fallen angels.
“fallen” 6.14.18
so I know how they felt
the angels that fell
eternal cries
of pain
separated from your love
shattered
broken
cast into a dessert fire
sweltering heat
never ending sun
my skin boils
cooked to the bone
but this –
surface agony
compared to the realization
is nothing
the separation
the fall
for all eternity
Notes… I’m not religious (and hold no ire for those who are, more on that some other time as I have a bunch to unload on that topic) but you would have to admit (if you love a good story) that the bible certainly has some great writing in parts (other parts of the bible are just instructional and clearly written by clergy with a mission imo… I’m talking the sodom and gomorrah type of stuff here people!).
Specifically in this case, I love the play of free will vs. obedience to god… sort of a conundrum (if you have free will… won’t god know your choices anyway etc?), but also the fall… knowing you made the wrong choice and now you are confined to hell (figuratively) due to your own actions. Now I am not claiming to be lucifer (the rebel leader)… more or less a lesser angel without that much pride to take on the big honcho in the sky but caught up in the moment… these are all the ingredients baking the cake in my head on this one… not sure if I conveyed it all in the poem, hey, I’m just a guy with a blog, cut me some slack jack.
Tunes… time for some blues, I got those lost woman blues, the I ruined the greatest thing I will ever know blues, I didn’t lose her – I screwed it up, so all I have now is me and my guitar. Gary Moore “There’s a Hole”
guilt.
“I am, Ruins” 7.18.18
can you forgive me?
can I forgive myself?
NO.
the guilt
like a captor
a cage
becomes familiar
a house
with common walls
closing in
circling
blinds the view
no windows
no doors
huddled in the corner
struggling against the bindings of my guilt
under the weight of stone
tattered clothing
barely covers
broken form
cold wood boards
floor creaking
talking
reminding
the key-
to forgive
out of reach
beyond my sight
I can not see,
my mouth, my mouth pantomimes
Help… Help… Help…
(and softer…)
…help –
until a whisper
then just a murmur
quakes across trembled lip
quivers
-help
a single tear forms
and draws
like a blade that strikes out against the world
(help)… (help)… help me, please… please…
No cute notes or music on this one.. I think I will let it stand for itself. -dmk
Just listen…
Stephen Marley “Cast the first stone”
Kind of reminds me of Stairway to Heaven… but man alive this speaks to me… close your eyes, just listen… trust your ears… and… trust me.
Eons…
“eons” 4/29/18
I have no want of death
I do not wait for death
yet, the flicker of humanity
will extinguish
and the planet may pause
spinning eons by
carrying some other passengers
until the sun
burns out a billion years
the milky way
one star less bright
one less spark
against the canvas
of absolute night
who might notice
who will bear witness
no sky to look upon and ask why
death will have stolen all
from this little corner
of the universe
I actually wrote something about 9/11 today (in my car reciting it to myself until I arrived at work and feverishly scribbled it down)… but it is something I actually want to work on due to the nature of the moment (very not me, I know, you know if you read anything I write that I am usually just in the moment of now)… Every day I drive a certain section of the NJ Turnpike (geez, what an arcane term) and a hill crests where you can see NYC like a postcard (over that abomination of a train station)…. thousands of cars, we all pass this every day vision in the distance, so close you can almost touch it, I wonder how many pause and are struck by inspiration, surely not the A-hole in the Infiniti all over my bumper… I used to have road rage but now I smile more, because where the hell are we all going ? really? plus I have great tunes on my USB stick….
So I posted the above because I am determined to post everything I write for the most part… good or bad, this is not about me showcasing my best stuff.. this is me unloading on the universe that which I am driven to create, and share. I do not claim to understand how this works, if it works… or anything… if I can touch one life I suppose it is all worth it, even if that life is just mine.. maybe I am a fisherman throwing out my line into the ether… for another her… a companion or just friendship… I’m not so sure about anything anymore, the more mistakes you make in life the less you trust yourself, but you are better at hiding it… so much better…
Obvious (sort of)
Take a Walk in the Woods. Doctor’s Orders (NY Times article).
now… I don’t claim to be some svengali or genius… but getting out into nature seems like a pretty natural thing. Interesting read but I think it misses the main point… getting away from the grind of the common everyday gears we are party to in our “normal” lives (those of us who are not independently wealthy or write as a hobby not work). My zen is totally getting off the grid (OK.. not that far, I’m not a savage ya’ know) but at least far enough to feel like you are somewhere else (at least until a plane flies over). The routine of work can be just that… a routine which leads to boredom/samedom/dumbdom/doldrums… even as busy as my job is, sometimes it feels all the same, and honestly going to work in a cubicle in a converted warehouse probably is not the ideal human situation (but hey, I need to pay the bills and buy truly dumb stuff). So I guess it is a question of balance. I’m not saying I have mastered it.. damn far from it… the blog helps, it is an outlet but… I can do better to be the real me I think (well, I know, but the effort seems counter intuitive at times… but then time passes and you realize you’re just being an ass worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter)… I am human, I can’t say I wish I was something else, I just wish wisdom came in bite size and I could have consumed more along the way…
“back yard” 5.27.18
all these leaves
apartment complex of trees
they are only seasonal tenants
to soon all gone
back down into the world
until next spring
when new tenants
once again
move in
“games” 4/7/18
robins and jays play stratego
for sky and place
the jays are sky dwellers
robins roam the ‘scape
the board is set
the game is framed
timeless battle
so, engage
So… I thought about not posting any music as I was having trouble coming up with some linking idea, but as usual the me pulled through: “Nature’s Girl” – The Jelly Jam, Ty Tabor is the reason I ever picked up a guitar in the first place.
Life and the cosmos…
“the edge of the earth” 4/25/18
I am standing at the edge of the earth
ready to step off
into the universe
maybe our current existence
is actually a flat surface,
so I might fall
into dimensions
of curved comprehensions,
of life
travel back
future past
or perhaps beyond time
subsiding on another string
extending consciousness
by some other means.
I think about life… and death. I have no memory of any life before mine so am I destined to be just a grain of sand… who disperses into the nothingness of the vast ocean of the universe ?
life began as a proton having a menage a trois with some electrons leading to a single cell organism living happily in a puddle of chemical muck of amino acid building blocks… and then that single thing decides to replicate (as we all want to do but amoebas did not believe in birth control apparently)… eventually pull itself from the slime (some millions of years later) and climb onto the land … and suddenly has the choice of a galaxy or an iphone.. truly evolution.
for this poem I am invoking a bunch of science… I am saying we could be ‘flat’ not referring to Flat earth belief… but that we think in 3D when there are other dimensions out there.. so we would appear flat to something in a 4D universe (I am also referencing string theory), I know, heady stuff… but I if we just live and die.. what is the point ? I want to believe there is more… we all do.. some have religion.. some have science… I have nothing… I am still looking, hoping, searching…
music? Living Colour “Cult of Personality” … this song rings true for decades… plus Vernon is just one bad ass guitar player.
People watching…
I was stuck at the same store for work pretty much all week. Not to complain (it was cool to be out of the office honestly). Red Bank NJ is a really nice town so that was a bonus. But working on computers in supermarkets does afford me the opportunity to people watch in the live zoo environment. I have been doing that but in a different way. I try to figure out what went into that person, literally meaning, all the circumstances of life and time that lead directly to the person standing there (the ingredients for that particular cake)… it is daunting to think about but… also fascinating, and then juxtapose that with me just being in my little corner of the earth and this concentration of events and experience that makes individuals goes on like a grand machine billions of times of day across this world which is so incredibly tiny against the backdrop of the cosmos… Hard to wrap your head around, but I try (or maybe that is the way my cookie head crumbles). Then I wondered what these people see… when they see me.. the posture, the body language (do I have a big dumb forehead? do they check out my butt?). Do we ever really look at ourselves the way other people do ? Can we ? I suppose social media helps that if you are honestly yourself in videos… but do people act the same (totally) when a camera is on ? (There is the scientific theory that something changes when it is under observation) I wonder if future generations will just have cameras all the time and just be… because that is all they will know (Truman Show?). These are the things that bounce around my mind. The following should have been part of my live poetry jam I did a couple weeks ago but I totally forgot I wrote it.. I am human after all (my co workers may have issues with that statement).
6.18.18
supermarket
the faces
races
ages
generations
one by one
all in line
check out
with no exceptions
A simple thought.
6.21.18
my infer-structure
is crumbling
I can no longer
understand your subtleties
you tease
you flirt
I never noticed or observed you
like this, from afar but close
I couldn’t imagine posting this under some cool topic where I could blather on and on about this that and the other thing… but I liked it so… here it is. I do not feel like explaining the first couple of lines in an American context right now.
Music for the evening ? pretty trippy… Voivod : Angel Rat, stay for the chorus, you probably never heard of them… but ask Dave Grohl about them…
Shades of My Garden 