Generally speaking I am a very easy going fellow, an optimist, a lover of life, and frankly I have had a pretty easy life compared to many (and I do need to remind myself of that more often perhaps), but sometimes, life, puts you in situations you KNOW about but don’t want to dwell on or even think about the reality of same… Today, was one of those days.  I am keeping the details slightly vague but specific enough so you get the gist of it.  I received a call about a certain relative that could not get out of bed (they are getting up there in age), I was on my way to work but of course as dedicated as I am to my job (admittedly probably too much) a family flush does beat a straight job in the poker game of life, well I essentially had to carry them from their bed into the bathroom, and to be blunt their bladder was not listening to their mind (you can fill in the rest, it was not pretty. I can only imagine the embarrassment on their part when you live your whole life and now need help for the basic things), oddly, none of this hit me at the exact time, I think I went into “nurse” mode and just did things instinctively, later on the whole scene had a much greater impact on me and is sort of stirring around in my head (not in a particularly good way), I am trying to process this into the positive realm because I really believe in that…  So what’s my point in all this ?  To cull your sympathy ?   To share what maybe others are going through and not talking about ?  Maybe…  but I think if I boil everything down it comes to love.  Tell those you love that you love them, time is limited, be thankful for life every moment you can, sure, you will fail, I sure as hell do, but I work to make that my goal and walk in that direction (sometimes distracted, sometimes focused), put love out there, sounds almost pollyanna-ish but what’s the alternative ? the older I get the more things seem to come down to the simple things we all inherently know but may not always practice moment to moment, and maybe that is a lesson to… practice… it won’t make perfect but practicing the good will at least focus some positive energy in that direction.

I didn’t think I would write anything today, I am quite mentally exhausted because besides what went on this morning work has been absolutely brutal this week… but more brutal than confronting the aging and dying of loved ones and what that looks like ? nah…

Blessing 10.4.2018

divine sunrise
thankful for this life
greeting dawn
at first light
the privilege mine
to awake
with these eyes
and see.
thankful for this life

notes… if you read all this, thank you, stories, comments and vignettes are always appreciated.