6.10.18
I think I quite understand
a portrait
a polaroid
that moment
proof of same
an upbeat tune I am sure you never heard of (I specialize in the obscure….), but if you like the Beatles you should dig this, same vibe imo…
Photogenic.
Tag: New Jersey
respite. relax. refuge.
as I am prone and known to do, I like to lighten the load on my loafers towards the weekend… I just got off the phone with work (a brutal installation that had me working 38 hours in 3 days…ugh)… so I need to reach back and relax, take a deep breath…. relax… so. some not so serious quips from my quiver … to deliver – to you. and why a lion? I’m a leo of course if you could not tell from the braggadocio of my vernacular.
5/31/18
for sale
by the owner
no one likes the listing
no one is listening
“parts” 6.3.18
replace love
so I go to the love parts store
but there is nothing there
that I haven’t bought before
the model I owned
is no longer in stock
buried in years
universal clock
6.7.18
I am an oyster
with the pearl removed
they say the cause is an irritant
if this is true
I would like very much
to be bothered again
by you
Music!!! what could be more fun than scatterbrain ?? ? cmon now… ! I can’t believe how old this is but it brings back memories… they had some great tunes, dude…
fallen angels.
“fallen” 6.14.18
so I know how they felt
the angels that fell
eternal cries
of pain
separated from your love
shattered
broken
cast into a dessert fire
sweltering heat
never ending sun
my skin boils
cooked to the bone
but this –
surface agony
compared to the realization
is nothing
the separation
the fall
for all eternity
Notes… I’m not religious (and hold no ire for those who are, more on that some other time as I have a bunch to unload on that topic) but you would have to admit (if you love a good story) that the bible certainly has some great writing in parts (other parts of the bible are just instructional and clearly written by clergy with a mission imo… I’m talking the sodom and gomorrah type of stuff here people!).
Specifically in this case, I love the play of free will vs. obedience to god… sort of a conundrum (if you have free will… won’t god know your choices anyway etc?), but also the fall… knowing you made the wrong choice and now you are confined to hell (figuratively) due to your own actions. Now I am not claiming to be lucifer (the rebel leader)… more or less a lesser angel without that much pride to take on the big honcho in the sky but caught up in the moment… these are all the ingredients baking the cake in my head on this one… not sure if I conveyed it all in the poem, hey, I’m just a guy with a blog, cut me some slack jack.
Tunes… time for some blues, I got those lost woman blues, the I ruined the greatest thing I will ever know blues, I didn’t lose her – I screwed it up, so all I have now is me and my guitar. Gary Moore “There’s a Hole”
Just listen…
Stephen Marley “Cast the first stone”
Kind of reminds me of Stairway to Heaven… but man alive this speaks to me… close your eyes, just listen… trust your ears… and… trust me.
Eons…
“eons” 4/29/18
I have no want of death
I do not wait for death
yet, the flicker of humanity
will extinguish
and the planet may pause
spinning eons by
carrying some other passengers
until the sun
burns out a billion years
the milky way
one star less bright
one less spark
against the canvas
of absolute night
who might notice
who will bear witness
no sky to look upon and ask why
death will have stolen all
from this little corner
of the universe
I actually wrote something about 9/11 today (in my car reciting it to myself until I arrived at work and feverishly scribbled it down)… but it is something I actually want to work on due to the nature of the moment (very not me, I know, you know if you read anything I write that I am usually just in the moment of now)… Every day I drive a certain section of the NJ Turnpike (geez, what an arcane term) and a hill crests where you can see NYC like a postcard (over that abomination of a train station)…. thousands of cars, we all pass this every day vision in the distance, so close you can almost touch it, I wonder how many pause and are struck by inspiration, surely not the A-hole in the Infiniti all over my bumper… I used to have road rage but now I smile more, because where the hell are we all going ? really? plus I have great tunes on my USB stick….
So I posted the above because I am determined to post everything I write for the most part… good or bad, this is not about me showcasing my best stuff.. this is me unloading on the universe that which I am driven to create, and share. I do not claim to understand how this works, if it works… or anything… if I can touch one life I suppose it is all worth it, even if that life is just mine.. maybe I am a fisherman throwing out my line into the ether… for another her… a companion or just friendship… I’m not so sure about anything anymore, the more mistakes you make in life the less you trust yourself, but you are better at hiding it… so much better…
Obvious (sort of)
Take a Walk in the Woods. Doctor’s Orders (NY Times article).
now… I don’t claim to be some svengali or genius… but getting out into nature seems like a pretty natural thing. Interesting read but I think it misses the main point… getting away from the grind of the common everyday gears we are party to in our “normal” lives (those of us who are not independently wealthy or write as a hobby not work). My zen is totally getting off the grid (OK.. not that far, I’m not a savage ya’ know) but at least far enough to feel like you are somewhere else (at least until a plane flies over). The routine of work can be just that… a routine which leads to boredom/samedom/dumbdom/doldrums… even as busy as my job is, sometimes it feels all the same, and honestly going to work in a cubicle in a converted warehouse probably is not the ideal human situation (but hey, I need to pay the bills and buy truly dumb stuff). So I guess it is a question of balance. I’m not saying I have mastered it.. damn far from it… the blog helps, it is an outlet but… I can do better to be the real me I think (well, I know, but the effort seems counter intuitive at times… but then time passes and you realize you’re just being an ass worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter)… I am human, I can’t say I wish I was something else, I just wish wisdom came in bite size and I could have consumed more along the way…
“back yard” 5.27.18
all these leaves
apartment complex of trees
they are only seasonal tenants
to soon all gone
back down into the world
until next spring
when new tenants
once again
move in
“games” 4/7/18
robins and jays play stratego
for sky and place
the jays are sky dwellers
robins roam the ‘scape
the board is set
the game is framed
timeless battle
so, engage
So… I thought about not posting any music as I was having trouble coming up with some linking idea, but as usual the me pulled through: “Nature’s Girl” – The Jelly Jam, Ty Tabor is the reason I ever picked up a guitar in the first place.
Life and the cosmos…
“the edge of the earth” 4/25/18
I am standing at the edge of the earth
ready to step off
into the universe
maybe our current existence
is actually a flat surface,
so I might fall
into dimensions
of curved comprehensions,
of life
travel back
future past
or perhaps beyond time
subsiding on another string
extending consciousness
by some other means.
I think about life… and death. I have no memory of any life before mine so am I destined to be just a grain of sand… who disperses into the nothingness of the vast ocean of the universe ?
life began as a proton having a menage a trois with some electrons leading to a single cell organism living happily in a puddle of chemical muck of amino acid building blocks… and then that single thing decides to replicate (as we all want to do but amoebas did not believe in birth control apparently)… eventually pull itself from the slime (some millions of years later) and climb onto the land … and suddenly has the choice of a galaxy or an iphone.. truly evolution.
for this poem I am invoking a bunch of science… I am saying we could be ‘flat’ not referring to Flat earth belief… but that we think in 3D when there are other dimensions out there.. so we would appear flat to something in a 4D universe (I am also referencing string theory), I know, heady stuff… but I if we just live and die.. what is the point ? I want to believe there is more… we all do.. some have religion.. some have science… I have nothing… I am still looking, hoping, searching…
music? Living Colour “Cult of Personality” … this song rings true for decades… plus Vernon is just one bad ass guitar player.
A simple thought.
6.21.18
my infer-structure
is crumbling
I can no longer
understand your subtleties
you tease
you flirt
I never noticed or observed you
like this, from afar but close
I couldn’t imagine posting this under some cool topic where I could blather on and on about this that and the other thing… but I liked it so… here it is. I do not feel like explaining the first couple of lines in an American context right now.
Music for the evening ? pretty trippy… Voivod : Angel Rat, stay for the chorus, you probably never heard of them… but ask Dave Grohl about them…
The idea of space…
“inner space” 4/24/18
concentrate
I try to feel every atom
the space in between
science tells me so
I travel the air inside
for the answers to this world
“the empty space” 7.12.2018
I am standing
on the end of all known land
I am staring, wondering
I know all this
all this, empty space
and inside
am I just the same?
time ever pulls me on
I struggle
to grip what is beyond
what to make of the landscape
behind
for that which shaped me
and is spent
forward, grinding
until nothing is left
the personal erosion
the never stop heart beat
involuntary breathing
I am falling
into the emptiness
submission
a life’s fulfillment
a dream
has come to an end.
So science (at this time.. because real science changes all the time) tells us by observation that space is actually pretty empty (that’s why the little voyager probes will probably outlive our civilization… 70s tech will last a billion years! oh the power of hot stuff!). Of course there is the new grease in between the creases thing (see what I mean about science evolving). So there is immense space in between things but we feel so … connected in our tiny tiny corner of one galaxy in the vast immense insanely large universe… hard to wrap a primitive mind around… so that is what I was thinking about… the space within our space and how we fill our space within that space. Heady stuff… but… we only have one life, why not contemplate it all, even if it is much easier to just eat work sleep… I am no different, I’m trying to be, to focus on being a phoenix because I know I am, we all are (well, honestly not every one, I am talking to you, those reading this who have that spark), we choose normal (even our normal) because it takes constant effort to be the pinnacle… but we do owe it to ourselves, even though we will fail… but at least we can get some stuff done… my opinion.
music. super chill ambient. Seti “Pharos”, of course SETI is the project to try and detect alien life using the world’s best radio telescopes (like the amazing Arecibo array). This album is a total trip through the cosmos, you can almost imagine the stars as you travel past them (well, at least I can). draw the shades or curtains, lay back, turn up the bass a little and imagine flying through space passing stars, asteroids and planets… and contemplate what Frank Drake was trying to quantify… definitely some super food for thought. I appreciate all comments and feedback.. and criticism.. man I love complaints because how the hell am I supposed to see this through your eyes? hint: I can’t!
Teterboro
“Teterboro” 5/4/18
runway on 46
daffodils in the median
to my left
going west
probably home
the roar of jets
touching down
the thrust of flight
taking off
in a minute passed by
as I drive
A very NJ-centric poem (links to explain for those out of state), a place I drive by all the time, but never took the time… to notice. The jets feel like they are on top of you as they land/take off on this little airstrip tucked into the folds of strip malls and all – in the cross hairs of the highways 46 and 17.
Shades of My Garden 