sometimes the drag…

sometimes the drag…

somedays this feels
like being buried alive
I can sense the nails driving through the pine
see? no, I can hear them though
like they are piercing dead skin
sinking below the trees
into the calming realm of roots
sinking beneath the sprouted fields of youth
a faded diamond of sand above
rust dragging half a fence falling down
hanging heavy with weathered ivy
half brown but still fair cover
(for my slumber and eventual… release)

notes… so sometimes I think about the end, will I have awareness, or consciousness, or… anything ? was I only born when I was which would explain my actual naivety? or am I unaware of my past cosmic past? surely the universe has used these molecules before, just not in this particular configuration.. or yours, if you are asking… the whole entire existence of everything has come down to this, me talking to you, in this moment, or maybe whatever moment you read this, think about that, it is an amazing thing… the entire universe decided we had to be… I want to hold on to that, I want to embrace that, and I try…

the nature of a voice.

the nature of a voice.

voices are distinct, such as we, think about how much goes into a particular voice at any particular time, time, yes, time, genetics, body type, the evolution of ears that are around for the voice to enter, the endless amount of variables that makes a voice unique, because they all are, and then suddenly, like all things, there is silence, that distinction, that amalgamation of so many things… is gone. Never replaced by the same, there is no way to duplicate the recipe, sure, one can try, and maybe even bake something close or near a clone, but never, never to be exactly the same, so that voice has gone out, like a snuffed flame, once a life consumed, a remnant only in memory of a distinct sound, a singular voice, gone out, a golden disc, destined to roam the stars…

voices disappear
voices go out
like lights-
once guided, gilded
gilded lighthouse that surveyed the shore
gone, swallowed by the surf of years

and perhaps not all are lights
but some are
we come to trust
to guide
lessons learned
beards grow long, and grey
salt in the air
whether calm or fray

a beam we rely on
even when we know the way, so well
a voice gone
taken back into the sea
a light out
never replaced to be

notes… in tribute to my father, been a year now, he was not perfect, so neither am I. But his voice, the noise, the frequency… there is silence in that space since, his sound’s occupation is absent there… and is missed.

fuzzy (trapped between the two or?)

fuzzy (trapped between the two or?)

“fuzzy
is this a dream

or a memory
or the chi.ld.mera of the two?
tea for two, only with you, of course
a fuzzy room, white-light diffused blinds
forms form obtuse outlines
no sharp designations or edges, soften
red tinted-felt tucked in victorian furniture, plum scented
fancy attachments adorned to wanton crowns
perhaps I am phasing out-
I hear myself, having conversations
I hear answers, but in no language to my understanding
might I panic in this blurred reality?
somehow though calm has the best of me
is this how this ends?
is this the heaven of the self?
or paradise lost in paradox
set beyond all living clocks
built inside our inner blocks
limbo cycles lock to lock

notes… going a bit old school metal on you… this band became… nah, I won’t ruin it…

my island…

my island…

Photo by Asad Photo Maldives on Pexels.com

may I stay
and sway
forever, in the lands beyond
like a frond
of a perfect palm
hand drawn

stark outline
in the setting sun,
shadow on sand
dancing,
to the gentle song
of the waves
sliding,
into the shore.

notes… if, no when, I go to sleep, for in this life, I wish to be on the shore, water is the force of life, and I want to be at that shore for all time, if I can be, or least that is my dream… I hope this work conveys that sentiment, for it is my sentiment before I become sediment for I will… all my love, all my consciousness will be transferred to that, that golden shore, of my dreams, and so will I be, for the immediate eternity, a dream along the beach, so I hope, so I dream….