thoughts from my porch (summer solstice edition)…

thoughts from my porch (summer solstice edition)…

photo of dark clouds
Photo by Andree Brennan on Pexels.com

(music to read by)

if ever there was a day, a day to ride the light from dusk ’til dawn, today would be that day, and so it was, and so I did, I would love to tell you it was some great plan of mine, some great scheme, but I would be lying, just the random circumstance of life forcing my hand, would I be droll if I still said
“this was a long day”
that would be both empirically accurate and anecdotally emphatic, because of the way it felt and this is, truly the longest day of the year by actual time measure, but other yardsticks poked their rule-y heads up this day, I had a store to open on the East Side, New York City that is, waking up at 5am to get a jump, showered, the dog walked, rye toast in tow, in the car by 5thirty, cruising, the sun not rising, at least visibly, only rain clouds writing the morning forecast on the canvas out before me, and then, then the faucet opens, full tilt, pouring, all of a sudden my dreams of beating the traffic become being the traffic, I get over the bridge and onto the FDR, I can not say what the “F” stood for this morning but it certainly was not Franklin…
so the freeway was doing it’s best impression of a parking lot, so to have a shot at being on time I hopped off on Park Avenue, making sure to avoid the guy with the sign in the middle of said FDR (a very common occurrence), cut across, 40 blocks down, all the while the rain beguiling me with change of pace, a constant game with my wipers engaged at the right speed, so I arrive, sort of on time, I must admit I scoped out a local coffee joint to try, so I loaded up on a latte, got over to the store grand opening, pouring, pouring  rain, a grand total of ten customers in two hours, does not make the time fly I tell you, so the time passes, mostly all goes well, that chore doused, store secure on their own now, noon, around the corner I walk into the parking garage, slap down $38 buckaroos for 5 hours of parking, a guy drives up next to me standing, and rolls down his window
“hey, I will only be an hour”
I don’t recall wearing my garage attendant uniform, I look down and check anyway, nope, not today, besides I am holding a mouse and keyboard, not exactly common garage guy fare, from my experience at least, so I cheerfully offer to take the car off his hands (a spankin’ new mercedes sedan no doubt), it would be a nice upgrade after all, he realizes his mistake, and is very apologetic, I wasn’t offended anyway, with that charade passed I make my way back to HQ in jersey knowing there is a pile of files waiting for me to wade through and down, unfortunately, I am quite right about that pile, except little fires keep popping up and I am brigaded to those tasks while the pile grins at me, gleeful, for it knows it has gained a temporary stay of execution, the governor’s call has come in, for today, at least, admittedly the time passes faster in this bowl of hectic, I hardly notice the rain has hopped on a cruise out to sea and given way to delightful golden rays, six o’clock rolls around, predictably, right at 6, I figure over 12 hours is quite enough off this already…

silhouette of birds flying over body of water
Photo by David Skyrius on Pexels.com

so here I sit, the day has turned about, this morning was like a dreary monday dragging and now I am leaped to an ending friday, a perfect 70 out, truly a tale of 2 sittings, the sun is slowly sinking, the wind is warmly chilling, two baby jack rabbits are grazing, even the usual rambunctious crowd of local birds are just listening, I look out, at this familiar scene, I loosen up my mind, my body, I let my limbs drop limp, I look out and pretend I am a leaf on one of my trees subject to whim, letting the breeze rock me back and forth, to and fro, swaying, filling my sail as the wind sees fit, setting my compass to none, just letting the ocean of air wash over me in waves, with each moment draining away my worldly cares, whisking away the baggage from earlier in this day, as the curtains close, on this, the longest day… the solstice, from dawn to dusk witness, the solstice.

notes (porch series) I write these posts in a certain way, I scribble them down in one of my notebooks, try to figure out my horrid handwriting (best done if I type it in the night I write frankly), these are pretty close to rough drafts, one drafts, one take, whatever you might like to label it, I edit it a bit as I post, but that is it… pretty raw, just the way I work these days, I wish I could just run a cable into my mind for you and give you a remote and let you drive… but this is the best I got at the moment, so enjoy, and thanks for the eyes, I appreciate one look, any look, 1 million looks would be nice, but would it make my post any better or any worse ? nah…  and I am cool with that, thanks.

the transformative nature of nature (and clouds, at least this occasion)

the transformative nature of nature (and clouds, at least this occasion)

golden hour
Photo by Nur Andi Ravsanjani Gusma on Pexels.com

(music to read by…)

there are some nights where I can just watch the clouds, flowing by like a lazy, winding river through vast swaying grassy plains, slowly pushing – towards the east in procession, yet another part of the sky is more like a river of smoke, shadows of random forms of no form at all, the pace, the pace, the pace is hypnotic, slow but methodic, the only break, breaks are the occasional diamonds and triangles of a solitary bird flight off to some local destination, here and there, but mostly this is all encompassing one long lone exhale, I am gradually forgetting the day, the work, the traffic, it is all dropping off somewhere behind me, as I stare, and contemplate – the very air, the atmosphere itself, letting enough space in the space between my molecules, my atoms expanding and rising until I am that loose connection of clouds, slowly, calmly, meandering, wandering across that evening sky, sliding up over like a blanket being tucked for a child’s lullaby, before the sleep, I’m at ease, floating freely, loosely, high above the grandest trees, as a cloud, a river of gas of varying degrees, I’m at peace, I am part of the world no matter how small a piece, I am at peace.

this is part of my porch series… just sit out on the porch and let things flow… barefoot in shorts these days as the weather has been a friend… tonight’s musical selection (linked earlier) is Eric Johnson – Arithmetic,  a mellow tune, a nice sentiment, fit my mood…

as always, your thoughts, insults, barbs, thanks, likes, suggestions, they are all welcome, I take requests… whatever that means… (I guess I will hash that out when a request comes in….)

the revelation of a pop-up positive exhibit (short-read, positively)

the revelation of a pop-up positive exhibit (short-read, positively)

shallow focus photography of grass wit droplets of water
Photo by Free Nature Stock on Pexels.com

“the rain last night was steady, not readily heavy, just steady, and so I slept, with my window open, the subtle hum of white noise storms soothing, I suppose since the temperature dropped nicely there was no seething bath of humidity outside, this morning or otherwise, showered, dressed, I walked outside, as I usually might on my daily ritual jaunt to work, and
paused . . .
sometimes a myriad of consequence appears, you just have to take up notice, the rain had left remnants, droplets, on all the green surfaces from grass to bush to trees, the signs of the storm are everywhere and… the world is absolutely shimmering, the sun is hovering, revealing the quiet splendor of this morning’s exhibit, fields of greens and aquifer diamonds affixed, I imagine this is what Ireland is like, if I had ever gone, everything else seems to melt away into this microcosm of understanding, this standing moment, or movement of a moment passing through time and my eyes, the sky is truly blue, I know, it is not *really* blue, scientifically speaking, but does that matter? and should I be so clinical, I would rather take it in, or rather let it take me in, let the blue expanse wash over me like a tide-less ocean, perceived waves undulating with the current of positive energy, I close my eyes to internalize this power source gifted to me, to ride me through the normal tribulations of suburban life, today, and so invigorated I get in my car and drive…

…and here I am just a mere few hours later, having all this morning’s wonder quite chipped away by the grind of car fumes, traffic, road construction, acidic gossip water cooler conversation, irate customers assigning emergencies to minutia, and all the other toxic components life throws at you in the constant…
…so I step outside and reflect on that blue sky of unseen tides, this morning…
I must learn how to temper my steel to withstand such assaults or risk the abuse that my daily sharpening to cut through will produce diminishing returns, as at some point no base metal will remain on the blade, better yet might I just learn to reflect or side-step what I can, focus on the positive regardless of the position of the present, it all seems so tidy as I write it… I just have to live it…”

(deep in…hale… slow ex…hale…)

and with that, I say goodnight…. (music: humanmeshdance – giant clouds)

porch poem from the other night…

porch poem from the other night…

bright daylight environment forest
Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

yes, see, the world has awoken
the bounty of spring has now been open
life leaps forward sky and ground
for the trees are fullest now
full now within the grand display
however within lies a great irony
they cast more shadow now
than on any winter day


I wrote this other night when I was writing this post, I am little behind in my work (posting things that is)  because last night I got home after 3am from my real world work, something like an 18 hour day top to bottom, not a complaint, just a statement of fact, I wonder how many of you have jobs that require these overnight hours (no diss to you parents out there, I get it, not comparing), it is a strange existence, things are surreal, driving back and forth from the Poconos during a crazy rainstorm, fog and downpours of epic proportions, dodging 18 wheelers on route 80 screaming by in the night kicking up temporary tempests of road rain, windshield wipers from zero to 60 and back again, driving out there seems like there is no civilization and then… boom, you pass the Delaware Water Gap (literally like passing through a gap, you see the river and both sides, kind of like a crotch) and then, then there is … life, towns, seemingly created on the fly out of nowhere, a relief, and then the after, driving back, the sheer stark darkness out there, the narrow corridor that is route 80 and 202 (I think) out there, isolating, trying to concentrate and make sure you see your lanes, coffee as a copilot or a hope, following the lanes, the reflectors, trying to read the minds of the other drivers and their endeavors, speeding up when deemed, moving over when demons race at inexorable speed, but in the end, I made it home, and sam (the dog) was waiting, something about a dog just wanting to go outside made it all worth it, she has no idea what I go through in a day, she is just there, just the same, so I gave her an extra treat… don’t tell anyone…

is hope a candle, a star or the false light of human kind?

is hope a candle, a star or the false light of human kind?

candle with light
Photo by Anugrah Lohiya on Pexels.com

(musical recommendation for reading)

even the universe shall have an end, hard to conceive of, I know, are we just the microcosm of what our science perceives, of course we all wish to expand our experience into infinity, the eternity of time, when all the while we know all things have an end, even this, maybe our concept of hope lies in the loop, of coming back around again, after all, matter is not created or destroyed, all matter that is going to exist exists now (as far as we know more or less), matter just gets repurposed like that half an oak barrel that is now a feature in my garden (ok, maybe not the most elegant example), but this combination of matter (me), this particular one wishes to persist even with the knowledge, the certainty that I am just a place holder for something other, how can I look hope in the eye with that and seek truth,

how or why can I harbor hope…
but somehow… but somehow…
…I do.


sky sunset red romantic
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

music tonight… Tycho “Japan”, I will admit, I am a total fanboy but I think it is warranted and I have been touting his work for years, he works in multiple mediums not just music…  the one link on top is the vocal version, this is the “instrumental” version (modern instruments that is… electronic), I just dig it, it scratches all my itches.

thoughts, from the porch…

thoughts, from the porch…

architecture building daylight garden
Photo by Gary Spears on Pexels.com

(music to read by)

I listen for the distant cars, hoping they will turn down my street so I might know who they are, I stare out at the same view now as always, some might think it unremarkable, or what different things might I see in this common canvas, that I have not seen before, many times before, but I suppose that is the trick of the thing, the longer you look the more you are apt to reveal the nuances and subtleties you would not get on first glance or random chance.
I was out earlier than usual today-tonight, the robins are singing, not in unison, but individually like a one-up-man-ship contest (but in a cordial manner), much unlike the bickering they engage in when it comes to nightly quarters, the shadows of the leafs on my japanese maple are like dark diamonds dancing on my walkway, all because of the breeze, a little show for me or anyone who cared to pull up a chair to the attraction and pay a modicum of attention, pause the real world and just breathe for a second or twelve, so I sit, barefoot, as weather permits, a bumble bee does a fly by across my bridge like tom cruise, and I must admit I quite flinch and then grin at the ridiculousness of the situation, his only weapon is a suicide sting and I am this big bulky thing between him and pollen, his death blow would be mere inconvenience to me, certainly not a pleasant experience but certainly not worth the jumping apprehension I felt on first impression, it is good to catch yourself now and again, and examine your immediate reactions, the why behind that particular reflex…
a little ant is making a run at my big toe, I feel revulsion, surely it is a strange sensation as it works it’s way above my nail, but against initial instinct I do nothing, I have better things to worry about (I tell myself), of course I am not totally sold on being out of the moment, I can’t seem to forget the little traveler now on toe number two, I look down and upon my feet and wonder… how many miles do I have on these things? and looking further wonder how anyone could have a foot fetish, to each their own I guess, the sun is fading, the world is turning into silhouettes in the rising dark, a lone bird on a lone wire, leaves, trees, all 2D cut outs now, a slight breeze flows across and brings peaceful calm, as the world slows, as the world slips… into sleep (for those not nocturnal)

(this is part of my porch project, so be it, and thanks for the read, I do appreciate it)

Dogs are the great equalizer…

Dogs are the great equalizer…

buildings surrounded by trees
Photo by Reynaldo #brigworkz Brigantty on Pexels.com

(music to read by: old school, new school)

Today was the type of day you would want to be in New York City, the city is many things at many times but just sometimes, and rarely… near perfect (well as far as a city can get), I had to open a store @ 7am on West End Avenue, not my thing, the whole early morning thing, waking up at 5:30am is a hideous assignment for me, but I knew there was a Starbucks just a block from the store, so personal fuel was assured, worked my first shift (I won’t bore you with the details but if you live in the area it is really nice supermarket), anyhoo… left the store around 1pm this afternoon, just under 80 degrees and the city dwellers seemed to be flexing their new summer wings, winter, while not harsh was long, and rain has reigned as of late, so something had to give, and the city bursts forth on days like this,  before they become mundane or the norm that is, when I can I choose to drive on riverside drive (riverside park spans most of the west side of Manhattan), I highly recommend it if you are ever driving in the city, especially on a balmy semi-summer day like today, you can roll down the window and enjoy the sights and sounds, there are lots of people to gawk at, um… I mean ‘observe’, the trees lining the road, various foliage among managed gardens, Grant’s Tomb, the river and all manner of boats on said river, and those iconic open top tour buses… all are far better window dressing than some random tall nondescript buildings when you are stuck in traffic anyway, at least to this traveler.

white dog terrier jumping near grass field during daytime
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I happen to be a dog person, if you are not I order you to vacate this blog post haste, or at least lie to me and tell me you love dogs, if you renounce your anti-dog blasphemy you may read forward, this time at least, anyway… I started to look at the various dogs, all shapes and sizes, and I noticed they were attached to humans of all shapes, sizes, colors and orientations, I could not find a pattern, I thought I might (my mind tends to work in that direction), but there was (surprisingly) sheer randomness in the dog-park kingdom in terms of human/dog pairing, big burly dudes with little foo-foo dogs (like say a Pomeranian) and quaint little waifs with large mutts (a Rottweiler for example), there was every shape and variety imaginable all routing around in this tiny (by comparison) city park space, there was no dog assigned to various colored humans, or a dog that seemed more apt to any gender whatsoever (or one that seemed concerned of same), the general purity of the human-dog relationship kind of struck me there, and maybe also a quick punch to my own expectations… dogs see people, people see all the rest.

notes… all thoughts, questions, inquiries, oddball requests, and recipes to temper habaneros are appreciated… oh yeah, and likes/follows, that seems to be a thing, I heard…

I call these “thought poems”…

I call these “thought poems”…

person wearing blue jeans sitting on bench
Photo by Bas Masseus on Pexels.com

5.14.2019
the terrors of the night
they come for me
night after night
they come for me
but yet, I survive
so do they even exist
anywhere but my mind

5.15.2019
I shadowbox at night
admittedly
not quite the fair fight
but my desire to win
has become-
addiction


notes… I call these thought poems because, well, I felt like it, damn, that does not seem like a valid reason, hold on… (pacing), I think these are like haiku in intent, meaning to deliver a feeling or a thesis where not all my poetry endeavors to do (man that sounds so much better), sometimes I am just a distiller trying to distill, because that is what distillers do silly. I must be daffy, it is one of those weeks, work is bonkers nuts and my home laptop SSD drive is dying/dead, I had to take the thing apart tonight to recede the drive, my crazy insane dork laptop crippled by a SSD… hah… ah, life is ironic.

music notes
Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

music to contemplate by (as I am known to do…)

>>> Minus the Bear – Pachuca Sunrise (live in studio)

this will always be my beach/ocean song, I was in the keys when it came out just watching the aqua blue waves roll in with thunderstorm clouds spotted and rattling in the distance, I can not describe how surreal it was, sitting there, my feet dangling off the dock into the warm waters of the gulf stream, translucent glistening surf in moonlight, lapping waves, cracking thunder, palm shadows… and this tune…

one poem becomes another… and stays mostly the same (maybe)…

one poem becomes another… and stays mostly the same (maybe)…

grey car beside tree
Photo by Griffin Wooldridge on Pexels.com

original:

I should be inspired
by the shoots of grass
in the cracks
of the sidewalk

Fired up my Haiku-inator 3000 (c), this is the model that can cut an aluminum soda can in half for no apparent logical reason, it can also fry 40 pounds of food without oil, it can chop nuts like nobody’s business, but mostly, just mostly it transforms mundane every day american poetry into haiku, so I browse the instructions (I mean how difficult could it really be, plus I never read the instructions on anything anyway), ok, fold in half, place in tray, press the ‘presto‘ button (I can’t believe the manufacturer is implying there is actual magic involved… oh the hubris), so anyway with some beeps and whirs… and this weird non chromatic clicking, almost like a vending machine vending, out came this…

an inspiration
shoots of grass in the sidewalk
life will find a way

I still have 3 more payments of $9.95 on the thing (I think, I have to check my statement),  it is warrantied of course (again, for how long I have no idea), the my pillow guy said I should keep it though, sounds legit…

…if you missed the link I am repeating it, tonight’s musical suggestion that is…

>>> Rush – Presto

one of those bands that is a like em or not band, I get it, geddy is a bit nasal, they are a bit prog rock, but I guess that is what makes the world go round (well, that and the actual laws of the universe but let’s not get into that right now…)

and I would be remiss if I did not say thanks, for the eyes and the time, all thoughts and such are appreciated, bricks through my car window… not so much.

thoughts from the porch…

thoughts from the porch…

architecture berlin building car
Photo by Daniel Frese on Pexels.com

(music to read this by)

I was driving home from the market tonight, I like to cook my daily lunches in advance for at least part of the week, color me captain prudent, guilty as charged, for some reason, just tonight, a revelation lit up the confines of my car, well, perhaps maybe not as dramatic as an alien abduction, more like a realization in the moment, I noticed (to my left) the strange architecture of a house on some random side street I have never been down, and in fact passed twice now just tonight alone, and all these side roads, I even know their names by heart, but I have never thought about turning down one of them, I always ramble on the familiar path right past them

  – every – single – time

there could be inspiration lying in wait there, interesting cars, strange landscape choices (or cool ones), familiar animals doing familiar things in an unfamiliar setting, sheer possibilities to add to the flavor of my personal recipe, a love interest perhaps (OK, maybe I should stop myself, Fabio, I am not), point being, there is an obvious metaphor slapping me about the face with a cold wet fish (yech), so then to why, why do I not explore each and every corner of everything within auto-shot of my door, why? is it just the calming comfort of sameness, the opioid of familiarity, I would like to think of myself as some elevated being, an independent beacon broadcasting light at my own wavelength separate from the common walkers of this life, but, in truth, with all my high mindedness am I just as much a slave to routines, unable (or unwilling) to break the barriers I put on myself, is it an instance of instinct, intrinsic to our nature as humans? or is it risk aversion even if the risk is nothing more than the gentle prod of the unfamiliar, I act as if some random ten minutes of my life holds some great worldly importance, we all become myopic as we are driving this flesh machine with our minds, I think the trick is to recognize this and let go of these tethering things, they brought us here (as a species) but maybe now are the appendix of our psyche, I strive to experience things from a new objective, I can not truly change my perspective, I am me, I can merely change the prescription on my contacts and go forth to look from there, but like all things it must be in steps, I am not a dive into the deep end of the pool kind of guy, that much I know and concede, but I am also not the tip my toe in the water to get accommodated guy, I reside somewhere in between, I wrote this after I arrived back home, I took the usual way, of course, were you expecting more? I have not taken that first step yet, but at least I know it is out there to be had…

landscape photography of body of water under cloudy sky
Photo by Frank Cone on Pexels.com

tonight is not as delightful as some lately but it is very calm, I just need to remember here and there to explore as much of this world as I may get the chance, be it some exotic location or just that random turn down a street I have passed one thousand times, the world will not end nor bend on the comings and goings of me, although I may feel that way at times, silly as it may be, the world just is, with or without me, and I should carry that like a symbol on a chain, or a bracelet, or ink inlaid in my skin, time will always win, but I have been given time, this time, I own this right now time and space until my least breath, life is truly miraculous. I must always remember that, life is precious and the confluence that created this life is a miracle.


This is a segment of my Porch Project… I do not always get inspiration from it, but I highly recommend going out on your porch, deck, or whatever and just let the universe talk to you… human intervention and interaction does intrude, but go for it anyway… you might be surprised by what you find…