I almost think of myself as a 9/11 snob, and not in a good way, I think (feel) that people in the rest of the country do not feel it the same way I do, or people who live in the Tri-State area do (here that is NY, NY, CT).  I am not saying that to be confrontational but more or less how can someone in Kansas (just picking a random state, relax Jayhawks) really understand what 9/11 really means to us…  I drive by ground zero all the time and it hits me without fail, that absence… that missing, the lives, the voices silenced.. it is a constant reminder in lower manhattan, there is a hole there, THAT hole, I know families that lost sons, guys I went to high school with and hung out with (not close friends I do not want to exaggerate)… that very easily could have been me in a heartbeat given subtle life changes, it could have been my brother who was doing work for Verizon almost into that week under the towers, it could have been my cousins who were all city dwellers until that day…

I imagine Oklahoma City residents go through the same thing… they live with the horrible horror of the memory of the bombing… how often do I ever think of OK city ?  never…  I can’t even recall the date, and I won’t google it to pretend, I am writing this right now… so it is all relative.  I imagine the people who live right where the boston marathon bombing remember the day of their bombing…

I am not criticizing or … well, I am totally unsure of what I am doing, I am just writing, who cares what the hell I write anyway, it is what it is… this day, this goddamn day.  I can’t fully explain the feelings even now.  I wrote the following months ago, and I am going to do the obvious thing and post this on 9/11, this day deserves reflection, I get it that everyone doesn’t understand… but this day..I’m … out of words that make sense.

“twins” 7.17.2018

NJ Turnpike drive, my daily commute,

up and over the snake mountain bridge

and there she is –

through the morning hazy glory

new york city skyscape

laid out like a postcard

I can reach out

touch the buildings to which I’ve been

but then, there is –

the missing

 

The Twins.

 

born the same year as mine

stolen from us

voices of the thousands – rise

lost now to memory, into the sky

how soon we forget

how slow we rebuild

we are charged by the gravity of their fall

to remember, the lives

the lives we lost

their silence since

their silence still

the lives, lost in that skyline

that day in september

we promise –

for all time

Remember.