keeping a mental image…

keeping a mental image…

IMG_4249as I sit here huddled in a hotel room in Elmsford, NY (for work), I try to be positive, well, I must admit the hotel is nice, no complaints there, the weather outside? eh, we were supposed to get this crazy storm, turned out to be a normal one, it’s cold to be sure, snow on the ground, that heavy wet snow that can’t decide if it wants to melt away or just fall into your car in heavy avalanche sheets the second you open the door (happened), I don’t hate the winter, there are times the snow hangs out on the tree frames like a perfect frozen gallery, it catches the light, and is quite beautiful, but not to drive in, not with people up here bearing down up my rear end as they are much more accustomed to driving these parts, man the anxiety builds, being stalked followed so closely when the two lane road becomes one, and one with ice, crunching under my tires seeking the dashed lines mostly obscured, I talk to myself as if the two bright lights behind me can hear me, “what are you doing? where would you like me to go?”, I have all wheel drive but I still would rather not pretend this is some sunny perfect day, I contemplate pulling over and over and over (is that a good spot?), I do not understand pressuring drivers in this sort of weather, but I only had five scant miles to travel from the store I was at to my temporary slumber chamber, I was counting, ticking off the tenth miles on my GPS, trying to balance (tame) my mania about pulling over to let this jerk-off pass, and finally I come up on the hotel, on my left, I signal, there is only one real lane by plow, so Big Mr. Pressure behind me all of a sudden becomes a shrinking Lilly and slows down, what a dick, and they pass freeze frame slo mo as I make my left, range rover… now going slow as a sloth, slower than I was when I was the lead dog, man that is typical, but at least I am ‘home’ for the night, at least tonight, just have to find a spot, why the hell is a hotel in this area so busy on a December night ?  All the well, I find an adequate spot, I debate the old ‘should I prop my wipers up’, I don’t, I just want to take a shower and crash, thankfully this place has good water pressure, ahhh, damn that is nice, relaxed, and here I am… the photo? Cape May from a couple weeks ago, it reminds me to relax, that’s all…

the first gnash…

the first gnash…

animal bear bored close up
Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

the first gnash of teeth, against me, my skin, piercing fangs, I thought I was prepared, I have seen this before, I have experienced this before, so many times as memory serves, the summer has softened me, the fall has cautioned me, but no, nothing prepares for the veil, the drop of the curtain, the stark view from the top of the cliff as your fear falls off, the reveal of the cold that makes you recoil back into your shell, and in this early fall day this is this, a first grasp, a first gnash, grabs at me, anything, any skin revealed, causing scurry into the indoors, the bite, the jaws, the abject cold, how it penetrates, all your charms and armor just fall by the wayside, cast aside in a moment, so prepared am I that I am still unprepared for the full frontal, the full front swept across the plains, slamming into the northern states, but more so here, just north of where I usually tract, but yet, I am here, dealing with the bend of the jet stream just south, just south enough, twenty degrees, twenty degrees, can it be? the time for outside ends, so soon I think, tomorrow morning I wake, to scurry to the car, huddle in place to let it warm, oh sweet autumn, where have you gone…

notes… wrote this last night in a fever pinch when the temp in westchester NY dropped into the 20s, I was in some foreign hotel, away from home but I have to say the hotel was comfy and had damn good insulation, elmsford NY, I can check that off the bucket list, well, I doubt many have elmsford on their bucket list but it is not a bad town anyways… I checked in around 6pm, parking lot had plenty of options… went to dinner (really good), came back around 9pm and there was literally one spot left, woke up and checked out by 7am and the lot was nearly empty… strange man, strange…. but up the street to Pleasantville I went, I have to say the local Starbucks was one of the most well run and friendly I have ever been too, and they know all the regulars and bang out the orders, for those of you who turn your nose up at Starbucks (and the prices), try the just the regular coffee, not the ‘triple lindy caramel choco double frappe half zebra latte’ or whatever, for the price the regular coffee is damn awesome, I like the Pike, or Sumatra, just a splash of skim… but that is just me… and I did have some amazing sashimi today with my coworker Alzira!