an act of lucid dreaming

an act of lucid dreaming

(dream of consciousness post)

am I a practitioner? or just practicing to make perfect (as I have been told by voices, in the folds of books and by grinding on-n-on the stone myself grind down for good), as nightmares can scar can not dreams… inspire?
so real I did not wish to wake, not a movie I was watching, this is happening I thought, I felt – with all sensations, a heart race, a pulse race, the pace, all of it, the sights, the slights of hand…
and there she was, and I just knew, there was less than zero doubt, so familiar for someone I have never seen before, but that feeling, that knowing, that comfort to lock eyes in a gaze that has seen interlocking bodies, internal memories, external desires, all there, all instant and yet ancient intrinsic in all my fibers, my love, my love I have never known until now but now have met with all expectations met… I immediately pull her in, impulse, comfort, closer, almost close enough to touch her nose to nose but only to stop and dive that deeper into her eyes, her green-deep-corona swirling eyes, swallowing me whole, all the while with that smile, that smile I’ve known and that only I could conjure upon her, her warmth, damn her warmth on my skin, her exact temperature when she is close, a reminder, every detail a mapped corridor walked, no secrets, no past, all skeletons exorcised and catalogued, yes, yes, she is the one, the one I never have known but now realized now, how the hope of love sweeps up my ark into a new era with instantaneous hand, I try to absorb every atom of the moment into my core, some of me knows this is fleeting, some of me knows this is dream, but the sum of me – an intense flame has been stoked into a fire…
and I awoke.

not with despair, as you and I might expect, but hope, such blossoming hope, as my now woke human doubt creeps in with the lowering sun day, but no, lucid dreaming has not fooled me, nor lied, nor tricked, nor stolen, this dream, this experience has given me… a key.

I can not tell you how real it felt, I can see her face so clearly, it is insane, but if insane saves me from the pit of despair, that the girl of my dreams is… not just in dreams, and what separates the two (reality and dreams)… how would we know? and what we experience in dreams is experience in my view…
origins… -*-

origins… -*-

Photo by egil sju00f8holt on Pexels.com

origins
cruel perception
the trick of life
am I the culmination
of thought of dream
my parents decision
cosmic reconciliation
into being
the universe quite decided
for I an now

sometimes my view of life takes a turn, or perhaps perspective shifts. is this all a dream? how would I know, how would I really perceive it, and conversely are dreams real, are they reality, we think of something so it does and did exist because of that thought, it did happen, at least somewhere, in some space, in our mind, but yet we may dismiss this as not reality, what is reality, what brought us forth, a thought? perhaps, it is all a circular firing squad from there, a never ending loop, are we in the act of creating merely by imagination, or is imagination the cauldron of truth, of life, all determined by perception, a house looks much different from the inside than from the out, a mountain looks different when staring at the base than when peering from the summit top, and that is a matter of mere feet, not a cosmic mile like looking at earth from the moon or taking a ride on neptune’s 165 year orbit to look around the solar system from another view, these are the things swirling around my brain this day… how about you?

Resisting the Poison (a return from the land of lucid dreaming) (@)}(@)

Resisting the Poison (a return from the land of lucid dreaming) (@)}(@)

Photo by Jess Vide on Pexels.com

is it possible? I feel different today (and yes my coffee has settled in), I mean, I always feel different after a few days off, but something, something has shifted, I feel it, I swear it from the bottom up, toes up spine down, is it days of optimism (ahem, and rest) welled up? perhaps, has not the usual office grime whiped off on me enough, yet? the dreary drive through driving rain (check), am I different from just a few days ago? what has changed? not much, really, something about perception versus reality I suppose, but … I just don’t know, I feel different, hopeful, even downhill among these moguls thrown out in front of me like field mines in all our lives these days, all is well, hell, not anything has changed really but a sunrise in my mind, I spent a few days dreaming, now, you might think I am joshing, no, I literally spent a few days involved in lucid dreaming, an experiment, to the best I could manage, or drive, I visited Hawaii I tell you, certainly not but my mind touched that spot, surely, I can not describe how I did thrive in that environ, especially since it was the whole cloth creation of my imagination, never been to the real place, regardless of the weather outside, the actual weather, there I resided, for a time, snuggly warm inside the real, closed my eyes with a purpose, guidebook in hand mind, as to where I might go, my own ship to steer, and so I did, some of this was mundane, arguments over meals, details about rooms, the usual insane things in our normal day to day even on vacay, but other times, I was indulged, to see friends and former, others and lovers, the never hads and the used to be familiars, it was all there at the fingertips of instant writing memory, as I went and experienced, and so real, what makes it less real? I woke from excitement, anger, passion, and rolled over for more, as the hours went, a day spent, in another world, somewhere I had not been before but could populate so easily with my mind, a charm, the shore, the breeze, the personal interactions, conversations happened, all of the recall, I could quote chapter and verse although, I wrote this journey as I went and came in REM worlds, as real as spent, and today, back in that chair, that desk, that office, I look out my window, birds traveling from rooftop to rooftop… (as have I)

“…in pieces slide, pieces slide out, we are a puzzle with nothing to solve but ourselves.” – some guy aka me

I stand at the gate and the song my heart sings is of the moonlight
I stand and I wait
for the grace of your hand
to cover the moon
the roses are blushing, a moonlight seranade

the stars, how they glow,
and tonight how their light guides my dreaming,
to you, my love,
do you know? of course you know,
my whispers in your ear streaming,
like the meteor shower above
this earth, and these heavens combined,
has brought this;
a moonlight serenade

let us stay here, as long as time
in this place of mind,
a valley of shared dreams
you and I,
our hands the circle of space and mind
all else remains frozen but our waltzing eyes

so let me not wait to drift to sleep,
come to me in that tender dream
meet me at the gate,
so to sing a sweet lullaby,
a moonlight serenade
the song of my love,
as dreams are only life as made
my darling, my love;
a moonlight
serenade.

(now you tell me, how and where I went, and I might flash you a postcard, if only you can see it)