(just a note I will try to split my non corona related posts with my more pure literary ones in case you want to skip either…I get it… the photos are what supermarkets are like now, plexi-glass, staying apart, counting customers in/out)

This may be coming to a town near you.  Being in north New Jersey I am near the all the epi-centers as I have listed previously.  Since not feeling right since last Tuesday (damn it feels like months ago) I have been mainly huddling in place like a cave troll… which I may have been accused of being in the past incidentally. I try to focus on the positive of course but I am glad I made the decision to turn off the news  (pick your flavor of network) last week. I am not learning anything new. Basically as I tell people I check in at halftime for the score and also check in later in the game just to see where things are at, no more, no less, no politics, no opinions, nothing matters beyond taking care of those around you and those you can help out.  I can’t say it isn’t terrifying knowing that unless you are super ill that there is no reason to go to your doctor (or worse circumstances).  I certainly would have as I am super paranoid about my lungs but I have to just place my fate in the hands of the universe (and lots of vitamins, rest, and sanitation of course… and some prayer). I also fear for my elderly folks and do what I can for them but in a strange sense of luck my mom has a visiting aide that helps her and my pops out because my mom is still recovering from hip replacement (literally sprang from rehab in the hospital days before this all went crazy). I can not imagine the guilt of anyone who might infect those they love, it is doubly terrifying in that regard. Is it realistic to try and put it out of your mind? Perhaps but worrying every second and giving in completely to fear does not accomplish anything either. (and I say that knowing my sleep has definitely been affected by anxiety the past few nights especially).  At least the sun came out today a bit, three days of grey skies and rain certainly dampers the mood. This really feels like one moment, one hour, one day at a time, hoping for the end of that tunnel, the turn of spring, the explosion of green around the corner, so clearly I used to see it before, and with a little divine help shall see it again…