Dye RE: entry #1 (how I color the world and the world colors me)
a construction cone made me smile this morning, driving over the snake hill bridge, manhattan on the horizon (said photo for context), I am just this little piece moving through all this madness, and I visualize that I am a thousand feet above looking at the spectacle below, all the moving parts of this little corner of the world, an intersection of conjunctions, in a quasi-parade, it almost looks like cells bustling about in an artery, all moving in some strange sense of unison, this is the way things have to be, with or without me, I am just this little piece in this clockwork existence, am I even alive? does it even matter? so how can I be upset by the little chatter, the small perceived slights that occur to my particular bubble, people cutting me off, someone doing their makeup almost running me into the median, and I look over at the closed lane, you know, the one causing an inferno of frustration among the local inhabitants, and something just washes over me, relief? release? a combination of the intoxication of belief ? perhaps… I just smiled, and felt free, I wish I could bottle the sensation honestly, so pure, and uplifting, I wish I could reside in that space for awhile longer, the freedom or realization of perception, being out of myself but yet fully aware, and I feel it now just some fifteen minutes past, but yet as I pulled up to my office, I knew it would not last, I tried to hold on, but the familiar pulled down, the doubts and common troubles never left, they just took a seat for a breath, is this what “living in the moment” is? such a vague term I never really pursued to converse with it, but I have to admit, the sense of well being was a sure as the seat I am parked in right now, typing these words.
post: this morning, after reading an article yesterday, I decided to take a cold shower, well, that is not 100% accurate, I decided to experiment a touch based on the article, the piece dealt with the Wim Hof method, while I am not some yoga/spiritual guru, or adherent to a specific religious belief I am willing to give things a serious listen and the occasional try should it pique my particular interests, since your body dealing with cold is essentially a reflex I thought it might have merit to give it the ole whirl, I mean, after all, a cold shower is not going to kill you, it certainly is not pleasant but many things are not so… what the hell, why not? Let me be the first to say that standing in a really cold shower for two full minutes on it’s face seems like nothing daunting whatsoever, what can I tell you, try it, the response is certainly interesting, your breathing changes dramatically, interesting to see how things happen automatically when you are observing and not just experiencing, I lasted 30 seconds, this is not a contest so I am not gauging results, no medals to be awarded, I am admittedly refreshed this morning, is it just the cold shower? I don’t know but I have to say I feel pretty good today, so I might try it some more.