10.20.2018

I finally, look upon the ashes of my labor

the totality, the all is but none

the time spent building, gone

the moment to realize with flame in vein, instead

I can not walk the path back

I can not remember all choirs of turns that lead to all, this

nothingness

I will rebuild, but something less

as this, has levied a toll

more than these words may address

notes… I am an optimist and realist both… so sometimes I need to reflect.  I have made plenty of mistakes in my life, I hope to find happiness and also realize that the opportunities of youth are not there anymore, but yet there is hope, there is always hope, at least that is what I tell myself, I just hope that those I have wronged can forgive me, as I can not forgive myself.  I try to believe that regret or the past does not matter. But the past is what is written, it is there, it is done, it can never not be… and that is what bothers me most.  I know I can not change it… I can only change going forward, but it does not alleviate the past…  and should it ?