(porch series)

I knew, in the back of my mind, somewhere (in that dusty old space), among those piles of clutter, old magazines in a digital age, piled up like ancient grave markers but not as grand, more or less memories, piles of them, lying around, I figure I might use them one day, what day? probably never, but there is comfort in them, the familiar things, places I’ve been, they surely are not stepping stones, so I knew, back when this started, this experiment upon reflection, sitting out on the porch seemed like such a harmless predilection, so I knew, I told myself that this would one day (soon) seem like not the smartest endeavor, given the weather, I don’t mind the rain, but the cold, I tell myself it isn’t THAT cold, only 32, c’mon man you grew up here, be a man, toughen up, is it brave or tough to sit out in the cold? surely not, but was it worth it? for these thoughts.

notes… hey, it has been a while, I looked at my pay stub and I did 73 hours last week, sure, I don’t have kids, I get it, but 73 hours is a pretty rough week, and weak it made my writing, I have been remiss, but things ebb and flow, and so do I, I was inspired enough to post, and that is enough, for now, winter is the time of slumber, to burn lumber for warmth and more likely comfort, I am skating out to the end of the year, I just learned tonight that my uncle of age 91, fell, and is most likely done, he broke his neck, a man I worked for and respect, an intellectual (sharp as a tack), reduced to a bed ridden individual, I am not sure what will happen with my uncle sammy, that is his name, I didn’t plan to post about it, but that is what it is, I wrote the above earlier but my mind is now particular, at times like these we measure our lives against those, those who are passing, surely a life lived, but a life gone?  still, it stings home.  I will miss my uncle even if this is not his final night, but at 91 with a broken neck, facing surgery, do I pray ? I hope, but I know the outcome if not in this day, this is all from the cuff, my apologies, I just have to post.