the box
a strange perception, the summer seems to have slipped away quietly, there were heat waves, sure, yes, but summer is like a pressure release valve, ingrained in the culture in these parts, maybe others, from a young age based on our educational setup, summer was a time of unbridled freedom, sunrise to sunset galloping like wild horses on the plains until the dinner yell was mounted (or shouted like an instant recall yo-yo pull string), but this feels different, the ‘Q’ word, quarantine, or just the stay in place and huddle orders seem to have bottled something up, the familiar forms of autumn are already taking shape, the days are shorter, I noticed a bachelor mosquito on the door and thought better of squashing him, thinking his time is up anyway, his friends certainly had plenty of fun at my expense as I sat around more, at home that is, no gatherings, no parties, no bar-bee-qs, a season of daisy chained similar days of avoiding the plague and human contact, is it possible to feel fenced in mentally by such restrictions? I feel walls closing in when I really grasp for the feel, things become normal, the abnormal routine becomes normal, the masks, the gloves, the hand sanitizer (which I was a fiend of beforehand anyway), not being able to pull up a chair at a local pub for some great local grub for even a minute, not one, getting take out from places that seemed more like hostage situations or hazmat containment units from movies done, as I sit here on this beautiful waning summer eve, leaves at my feet, first casualties, still plenty of green to admire and block the sun, enough, somewhat, I feel as if I missed out on something this year, something was stolen, or gone, I can not quite describe or point my finger to exactly the cause, I feel caged in some way, penned in, and now, with darkness closing in, the season of shorts and flip flops coming to an end, I feel robbed of the freedom that summer sparks in fourth of july fireworks, the consummate release of sorts, I am thankful I did not catch the disease or any for that matter (as far as I can tell) but that does not mean I can not feel flatter down than I might in a given year, knowing that winter is on the way, around the corner, surely, indoors will be more necessary than mandated, doors and layered clothing closing in, and that is coming soon, way too soon, so as best I can, I try to bottle this amazing moment and put it on the shelf with the rest of them, an elixir for a snowy day perhaps, I just hope they last me through the winter into the hopeful spring.