“All the ways into this grot were then sealed against the entry of water or aught else, all save one.” — J. R. R. Tolkien, The Two Towers, 1954

I think about this often, no matter how clever I am, no matter how smart, I am human, and subject to fault, regardless of how many thousands of times I have done things right, and how I can pull results from thin air at times, I am not a robot nor a computer, although my coworkers might accuse me of either, I am well aware of my fallibility, my humanity, my mortality, we all reflect on it in days like these, Kobe Bryant is just another person, a very talented one in his field, I want no one to die but I mourn more for his young daughter that had not the chance to live, he lived, he had an amazing life, cut short, as are so many given history, but a 10 year old boy was shot in Newburgh NY today as well, those are the ones I mourn for, the ones that didn’t have the chance to reflect on life like I can and have, I feel a guilt and a shame for not being everything every minute I could be, I am not sure where to take it, if life matters at all, I have made it this far, I will continue on but have I squandered it all…. so I question, so I breathe… so I try to be that better person even if the end is the same…