Thanksgiving was interesting…
My mother hosted Thanksgiving for years upon years when I was a kid, a literal houseful of people (usually around 30 or so) and she did almost all the cooking (some people brought sides but the mains, nah, all my mom), which somehow made my dad (RIP) pissed off that other family never did these holiday things (oy, family politics that you find out about later, even though all the signs were there when you were a kid – and how those little tremors reverb through life, and you find out later – and were like “duh”… so obvious but not to you). I was so used to the huge ‘all family’ (well, half family, it was my mom’s side almost always). Thanksgiving. It was very much the old school thing, the dudes (men) would all wind up in the den watching the 4pm NFL game barely staying awake and having all the man talk about football and sports and football and… more football)…. the women in the other room, talking about, well, I have no idea, I was in the dude room but there was always coffee. The little ones, like energy bombs, impacting both rooms with joy, happiness, chaos, those little immediate flare ups (“such and such hit me!!!” etc.).
Things have varied through the years since… since many things, people move away, people move to well – you know, that place, family politics push and pull…
This year, my cousin had a bunch of us over again (even with some burdens in her life – her husband has a debilitating disease), which was really great, I brought my Mom who is now on the eldest end of the life conveyor belt… I often think of life like that (a conveyor belt)… and it is strange for me to be nearer to the end of that belt than toward the beginning – but – better that than the alternative – some people never get to this point.
But I guess this is like the Thanksgiving day parade we all go through.
I did sit back today and just watch a ton (I felt a bit detached at times)… seeing my younger cousins who I used to love watch running around being total rugrats… so now, to see them, with their kids… little mobile units that need bumpers and buffers, running trucks under tables and people’s feet with no cares, others, a little younger, bringing the current boyfriend, who was a good dude, who seemed smart enough to know he was being measured up (even if mildly, can’t be an easy spot – but what those kids don’t realize, if they are good enough to make those we love happy – we usually like ’em), seeing the generation just ahead of me, that used to seem so much older, they seem so much closer to myself somehow, in age these days, decades- seem to shrink as you get older…
I used to love the gorging… the eating.. the food (I am not a sides guy, give me 5 lbs of turkey – white meat!!)… still do, not today, I ate, but not much, enough, but just being there eclipsed the meal portion, watching all this “life” in the ‘wild’ of domestic bliss… regardless of anything going on in the backgrounds of our lives… this coming together survives and teaches… these type of rare days are like a crucible of what can be…