waiting at the last train
stop.
I never quite paid attention
to schedules
now
but-
I notice the light
fashioned as a fired old lantern
but
not
how is this
the last light
I might
Month: August 2025
amongst the garden
strolling amongst the rows
in the garden of god
so go I
flowers capture the eye
and the pollinator’s attentions
but
there are meadows of grasses
perhaps not unexpected
the lesser children also have their place
just as diverse with grace as the show ponies may
for a dandelion roars in much the same way
we all have our favorites… I love bamboo, noted, but there has been some cool grasses that have floated in to my yard… and I let it happen, because, they are not “weeds” they are just other plants… why fight the local nature of things? it is crazy to me. I am slowly converting my lawn to non-lawn. Doing the whole lawn grass thing is a waste of resource and money honestly. I would rather see some cool local grasses mixed in with landscape elements like rocks I dug myself… now… I am NOT telling you to do the same, my neighbor loves him some lawn, he practically pets it daily… that is fine, but… for me… I don’t see it anymore, it was a 50s/60s ideal to have the perfect lawn. Now.. I am not an advocate for out of control garbage lawn… do the work, it is rewarding (at least to me)… Some weeds are good because… they aint weeds. Crab Grass can suck my ass… just saying.. but damn it can grow in anything…
lost love letters
when I look in that place
in my heart
you are still there
somehow, a permanent resident
I can not seem to evict
regardless of circumstance
or years, or decades (now)-
I have taken up other residence
in this neighborhood, but…
for such a house was built
on the most solid of things
and yet the most fleeting I’ve found,
a place where the hearth burns bright
with dreams
and hope
but the true heart that beats, forever
in that distance of past-
is love.
I used to fear
but now I know
that will truly be death to part
for that hearth to finally grow cold.
of course I am playing with the vows of marriage in the last refrain, to be honest we never considered it, we didn’t need it… we were bound to each other immediately. So many years ago… yes, call me a fool or whatever… I am the only one who has to live with me and I judge myself more harshly than you ever could. but the thoughts and memories persist.. people say they see their whole life flash in front of them, with her I saw my life, and ending on a porch with her looking out on a field, we always loved to plant things, and sculk around plant nurseries… my hand in hers, hers in mine, just complete comfort, no words spoken, just the sound of the wind and the subtle warming of the sun on our old bodies… I saw that the minute I met her… and screwed it all up, nothing has been the same since. I am an eternal optimist… so… I hope to find someone, I have tried, I feel available… but it has failed, at least for now, I feel responsible for turning two lives…
typical blog post.
tis the summer, so, like a restless bird awakened from slumber, I have been out wandering the world in the glory of the sun, sounds decadent and fun, and well, there has been some of that to be sure, my favorite band was in town (King’s X) and that leads to good times and an excuse to have good times I guess, first night Jersey (Red Bank) on a Thursday, the haze lifted just as I arrived in town (no, literally, there was haze from the Canadian wildfires plaguing us for days), of course it took over two hours to drive from my office to said Red Bank (all of 50 miles, you do the math), what wrath I had from said traffic melted away with a rauchbier at Triumphs but more than that, the sun, good company, new friends and old, mussels in a saffron tomato broth, so yeah… the traffic thing melted away quite quickly… days like these are precious commodities, and so few and far between, at least for me, it is true that if you can find work that does not seem like work you are set, but how many of us do? or are so lucky? I am lucky enough to be gainfully employed and enjoy the fruits of my hard work if only on lesser occasion than I might wish for… but I have that, at least. Summer is fleeting, heck… fleeing… another blink and another Fall is upon us, where does it all go? At least I carved out a little memory, for even just a few hours, I can reminisce and feel that sun, the conversations, the kinship of those with the same tastes, moments, that is what it is all about… moments, so have them, notice them, record them in your noggin as best you can… so in times where there is darkness, those inner flames can never bend.
rationing.
I try to persuade her
to let those unborn eyes see
a sunrise
of this sun
before it becomes
just another,
-blank space-
assured am I
(her words, not mine)
that my eyes
will not be the last
to gaze
on a sunrise;
might I comfort
my own pause
and end